Right off the bat we run into a major problem:A Combinatorial Approach to Modeling All Possible Golden Plates
Josh Coates
Interpreter: A Journal of Latter-day Saint Faith and Scholarship 66 (2025): 1-70
Abstract: Historical reports containing information about the properties of the golden plates provide upper and lower bounds for calculating possible configurations of their size, weight, and material composition, as well as the possible properties of reformed Egyptian. This study employs a two-part process to analyze these configurations. First, it examines the physical properties of the plates, generating over 4 billion possible combinations. Second, it analyzes the nature of the writing on the plates, assuming the translated English text of the Book of Mormon is directly representative of the reformed Egyptian engravings. This process involves calculating and filtering combinations based on historical accounts, physical constraints, and linguistic considerations. The study demonstrates that while most configurations are unworkable, nearly one million configurations remain both physically possible and consistent with the documentary record. Key findings suggest the plates likely had less than 20% gold content, weighed more than 54 lb., contained between 187 and 259 plates, and had dimensions slightly smaller than, but within 10% of, Joseph Smith’s description. The writing on the plates likely averaged less than 5 mm square, with each character representing at least three English characters, similar to Egyptian Demotic. Although there are inherent limitations in historical analysis of this kind, this mathematical approach provides a novel perspective on the physical reality of the plates.
*bzzzzt! *Oof, sorry Josh. A noble effort, but we all know that the loose translation theory is necessary to account for Joseph Smith’s lack of translation ability. Not only did he get it completely wrong on the book of Abraham, he had to use a seer stone to produce the Book of Mormon.The required analysis, for validating the physical property combinations, assumes that the translated English text of the Book of Mormon is directly representative of the reformed Egyptian engravings on the plates.
In other words, Mormon God probably didn’t even trouble himself with having any writing on the plates at all. A toddler could have written them for all it matters. Mormon God just beamed the parts of Isaiah that weren’t written yet in Mormon’s life directly to the rock in the hat.
