Dreams of Being Called on a Mission

[Philo Sofee]

Wow I have those kind of return to mission dreams also. I am always back in St. Louis in the slums and bad places. In one I told my companion as we were studying that I wasn't going tracting, I was going to study, he went back to bed. I actually had a companion like that!

[Analytics]

I wish I had done this when the temple speaker voice told me I could leave the cult like ceremony.

But my wedding was on the line, family was all around, and I was a captive victim. If I could go back in time I would have stood up for myself and my beliefs.

I wonder if anybody has had to guts to take off at that point, ever. I'd love to shake that person's hand.

[Analytics]

The topic has come up before and I was surprised I wasn't the only one. Was this reliving the mission as a new missionary or forced to return at the time in your life you're at now?

I had these occasionally for a while but can't remember the last one. Maybe over 10 years after returning. Mine were always some technicality sent me back at the age I was at the time, and it was always a horrible sinking feeling.

Interesting you had one where you got to beat the matrix. The thing is about dreams, is that for me, the bad sinking feeling doesn't necessarily track whether the dream narrative is good or bad.

I was probably where I am now. I remember I was wearing the classic white shirt and tie, while the missionaries around me had more contemporary outfits, such as blue shirts without ties. So I was out of place that way. I was also thinking about how the experience had changed from when I was there the first time in 1989. In my dream MTC, it now has a gift shop by the main entrance that sells Legos.

[Analytics]

Does focusing on the good in your mission help to relieve any of the PTSD? I've certainly been blessed by encountering you online, Analytics. Had you not gone on mission and I had not encountered you on the website which ultimately led to my registering and participating on ZLMB, I don't know where I'd be today; a life forever changed.
As a result of this thread, I have reached out to one of the missionaries that taught me many years ago. It didn't go so well the last time I reached out to him nine years ago.

My mission affected me deeply, but it wouldn't be fair to say I have PTSD about it--it's not like I was in a war zone and got limbs blown off by a bomb.

I don't regret going--I learned things there I couldn't have learned any other way. I met my wife on my mission, and learned a foreign language which has been extremely valuable to me later in life. I'm happy with how my life is, and you're right--I'd be a totally different person had I not gone, and wouldn't have met you and the other wonderful folks here.

[Analytics]

Wow I have those kind of return to mission dreams also. I am always back in St. Louis in the slums and bad places. In one I told my companion as we were studying that I wasn't going tracting, I was going to study, he went back to bed. I actually had a companion like that!

Many of my happiest missionary memories are when I broke the rules!

[Dr. Sunstoned]

I also had the recurring dreams of having to serve again. They were not good dreams. My mission experience was hard for me as I have always had issues with authority, and with being told what to do. I worked hard and obeyed all the silly rules the best I could. I do feel bitter that I made the decision to serve under false pretenses. I was indoctrinated with falsehoods. Often times the leaders knew the truth and chose to deceive. In my book, the ends rarely justifies the means.

The idea of returning to your mission is being documented in a film:

The return of Elder Pingree. memoir of a departed Mormon.

Lapsed Mormon Geoff Pingree retraces the steps he took twenty-five years earlier in Guatemala as devout missionary 'Elder Pingree'.

https://www.returnofelderpingree.com/

[msnobody]

As a result of this thread, I have reached out to one of the missionaries that taught me many years ago. It didn't go so well the last time I reached out to him nine years ago.

msnobody, if you feel comfortable sharing, I would love to know what happened.

I hope I’ll have something to return and report. All I have is an email address I’m not 100% sure about.

[Tator]

I am more thankful right now for not going on a mission than I ever have been.