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John Dehlin Primary Sing-along!
Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2023 2:51 pm
by SaturdaysVoyeur
I looked out the window and what did I see?
Drama popping on the John Dehlin tree!
Kamp has brought us such a nice surprise,
Management problems right before our eyes.
We'll parse every tidbit, oh, what a treat!
Unconfirmed gossip makes us feel so sweet.
It's none of our concern, but we'll disagree
'Bout the drama popping on the John Dehlin tree!
Re: John Dehlin Primary Sing-along!
Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2023 1:06 am
by Kishkumen
Nicely done!
Re: John Dehlin Primary Sing-along!
Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2023 1:10 am
by Philo Sofee
SaturdaysVoyeur wrote: ↑Tue Feb 21, 2023 2:51 pm
I looked out the window and what did I see?
Drama popping on the John Dehlin tree!
Kamp has brought us such a nice surprise,
Management problems right before our eyes.
We'll parse every tidbit, oh, what a treat!
Unconfirmed gossip makes us feel so sweet.
It's none of our concern, but we'll disagree
'Bout the drama popping on the John Dehlin tree!
I hear the church needs some new songs, you need to apply.
Here's my attempt at helping out:
Jesus wants me to invest in wealth,
to pay for my great debts,
Take the tithing and invest it,
in His Corporation, and yet...
A dollar! A Dollar!
Jesus wants even my Dollar!
A dollar! A Dollar!
Jesus even wants that from me.
Re: John Dehlin Primary Sing-along!
Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2023 9:04 am
by Dr. Shades
Philo Sofee wrote: ↑Wed Feb 22, 2023 1:10 am
Jesus wants me to invest in wealth,
to pay for my great debts,
Take the tithing and invest it,
in His Corporation, and yet...
A dollar! A Dollar!
Jesus wants even my Dollar!
A dollar! A Dollar!
Jesus even wants that from me.
Dude, your syllable count and meter are WAY off.
Rule of thumb: When you post a song or poem, sing or read it out loud, with your actual voice, and see how it sounds. When it comes out sounding funny, rewrite accordingly.