What's the Alternative?

[IHAQ]

Bumping for Kevin (as requested)

My marriage to my wife (which is very much worth preserving forever) requires membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She has told me quite explicitly that she would divorce me if I ever left that church, and I fully believe she would.

Does “left the church” mean name removal, or would simply going inactive end your marriage?

[Physics Guy]

If you believe in exclusively Mormon concepts like sealing to children then you are presumably gung-ho for remaining in the Mormon church and don't need to worry about alternatives because you are down with all of it.

If Mormonism is seriously wrong about important things, then staying in the LDS church probably wouldn't do anything for your eternal relationship with your children, because that's one of the dubious parts of Mormonism. If there is a God who somehow gives eternal life to people, it's pretty unlikely that such a being would keep a father from his children just because he or they failed to stay on the right membership roll. So if you're suspecting that Mormonism may be seriously wrong about important things, then it makes no sense to stay in the LDS church because of sealing to children. Sealing to children is surely one of the things that the LDS church has all wrong.

Staying in because your wife will divorce you if you leave, on the other hand, could be a pretty good reason for staying in. My impression is that although Mormonism is a high-demand religion, what it mainly demands is deeds rather than thoughts. You have to tithe and participate in a lot of activities, but I have often read on these and other boards that as long as you don't preach heretical beliefs to other Mormons too much, you're allowed to believe—or not believe—almost whatever you want. Continuing individual revelation, and all that.

Apparently you don't actually have to be all that keen a Mormon to be a perfectly good Mormon. So if you have a good family reason for staying in the church, a reason which is worth all the costs in time and money and lifestyle restrictions, then I don't see why you can't just march along under the radar thinking your own thoughts.

If you find that your church is really doing some kind of harm to people, then you might want to do something to stop that, or at least oppose it. But if you find serious abuses like that, then maybe your wife will change her mind, too. If Mormon piety conflicts with Mormon conscience it might not be the piety that proves to be stronger.

[dastardly stem]

Bumping for Kevin (as requested)

My marriage to my wife (which is very much worth preserving forever) requires membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She has told me quite explicitly that she would divorce me if I ever left that church, and I fully believe she would.
Similarly, the sealing between us and my four children (that is also worth preserving forever) requires membership in that church. Those are the first things that come to mind.

That’s called extortion, but I suppose you already knew that.

[Rivendale]

Bumping for Kevin (as requested)

My marriage to my wife (which is very much worth preserving forever) requires membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She has told me quite explicitly that she would divorce me if I ever left that church, and I fully believe she would.
Similarly, the sealing between us and my four children (that is also worth preserving forever) requires membership in that church. Those are the first things that come to mind.

A contract for emotional intimacy . Life long partners that share all their hopes and aspirations. Live through deaths of children and parents. Experience grand inspirations from the life they build. And this one link severs all this. And it isn't like the contract can't be broken by infidelity or any of the other myriad of marital issues. No it is a thought crime. A thought crime unsubstantiated in reality. At least lipstick on the collar is visible. I agree with Gemli. People will believe almost anything.

[Philo Sofee]

My marriage to my wife (which is very much worth preserving forever) requires membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She has told me quite explicitly that she would divorce me if I ever left that church, and I fully believe she would.
Similarly, the sealing between us and my four children (that is also worth preserving forever) requires membership in that church. Those are the first things that come to mind.

That’s called extortion, but I suppose you already knew that.

Yes, the church guilts you into slavery...