Joseph Smith and Turkmenbashy

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Everybody Wang Chung
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Joseph Smith and Turkmenbashy

Post by Everybody Wang Chung »

Have any of you ever wondered what would have happened if Joseph Smith didn't die in Carthage jail? Would he have eventually fled West with the Saints and become even more power hungry? I think there was a good chance of this happening once Joseph was geographically isolated and had absolute authority over the Saints with no meaningful opposition.

There is a podcast called Real Dictators that I've been listening to. Recently, I've listened to a two part series on the most insane dictator that I've heard about. His name was Turkmenbaşhy. After the fall of the Soviet Union he became the dictator of Turkmenistan until his death in 2006. Once given absolute power and no longer being under the control of the Soviet Union, Turkmenbashy started to slowly lose his grip on reality. Nobody dared oppose him and, as they say, absolute power corrupts absolutely. Turkmenbashy started out as semi-normal, but gradually (as his authority increased) became an almost godlike megalomaniac. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t ... 0547559007

What struck me were the similarities between Turkmenbashy and Joseph Smith. All it would have taken for Joseph to become like Turkmenbashy is the opportunity. Moving West with the Saints would have geographically isolated him from the outside world and U.S. government influence. Joseph would have had absolute authority, unchecked.

Here are a few of the many things Turkmenbashy did under his rule (I wonder what Joseph would have come up with given the opportunity):

-- Gold teeth and fillings were banned in Turkmenistan after he said that the populace should chew on bones to strengthen their teeth and lessen the rate at which they fall out. He said, "I watched dogs when I was young. They were given bones to gnaw to strengthen their teeth. Those of you whose teeth have fallen out did not chew on bones. This is my advice..."

-- He banned the use of lip syncing in his country in 2005.

— He declared himself as Jesus retuned to Earth.

-- Every year on his birthday he would pardon everyone in prison, regardless of their crimes. If you were ever arrested for anything, all you had to do was wait until his next birthday and you would be pardoned and freed.

-- He banished dogs because of their unappealing odor.

-- He wrote the Ruhnama (meaning "the book of the spirit/soul"), and made it mandatory in all schools, in public offices and for obtaining a drivers license, and excerpts from the book were periodically read on Turkmen Television.

-- He made the second Sunday of August "Melon Day" in honor of melons, one of his favorite foods.

-- In August 2002, he ordered a renaming of months and days of the week to the names of members of his family.

-- In 2000, he also abolished the Turkmen word for bread and replaced it with Gurbansoltan, his mother's name.

-- He outlawed opera, ballet and circuses in 2001 for being decidedly unturkmen-like.

-- In February 2004, he decreed that men should no longer wear long hair or beards.

-- In March 2004, he fired doctors and gymnastics instructors and replaced them with military conscripts.

-- In March 2005, he ordered the closure of all hospitals outside Ashgabat, stating that the sick should go to the capital for treatment.

-- He also ordered the closure of all libraries outside the capital, stating that the reason was that ordinary Turkmens did not read anyway.

-- He banned the reporting and even mentioning of contagious diseases such as AIDS or cholera.

-- He banned news reporters and presenters from wearing makeup on television.

-- He banned car radios because he considered them to be useless.

-- He also renamed the airport, most mountains, over 40 buildings and 100 streets after himself.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saparmyrat_Ny%C3%BDazow
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drumdude
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Re: Joseph Smith and Turkmenbashy

Post by drumdude »

Imagine a theocratic state of Deseret sitting there like a tumor in the western side of America. Instead of 2-3 million active Mormons, imagine tens of millions. Polygamy was never revoked. Slavery is still allowed. Joseph Smith’s family rules the religion like North Korea, trading young women like playing cards.

It is a nightmarish thought.
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Re: Joseph Smith and Turkmenbashy

Post by toon »

I’d fully support a ban on lip syncing, air guitars, and even karaoke.

With regard to your post, I suspect it may have been just as likely that has Joseph Smith lived, his followers would have dwindled just a few insignificant offshoots. I think BY gets credit for the Utah church and a lot of what Mormonism is today. Joseph Smith didn’t seem to have had that skill set, for better or worse.
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Dr. Shades
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Re: Joseph Smith and Turkmenbashy

Post by Dr. Shades »

Remember, Joseph Smith didn't lead anyone anywhere. He simply fled to branches that had already been established by others.

With that in mind, he likely would've stayed in Nauvoo, becoming more megalomaniacal and losing his grip on reality bit by bit until all but a token few hangers-on recognized him for what he was, apostatized, then went elsewhere.
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Re: Joseph Smith and Turkmenbashy

Post by Fence Sitter »

I think Smith would have been killed sooner or later, most likely by a disgruntled member whose wife and or daughters he seduced.
Don Bradley
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Re: Joseph Smith and Turkmenbashy

Post by Don Bradley »

Remember how as prophet, mayor, and justice of the peace, Joseph Smith enacted all sorts of crazy idiosyncratic rules based on his bizarre preferences?

Neither do I.

And having researched the man closely for 35 years, I have trouble imagining him doing any such thing.

So, as amusing as the anecdotes about Turkmenbashy are, they seem to have vanishingly little to do with Joseph Smith. Wouldn't it be better to post something interesting about a historical figure like Turkmenbashy for its own sake without stretching to find imaginary parallels with Smith?

Nonetheless, thanks for the introduction to this wildly entertaining Turkmenbashy.

Don
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Re: Joseph Smith and Turkmenbashy

Post by Marcus »

Don Bradley wrote:
Tue Mar 21, 2023 2:21 am
Remember how as prophet, mayor, and justice of the peace, Joseph Smith enacted all sorts of crazy idiosyncratic rules based on his bizarre preferences?

Neither do I.
oh. So marrying multiple women and girls who were under age, related to each other, and/or already married to other men isn't idiosyncratic enough for you? Huh. I would have thought that would be a no-brainer.
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Doctor CamNC4Me
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Re: Joseph Smith and Turkmenbashy

Post by Doctor CamNC4Me »

Don Bradley wrote:
Tue Mar 21, 2023 2:21 am
Remember how as prophet, mayor, and justice of the peace, Joseph Smith enacted all sorts of crazy idiosyncratic rules based on his bizarre preferences?

Neither do I.
I mean, off the top of my head:

- Banning hot drinks

- tobacco on cattle wounds

- declared martial law in Nauvoo

- ordered the destruction of the Expositor

- created bizarre temple rituals

- made himself a General

- purported to receive revelation from god and receive angelic visits

- sexual deviant, especially for the era

I mean, this could go on for days. I’m not sure how you made the quoted statement in good faith.

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Hugh Nibley claimed he bumped into Adolf Hitler, Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill, Gertrude Stein, and the Grand Duke Vladimir Romanoff. Dishonesty is baked into Mormonism.
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Re: Joseph Smith and Turkmenbashy

Post by Moksha »

If the Kingdom of Deseret had been left alone for at least a century, I think Brother Joseph would have been added as the 4th member of the Mormon Godhead. Mormons like to build upon things, pedestal upon pedestal.
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