My first law firm regularly represented the county coroners office. The coroner was sued from time to time over findings that the deceased had committed suicide. Even when the evidence was crystal clear, some parents, children, spouses, etc. could not accept that their loved one would commit suicide. The cases went on and on forever — it was pretty unbelievable.
That was the first time it struck me how strong denial can be.
I would guess that the situation is a thousand times worse when a loved one commits such an awful act as apparently occurred here. It would not surprise me at all if the grandmother was in deep denial about what happened. And the state’s decision not to prosecute would be an easy thing to latch onto as “evidence” that the daughter in law really didn’t do it — that the medical examiner was wrong — that he really did stop breathing. And it does not surprise me that her mind built a narrative that something good had grown out of an awful event.
The church should really do some serious fact checking in these faith promoting anecdotes. Someone should have had the wisdom to steer her away from using her grandson’s death in this manner.
I feel nothing but compassion for the grandmother, and dragging her back through a tragic and hideous event seems unnecessarily cruel to me. I truly don’t get it.