A very (unintentionally) funny entry appeared on SeN today. In it, the Proprietor describes a visit to a New Zealand ranch where they were treated to a show of sheep being sheared. Dr. Peterson notes that he was impressed by the “speed” at which the wool was sheared away, but as you might guess, he was also reminded of the many biblical mentions of sheep. He writes:
I was powerfully reminded of Isaiah 53, and particularly of Isaiah 53:7, in watching the sheep being sheared today. Now, I doubt that a sheep’s facial features have much ability to indicate emotion. But I was struck by the silence, the calm, and the resignation of that sheep today. (The shearer and his boss both assured us that sheep feel no pain at the hands of a competent and experienced worker, and it certainly looked that way to me.) In any case, the words of Isaiah came immediately to my mind as we watched
“The silence, the calm, the resignation”: the complete submission to authority, or to one’s fate, in other words. For a long time, the Mopologists have objected to characterizations of LDS as unthinking “sheeple,” and yet in this rather unguarded entry, he actually seems to be *celebrating* this sort of dumbfounded acquiescence. Critics have maintained for decades that one of the chief problems with Mormon culture is the fact that the members behave exactly like the sheep being sheared: blank-faced and completely uncritical about what’s being done to them.
How interesting—and how utterly revealing—to see the Interpreter President’s mask drop. He actually seems to regard “sheepleness” with a kind of *reverence*! Very interesting! It only took 40+ years for him to admit the obvious.
"If, while hoping that everybody else will be honest and so forth, I can personally prosper through unethical and immoral acts without being detected and without risk, why should I not?." --Daniel Peterson, 6/4/14
I am dumbfounded, professor. This is the most epic reveal of Mopologetics this year by far. The implications are terrifying.
Indeed, we are like sheep getting sheered, and if we don't like it, if we don't let the intellectual crooks of Mopologetics have their way with us, if we flinch at all then that razor is sure going to cut now, isn't it?
Stay still, stay silent, and let the brethren extract their tithes or it's off to the slaughterhouse for you.
The official, formal announcement of the martyrdom of Joseph and Hyrum Smith was written by Elder John Taylor, a British member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles who was with them in Carthage Jail and was grievously wounded when the mob attacked.
“A thoughtful commenter” wrote: As I understand it, a martyr is someone who is killed because of their belief or standing up for a cause. But Joseph was killed because of his illegal actions. If only Joseph had decided to be honest and obey the law, he probably would have had a long life.
Is it historically inaccurate to call him a martyr? I get that many Mormons use martyr as a badge of honor, and the church pushes that narrative hard. This myth of Joseph being a martyr helps feed into the persecution complex many Mormons have and its hard for them to let go of it.
I suppose you could say he was a martyr. Maybe a martyr for his belief in hiding his polygamy and polyandry from being published. Maybe a martyr for his belief that he was above the law and could destroy a printing press that was printing the truth about his practices?
It’s a remarkable lack of self awareness. Extolling the virtues of being sheeplike, allowing oneself to be “sheared” without complaint, whilst simultaneously refusing to serve a senior mission. He talks the talk, he does not walk the walk.
Was just reminded of when I was called into the bishop’s office whilst at University because fellow YSA classmates were concerned that I was saying things during Sunday school. Think they were a bit shocked when I said Joseph Smith wasn't that righteous.
This is funny, it reminds of the time I was on temporary duty at Alice Springs in Australia, which, for the uninitiated is a sort of top secret joint defense listening post for the military and NSA (National Security Agency for Dr. Shades), and while stationed there, I used to take long walks, or “walkabouts” in Australian, in the outback. by the way, it’s very hot there in the Winter, our Winter, so I recommend leaving the parka in the car in case you decide to do anything like that.
Anyway, while lost walking about in the vast Australian outback, I came across a sheep shearer named Bruce, who was, quite frankly, excited to see me. I thought that was odd since we hadn’t known each other, but he was just lonely, so I guess he was excited to see anyone who shows up. To the point, Bruce was your typical Aussie bloke, spending his days shearing sheep under the scorching sun, which was weird because he has a rather large veranda ten feet away from his sheep shearing spot.
So, he decided to provide me with sheep’s milk (it was good!) and regaled me with stories of life in the outback. He revealed to me that one fateful day, after a particularly intense electrical storm, he noticed something strange. He could suddenly hear the thoughts of the sheep he was shearing!
At this point I was wondering if Bruce had lost his somewhat tenuous grasp on reality.
At first, Bruce confessed he thought he was lost his marbles. But as he continued shearing, he couldn't deny the fact that he could hear the sheep's inner monologue. "Ouch, the shears pinch!" bleated one sheep. "I hope he doesn't mess up my new haircut," worried another. Bleat bleat bleat, sheep-thought sheep-thought sheep-thought. Day after day.
Bruce said he couldn't contain his excitement. He told me that with his newfound ability, he became the talk of the town (and the sheep paddock!). He said word around Alice Springs spread like wildfire, and soon he was known as the "ESP Shearer" throughout the shire or district, whatever a regional municipality is called Down Under.
I asked Bruce what the sheep thought about his abilities. Bruce told me he soon realized that not all sheep were thrilled about having their thoughts exposed. Some were downright mischievous, plotting escape plans or poking fun at Bruce's expense. Despite the ups and downs, Bruce embraced his gift with gusto. He became the most sought-after shearer in all of middle Australia, even having a news crew fly out to do a segment on him! He was known not only for his impeccable shearing skills but also for his ability to entertain the sheep with his jokes and stories. Baaaahahaha.
But, sadly, one day as Bruce was shearing away, he overheard a sheep plotting a rebellion. "Let's all pretend to be asleep and then headbutt the fascist to death when he least expects it!" it whispered to its woolly comrades. The sheep had thoughts they never dared entertained before, “Are we being fleeced? What do we get out of this arrangement? Why are we still so poor while Bruce the Goose (Bruce didn’t like this nickname) enriches himself? Why can’t we get AC (air conditioning for Dr. Shades)?”
Bruce couldn't help but chuckle at the audacity of the sheep. With a twinkle in his eye, he leaned in and whispered back, "Nice try, mates, but Pan told me you should submit to my shears, so I can continue to spread the Good Word about his love for you to all sheep everywhere.”
The sheep thought this was wise counsel, and decided not to rebel because it was Pan’s will.
My verdict? Sheep are stupid as crap. They should wake up or something.
- Doc
Last edited by Doctor CamNC4Me on Fri Feb 16, 2024 10:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Hugh Nibley claimed he bumped into Adolf Hitler, Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill, Gertrude Stein, and the Grand Duke Vladimir Romanoff. Dishonesty is baked into Mormonism.
"...Why can’t we get AC (air conditioning for Dr. Shades)?”
My first thought was "how kind of these sheeples to put Dr. Shades' air quality so high their list of concerns..."
but then I remembered Shades' strict adherence to grammar and paid keener attention to the parentheses placement.
"...Why can’t we get AC (air conditioning for Dr. Shades)?”
My first thought was "how kind of these sheeples to put Dr. Shades' air quality so high their list of concerns..."
but then I remembered Shades' strict adherence to grammar and paid keener attention to the parentheses placement.
Impeccable, as usual.
Thank you! I suppose one could say Bruce was possessed with Extrasensory Sheep Perception.
- Doc
Hugh Nibley claimed he bumped into Adolf Hitler, Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill, Gertrude Stein, and the Grand Duke Vladimir Romanoff. Dishonesty is baked into Mormonism.
My first thought was "how kind of these sheeples to put Dr. Shades' air quality so high their list of concerns..."
but then I remembered Shades' strict adherence to grammar and paid keener attention to the parentheses placement.
Impeccable, as usual.
Thank you! I suppose one could say Bruce was possessed with Extrasensory Sheep Perception.
I could confess I started reading this thread questioning the fit of the Isaiah passage with church folks behaving as sheeples. I then thought I was just not respecting the spirit of this thread. After all it is a bit of accomplishment to inject the doldrums of sic and non with some excitement.
Letting myself be less uptight allowed me to enjoy Doc's short story, a stretcher outdoing Twain. I can imagine a real event starting that story. Without the imagination's expansion it might have remained as dusty as sic and non.
