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Did the Nephites Use Canes?
Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2026 4:14 am
by Doctor Scratch
I cannot help but observe the Afore’s hypocrisy:
And, while I’m at it, I want to notify you of a new competition that I hope will catch your interest and inspire your involvement. The anonymous Peterson Obsession Board obsessive who goes by a pseudonym that resembles “Everybody’s WC,” a careful observer and continual commentator on all things Peterson and a person of absolutely indisputable honesty, has called the attention of his credulous audience to my dependence on a cane in Becoming Brigham, which, in his visually demonstrates the consequences of my unvarying daily diet of country fried steaks, double bacon cheeseburgers, onion rings, Krispy Kreme doughnuts, and chocolate milkshakes. So I’m very pleased to be able to announce the inaugural round of Mr. Everybody Wang Chung’s “Find the Cane!” Contest. The rules are simple: Anybody who locates a photograph or a segment in the currently extant installments of Becoming Brigham (i.e., in episodes 1-29) in which I’m shown relying on a cane will receive free lifetime online subscriptions both to Interpreter: A Journal of Latter-day Saint Faith and Scholarship and to Becoming Brigham.
Sure: okay. Why not extend the offer to Nephite artifacts? Is it okay to claim that there were Nephite horses without actual evidence? Or how about this: *I* will permanently end my posting if the Afore will admit to the deliberate hurt he’s inflicted over the years—I.e., if he admits that he wanted to cause pain to others as part of his Mopologetic goals. How’s that for a competition?**
**specifics are required.
Re: Did the Nephites Use Canes?
Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2026 4:21 am
by drumdude
I see the cane with my spiritual eyes. As sure as you see my hand so sure did I see the cane. Would anyone else like to add their witness testimony?
Re: Did the Nephites Use Canes?
Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2026 5:52 am
by Marcus
To paraphrase:
It is not unusual to have a fat man say, ‘How can I see a cane until I get one? How can I testify that a cane exists, and that its existence is true? If I have not seen such a cane, would that not be dishonest?’
Oh, if I could teach you this one principle: a cane is to be found in the mocking of it!
— Boy-Do-I Pack-in-the-Eats, in
"The Quest for Cane Knowledge"
[With my sincerest apologies, the original:]
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/stu ... e?lang=eng
Re: Did the Nephites Use Canes?
Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2026 6:48 am
by I Have Questions
I’m with Peterson on this one. Posting a comment about seeing Peterson using a cane, when it transpired he didn’t do any such thing, is lying to the board. I don’t think that’s right. Parody and spoof, fine. But make it clear that it’s parody or spoof.
Re: Did the Nephites Use Canes?
Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2026 1:23 pm
by Rivendale
Does the curse of Cain count? It was ubiquitous.
Did the Nephites Use Condoms?
Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2026 7:01 pm
by Shulem
Don't get tempted and look, Dan.
It's better than sex!
Yep, better than sex!
Re: Did the Nephites Use Canes?
Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2026 1:45 am
by Gadianton
Several good comments. I find it plausible that a cane was used. Science discovers new things all the time, and just because somebody hasn't rushed to post a screenshot doesn't mean one will never be posted. In fact, they'll just claim it's AI so what's really the point? Reasonable people can disagree. I for one will error on side of belief rather than doubt.
Re: Did the Nephites Use Canes?
Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2026 2:25 am
by Doctor Scratch
Canes aren’t necessarily used only for medical reasons. They can be decorative, such as in the case of Mr. Peanut. I can’t help but wonder why the Afore seemingly takes such issue with the idea of using a cane.
Re: Did the Nephites Use Canes?
Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2026 2:32 am
by Gadianton
Doctor Scratch wrote: ↑Wed Aug 12, 2026 2:25 am
Canes aren’t necessarily used only for medical reasons. They can be decorative, such as in the case of Mr. Peanut. I can’t help but wonder why the Afore seemingly takes such issue with the idea of using a cane.
A fancy one, along with a monocle, could also be used to to signal social status or authority. Brigham Young himself walked with a cane made from the wood of Joseph's coffin. So to me it's plausible largely based on a desire to bill oneself as important.
side note: canes can also be used in a threatening manner.
Re: Did the Nephites Use Canes?
Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2026 3:32 am
by canpakes
Gadianton wrote: ↑Wed Aug 12, 2026 2:32 am
Brigham Young himself walked with a cane made from the wood of Joseph's coffin.
Of note, Brigham’s was fashioned in such a manner as to be able to do double duty as a javelin.