A good Mormon man, “until he put a bullet through … their heads.”

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Everybody Wang Chung
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Re: A good Mormon man, “until he put a bullet through … their heads.”

Post by Everybody Wang Chung »

Marcus wrote:
Wed Feb 01, 2023 6:13 pm
As long as the lds church considers itself “the gold standard” in dealing with abuse, but still refuses to put into place the most basic preventive measures, i don’t see how articles like this are trying too hard to make this a Mormon issue.

In the article, it was the comments about the obituary for the murderer that hit the hardest for me:
…where Latter-day Saints seem to fail is in what happens after abuse has been reported. I’ve written before about the ways the church’s structural sexism creates a fraternity of men who serve together and know each other well. Since women are excluded from the vast majority of leadership callings, they don’t develop that kinship or have personal access to friendship with local church leaders.

This elevates the chance that when a woman goes with fear and trembling to report abuse to her bishop, the bishop is going to greet her allegations with caution or even suspicion: Wait, that guy? Brother Goode? Oh, sister, I know you’re sad about something, but that just can’t be true. You must be exaggerating. Brother Goode could never do that.

This kind of denial was on display most painfully and tragically in the obituary Michael Haight’s remaining family members wrote after the murder-suicide he perpetrated. Nowhere did the obituary (which has since been removed but can be seen via screenshots here) even mention the fact that Haight had murdered his wife and children. Rather, it portrayed him as the consummate father. He saw each child as “a treasured miracle” and “made it a point to spend quality time with each and every one.”

In a way, Haight’s surviving family did us a great service in publishing that insanely laudatory encapsulation of his life. It teaches Mormons what we manifestly do not want to hear: that the abusers sitting with us in the pews can look like amazing men. They may be returned missionaries, Eagle Scouts and successful business owners. And loving dads who make it a point to spend quality time with each and every member of their family.

Michael Haight was like that too. That is, until he put a bullet through each and every one of their heads.
Good Lord! He saw each child as "a treasured miracle" until he murdered them?
"I'm on paid sabbatical from BYU in exchange for my promise to use this time to finish two books."

Daniel C. Peterson, 2014
dastardly stem
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Re: A good Mormon man, “until he put a bullet through … their heads.”

Post by dastardly stem »

Marcus wrote:
Wed Feb 01, 2023 6:13 pm
As long as the lds church considers itself “the gold standard” in dealing with abuse, but still refuses to put into place the most basic preventive measures, i don’t see how articles like this are trying too hard to make this a Mormon issue.
Excellent point.
“Every one of us is, in the cosmic perspective, precious. If a human disagrees with you, let him live. In a hundred billion galaxies, you will not find another.”
― Carl Sagan, Cosmos
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Doctor CamNC4Me
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Re: A good Mormon man, “until he put a bullet through … their heads.”

Post by Doctor CamNC4Me »

dastardly stem wrote:
Wed Feb 01, 2023 3:08 pm
Family abuse by a dominating father is age old. Its certainly not a Mormon thing. Police getting word from women to not press charges is also not a Mormon thing. I'm not saying there's not something to talk about here. There definitely is and Mormon related. I am saying though this isn't exclusively Mormon at all. In most small communities it's hard to hear that an otherwise adored and respected man is abusive. It's hard to square with the perception. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed the article and think there are many good things about it. I just think its trying too hard to make this about a failure of Mormonism. When it's a failure everywhere. How would we know if any priesthood leaders or anyone was alerted to the abuse? It seems to all be suspicion raised to complain about Mormonism, which I totes get. I mean I like pointing out Mormonism's failures and weaknesses too.
It’s statistically likely that some of the police officers investigating the case, perhaps including the ones who dismissed it when Macie’s mother, Tausha Haight, decided not to press charges, were Mormon.
I think that's common in abuse and not a Mormon thing at all--to not press charges. And not a fault of police, at least how we have it set up. This is ominously set up. "well if the police officers were Mormon too, then of course they are going to be good old boys with the dad and not press charges". That's just not how things work.

Some years back before I was married I was out with a lady. We were traveling down the street and out of the corner of my eye I saw some excited violent behavior looked over and saw a man pounding on a woman. I stopped and they quickly walked away from me, before I could get very close. The police came, after I called and caught them. The woman decided not to press charges at all and said it was nothing. The police let them go saying "there's nothing we can do". There's nothing Mormon about that incident. It's just normal activity. If the parties involved say there is really no incident and wish not to press charges, the police can't really do much.

With that said, it's likely this man was abusive to his wife and it spread to his children. She got the courage to leave him after probably years of suffering. That's what I'd imagine. it could be a couple of one off incidents, sure. But we may never really know that. Whatever the case he apparently wasn't going to let his family leave. He may have very well felt shame considering what his ward and community would think of him. Who knows? I think it's disgusting his family tried to minimize this incident and praised him.
I think it becomes a ‘Mormon thing’ when Mormons involve themselves in the abuse and cover up. There’s really no way around that. Imnsho, anyone who learns of physical or sexual abuse taking place within any context, really, and doesn’t report it, is guilty of aiding and abetting the abuser and revictimizing the abused.

For example, the Mormons who learned their fellow Mormon was ****ing his kids, and sent him back to his family, only for him to continue ****ing his kids (and filming it for online pedophiles to watch), are the scum of the earth. The Mormon church, knowingly covering for these offenders and repeat offenders is literally a pedophilic and pederastic cult. They’ve been a pederast haven since its inception. This is 100% undeniable fact. From Joseph Smith through Boy Scouts, they’ve knowingly covered for men who like to **** kids. Period. Not even a question at this point.

eta from r/exmo:
The more of these cases I encounter, the more convinced I am that the concept of “the gift of discernment” may have facilitated the sexual abuse of thousands of LDS children.
When a parent told the Bishop in my ward that her kids said they were abused, the Bishop used his discernment to tell her it was a misunderstanding & that it didn’t happen & she needed to stay quiet about it. The man went on to sexually abuse 10+ more LDS kids after that point.
- Doc
Hugh Nibley claimed he bumped into Adolf Hitler, Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill, Gertrude Stein, and the Grand Duke Vladimir Romanoff. Dishonesty is baked into Mormonism.
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