My Time as a Mormon Missionary

[markc]

Hi all, just to share my article, My Time as a Mormon Missionary,

https://chumark54.substack.com/p/my-tim ... missionary

Thanks.

[msnobody]

Part of your story reminded me of how the most recent set missionaries had me to read Alma 32, which seems to me to be a manipulative text, especially 32:16.

Sounds like you really cared about people and that is an honorable thing.

[Gadianton]

Selling religion door-to-door is outdated. Selling anything door to door is outdated, but some things might still work a little bit, like selling bug spray, because it really doesn't matter who your bug spray contractor is, your experience isn't going to vary much, and so the relatively high need, low commitment, and uniformity of product may make it worth taking a chance on a few doors, to see if somebody doesn't have a contractor yet.

But with religion, you just type "Mormon" into your phone and save yourself the drama of telling two nice young people to go away, who are trained not to take "no" for an answer.

It's amazing that Elder Holland was really so surprised about the ineffectiveness of missionary work that he was ripping podiums apart. Does he think he could do better? Of course he couldn't, and he knows it, that's what he's so mad about.

The only value missionary work has in life is to commit and to mark one socially, but at one time, it was actually for bringing people into the Church. There is almost a parallel to serving in the military, getting broke down psychologically, and learning to be effective at taking orders. But not quite. Post MTC, to a large degree you're on your own, you don't have a drill sergeant ordering you around; you're only driven by your own guilt. You break yourself in what amounts to a sick experiment by evil men.

You're learning how to be Mormon, which means, how to miserable for the most part, but keep trudging along anyway, playing roles that are fundamentally meaningless, out of guilt. For those who don't form social bonding -- anti-social personality types -- there's an opportunity to rise up in leadership.

[Doctor CamNC4Me]

I almost got merked on three different occasions in the Peru Lima South mission, 1990-92. Not gonna lie, I think my mom low key wanted me to be a martyr, probably for the attention she’d get. On one occasion, I had the pleasure of dodging a knife thrust; it’s really something - I had a hand-knitted book bag I picked up in Cusco I used to block the knife as I scooched out of the way. Whew! Nephi must’ve put his armor on that day!

- Doc

edit: #2 was a direct threat by the Shining Path, and #3 was another attack we had to fend off

[Equality]

It's amazing that Elder Holland was really so surprised about the ineffectiveness of missionary work that he was ripping podiums apart. Does he think he could do better? Of course he couldn't, and he knows it, that's what he's so mad about.

Excellent point. And it also raises the question: if Holland is so great at missionary work, how many converts has *he* brought in to the church, using all the gifts of the Spirit he allegedly possesses by virtue of his great and magnificent priesthood power and high holy office and calling? For that matter, how many converts have the members of the Quorum of the Twelve and First Presidency collectively brought into the church? I bet it's less than the average Central American missionary. I seem to remember a bunch of "revelations" in the Doctrine and Covenants commanding the Q12 to get out into the world and convert people. Instead, they spend their time flying to far-flung places on private jets to berate 19-year-olds for not doing the job they themselves are supposed to do.

[markc]

Part of your story reminded me of how the most recent set missionaries had me to read Alma 32, which seems to me to be a manipulative text, especially 32:16.

Sounds like you really cared about people and that is an honorable thing.

Thanks for the kind words, I appreciate it.

Oh yeah, making investigators read Alma 32:16 is the shaming and guilt trip tactics. Most of the time even if they get baptized, they don't stay long.

I assume you didn't get baptized?

[markc]

But with religion, you just type "Mormon" into your phone and save yourself the drama of telling two nice young people to go away, who are trained not to take "no" for an answer.

They kept on hammering stories and stories of those "hardheaded" or "impossible" people eventually felt the love of God from the true missionaries, so if we didn't persist we "failed." But I was (still am) a very, very bad salesperson, I couldn't even sell a free burger to a homeless person on the street. The sense of failure was deep.

Though I found that telling missionaries and/or members that I was more than happy to discuss but absolutely not interested seemed to stop them. Or maybe I was lucky.

[markc]

I almost got merked on three different occasions in the Peru Lima South mission, 1990-92. Not gonna lie, I think my mom low key wanted me to be a martyr, probably for the attention she’d get. On one occasion, I had the pleasure of dodging a knife thrust; it’s really something - I had a hand-knitted book bag I picked up in Cusco I used to block the knife as I scooched out of the way. Whew! Nephi must’ve put his armor on that day!

- Doc

edit: #2 was a direct threat by the Shining Path, and #3 was another attack we had to fend off

Goodness, I'm glad you live to tell the stories. I believe there are some discussions about the church not taking enough precautions on missionaries' safety, do you agree with that?

[markc]

Excellent point. And it also raises the question: if Holland is so great at missionary work, how many converts has *he* brought in to the church, using all the gifts of the Spirit he allegedly possesses by virtue of his great and magnificent priesthood power and high holy office and calling? For that matter, how many converts have the members of the Quorum of the Twelve and First Presidency collectively brought into the church? I bet it's less than the average Central American missionary. I seem to remember a bunch of "revelations" in the Doctrine and Covenants commanding the Q12 to get out into the world and convert people. Instead, they spend their time flying to far-flung places on private jets to berate 19-year-olds for not doing the job they themselves are supposed to do.

I know many general authorities didn't even serve the mission, but they seemed to have their reasons. For those who did serve, I will be curious how many of their converts stay faithful.

I don't know about Holland's talk, will be interested to watch it. If he really "blames" the missionaries in any shape or form, then that will be totally uncalled for.

[Philo Sofee]

It's amazing that Elder Holland was really so surprised about the ineffectiveness of missionary work that he was ripping podiums apart. Does he think he could do better? Of course he couldn't, and he knows it, that's what he's so mad about.

Excellent point. And it also raises the question: if Holland is so great at missionary work, how many converts has *he* brought in to the church, using all the gifts of the Spirit he allegedly possesses by virtue of his great and magnificent priesthood power and high holy office and calling? For that matter, how many converts have the members of the Quorum of the Twelve and First Presidency collectively brought into the church? I bet it's less than the average Central American missionary. I seem to remember a bunch of "revelations" in the Doctrine and Covenants commanding the Q12 to get out into the world and convert people. Instead, they spend their time flying to far-flung places on private jets to berate 19-year-olds for not doing the job they themselves are supposed to do.

THIS!