Peter and John, a short story (from the NevilleLand archives)
Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2023 9:08 pm
An active LDS member named Peter was seen one night placing a burning paper bag of dog poop on the doorstep of a small clothing shop in Provo.
The act was recorded on a smartphone and reported to the local newspaper by a small group of people who happened to be walking around that night after watching the Jazz game and drinking a few beers at a nearby friend's home.
The store, it turns out, was owned by a member of Peter's stake named John. Peter had taken it upon himself to punish John, because John's clothing shop sold, among other things, bikinis and tank tops for women. Peter found that to be offensive and apostate, and was frustrated that the stake presidency allowed John to continue selling these immodest clothing items without hauling him in for a disciplinary council.
The next morning, on the front page of the Daily Herald, is a photo of Peter lighting fire to that poop bag in front of John's well-known store. The public is outraged and Peter looks like a real ass. John is interviewed, and he expresses that he is both angry and humiliated by Peter's actions. He thanks the anonymous group for catching the perpetrator. Finally, when asked if he'll press charges, John states that if Peter will apologize and help clean the smoke from the windowed door and the stains from the store's sidewalk entrance, then John will not press charges.
Peter, enraged at being caught, immediately thumbs a message on his smartphone and emails it to the Herald's editor. Rather than accept John's offer, or apologize in any way, Peter comes out swinging! This is his moment -- all eyes are watching, and Peter perceives that he can finally nail John to the cross on which he deserves to hang.
First, Peter writes, the video cannot be trusted because it was taken by a group of "drunken, rowdy ex-Mormons, who were undoubtedly involved in even worse crimes, like theft and arson, that night." Not one piece of evidence produced by them has merit, because it is all "breathless hyperbole from avowed antis." It is fundamentally, Peter argues, "religious persecution." Clearly, they were just "opportunistically looking for any chance to make a mockery of a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!" Secondly, Peter proposes, the "real villain" in this story is John. "Forget, for a moment, the immodest clothing he sells," wrote Peter. John is a "fellow Latter-day Saint, who has accepted help from the enemy: ex-Mormons." Finally, "John's alliance with the anti-Mormons makes him a hypocrite, and an unprincipled individual." BOOM!
(To be continued...)
The act was recorded on a smartphone and reported to the local newspaper by a small group of people who happened to be walking around that night after watching the Jazz game and drinking a few beers at a nearby friend's home.
The store, it turns out, was owned by a member of Peter's stake named John. Peter had taken it upon himself to punish John, because John's clothing shop sold, among other things, bikinis and tank tops for women. Peter found that to be offensive and apostate, and was frustrated that the stake presidency allowed John to continue selling these immodest clothing items without hauling him in for a disciplinary council.
The next morning, on the front page of the Daily Herald, is a photo of Peter lighting fire to that poop bag in front of John's well-known store. The public is outraged and Peter looks like a real ass. John is interviewed, and he expresses that he is both angry and humiliated by Peter's actions. He thanks the anonymous group for catching the perpetrator. Finally, when asked if he'll press charges, John states that if Peter will apologize and help clean the smoke from the windowed door and the stains from the store's sidewalk entrance, then John will not press charges.
Peter, enraged at being caught, immediately thumbs a message on his smartphone and emails it to the Herald's editor. Rather than accept John's offer, or apologize in any way, Peter comes out swinging! This is his moment -- all eyes are watching, and Peter perceives that he can finally nail John to the cross on which he deserves to hang.
First, Peter writes, the video cannot be trusted because it was taken by a group of "drunken, rowdy ex-Mormons, who were undoubtedly involved in even worse crimes, like theft and arson, that night." Not one piece of evidence produced by them has merit, because it is all "breathless hyperbole from avowed antis." It is fundamentally, Peter argues, "religious persecution." Clearly, they were just "opportunistically looking for any chance to make a mockery of a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!" Secondly, Peter proposes, the "real villain" in this story is John. "Forget, for a moment, the immodest clothing he sells," wrote Peter. John is a "fellow Latter-day Saint, who has accepted help from the enemy: ex-Mormons." Finally, "John's alliance with the anti-Mormons makes him a hypocrite, and an unprincipled individual." BOOM!
(To be continued...)