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I assume that Latter-day Saint husbands are called to be the spiritual leader in the home/family like most other non-LDS Christian families.

If so, what does this typically look like in an LDS home/family?

I observed many fathers cosplaying as Bruce R. McConkie. The kids that resulted from such parenting were not well.

I believe that parents should be good examples for their kids. I don’t believe that parents have fundamentally different spiritual roles to play in the home. Everyone is called to follow Christ as their model. How is that divided into different genders? It isn’t.

Stuff about men/husbands/fathers being leaders is in Scripture, all right. My views are shaped by the first letter of Peter.

In 1 Peter 2:18 and following, Peter wrote:Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. [Text continues for several verses, to the end of the chapter.]

In 1 Peter 3:1, Peter then wrote:Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands ... [Text continues for several more verses; emphasis added.]

The inspired text itself explicitly says that it preaches subservience of wives to husbands in the same way that it preaches subservience of slaves to masters. Slavery was an accepted institution of the epistle's place and time, but it was an abomination from which humans had to escape. We no longer take any scriptural injunctions for slaves to obey masters to mean that slaves should actually obey masters today. The many 19th-century upholders of slavery who quoted those Scripture texts about slaves submitting to masters are only embarrassments now to anyone who wants to revere holy Scripture.

Whatever they may have been in their time, the Biblical teachings about men outranking women are as wrong and inapplicable now as the analogous teachings about slaves and masters. The texts themselves say that the two issues are directly analogous. So if you insist on male superiority because it is Biblical, then you must support slavery, too. If you don't accept slavery, in spite of those Biblical verses, then you must also be able to accept gender equality, in spite of the Bible.

I don't really get the question, I'm somewhat familiar with Evangelical culture but it's been a long time. Imagine the dad in Leave it to Beaver or Father Knows Best. On top of that, in addition to being the "family advisor" as it is, what would make the dad a "spiritual leader"?

I guess what I'm saying is that the baseline traditional role for good ole dad irrespective of belief in America and a lot of other places is already what I'd think of as a "spiritual advisor" in addition to everything else. Even in an atheist home, a father might be a spiritual advisor if a kid is showing interest in religion and the father wants to give options without demanding conformance.

Since Mormons think the father is the "patriarch" of the household in training to become a God, it's kind of hard to imagine that Mormon dads aren't called to be spiritual advisors.

Gadianton wrote: ↑

Sat Oct 10, 2026 4:00 pm

I don't really get the question, I'm somewhat familiar with Evangelical culture but it's been a long time. Imagine the dad in Leave it to Beaver or Father Knows Best. On top of that, in addition to being the "family advisor" as it is, what would make the dad a "spiritual leader"?

I guess what I'm saying is that the baseline traditional role for good ole dad irrespective of belief in America and a lot of other places is already what I'd think of as a "spiritual advisor" in addition to everything else. Even in an atheist home, a father might be a spiritual advisor if a kid is showing interest in religion and the father wants to give options without demanding conformance.

Since Mormons think the father is the "patriarch" of the household in training to become a God, it's kind of hard to imagine that Mormon dads aren't called to be spiritual advisors.

I agree that atheist parents can and should be good models of moral living.

msnobody wrote: ↑

Sat Oct 10, 2026 1:01 am

I assume that Latter-day Saint husbands are called to be the spiritual leader in the home/family like most other non-LDS Christian families.

If so, what does this typically look like in an LDS home/family?

Well my LDS father encouraged us all to read, ask questions, learn from many sources, and be not conformed.

Fathers naturally have a spiritual leadership for children. Of course mothers do as well. That would apply for all sorts of Christians and other folks as well I think.

huckelberry wrote: ↑

Sat Oct 10, 2026 5:54 pm

msnobody wrote: ↑

Sat Oct 10, 2026 1:01 am

I assume that Latter-day Saint husbands are called to be the spiritual leader in the home/family like most other non-LDS Christian families.

If so, what does this typically look like in an LDS home/family?

Well my LDS father encouraged us all to read, ask questions, learn from many sources, and be not conformed.

Fathers naturally have a spiritual leadership for children. Of course mothers do as well. That would apply for all sorts of Christians and other folks as well I think.

I think that within the LDS context the father being a spiritual leader and mother being a spiritual leader are intertwined. They both ought to be working together for the benefit of their children in ways that lead their children towards greater good and knowledge so that they can survive and thrive in the world.

Probably not much difference than any other father being a role model of virtue, hard work, charity, etc.

Regards,
MG

msnobody wrote: ↑

Sat Oct 10, 2026 1:01 am

I assume that Latter-day Saint husbands are called to be the spiritual leader in the home/family like most other non-LDS Christian families.

If so, what does this typically look like in an LDS home/family?

I think this topic is another example of how society has lead and the Church has, begrudgingly and belatedly, followed. It used to be that the Church promoted a family unit where people got married young (they even used to suggest a criteria (this was as recently as the late 80’s) for who to choose as a spouse - same race, similar economic background, and absolutely same religion), had lots of kids straight away, the man went out to work, the woman stayed at home. Very 1950’s America.

Of course, society moved on. Women started entering the work places in bigger numbers, economies changed and wage balance changed and so people started delaying getting married, delayed having children, and started having fewer children. The Church gradually changed its stance. It softened it and it became more ambiguous. They were still desperately trying to tell people to get married young and have lots of kids straight away, and that women should stay at home, but in coded terms. It didn’t work and the shift towards an equal society with sensible marriage and child decisions marched on.

And now, because the Church’s best source of new members was existing members having kids, they are getting a little desperate to go back to the old model. They’ve gone as far as levelling up the age for serving missions for young men and young women and have openly encouraged those serving missions to use that time, in part, to find a spouse that they can marry as soon as they finish their missions.

They’ve gone Church does not have the best interest of those young people at heart. At least that’s not the primary objective. The primary objective is to get young people to go straight from their mission into a marriage with kids with another Mormon. They are trying to plug the gap where young people come off their mission as a singleton and start to grow up and start thinking for themselves.

One only need look at any General Conference list of speakers to see clearly that the Church is still very much a Patriarchy. That the pattern is for men to lead and their wives to support their man, much like an intern. It’s a dog whistle for how men should operate in the home. For another example, in Church profile terms, Wendy Nelson became a nobody overnight when her husband died.

I Have Questions wrote: ↑

Sun Oct 11, 2026 12:34 am

msnobody wrote: ↑

Sat Oct 10, 2026 1:01 am

I assume that Latter-day Saint husbands are called to be the spiritual leader in the home/family like most other non-LDS Christian families.

If so, what does this typically look like in an LDS home/family?

I think this topic is another example of how society has lead and the Church has, begrudgingly and belatedly, followed. It used to be that the Church promoted a family unit where people got married young (they even used to suggest a criteria (this was as recently as the late 80’s) for who to choose as a spouse - same race, similar economic background, and absolutely same religion), had lots of kids straight away, the man went out to work, the woman stayed at home. Very 1950’s America.

Of course, society moved on. Women started entering the work places in bigger numbers, economies changed and wage balance changed and so people started delaying getting married, delayed having children, and started having fewer children. The Church gradually changed its stance. It softened it and it became more ambiguous. They were still desperately trying to tell people to get married young and have lots of kids straight away, and that women should stay at home, but in coded terms. It didn’t work and the shift towards an equal society with sensible marriage and child decisions marched on.

And now, because the Church’s best source of new members was existing members having kids, they are getting a little desperate to go back to the old model. They’ve gone as far as levelling up the age for serving missions for young men and young women and have openly encouraged those serving missions to use that time, in part, to find a spouse that they can marry as soon as they finish their missions.

They’ve gone Church does not have the best interest of those young people at heart. At least that’s not the primary objective. The primary objective is to get young people to go straight from their mission into a marriage with kids with another Mormon. They are trying to plug the gap where young people come off their mission as a singleton and start to grow up and start thinking for themselves.

One only need look at any General Conference list of speakers to see clearly that the Church is still very much a Patriarchy. That the pattern is for men to lead and their wives to support their man, much like an intern. It’s a dog whistle for how men should operate in the home.

The world will always have its cynics.

Regards,
MG