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Re: Church discontinues Saturday Evening Conference Sessions
Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2021 5:45 am
by Res Ipsa
Moksha wrote: ↑Thu Jul 29, 2021 3:01 am
Dr Moore wrote: ↑Wed Jul 28, 2021 5:45 pm
Why sit still when you can get 2 revelations out of a hokey pokey stanza?
Do you mean the wisdom on putting your right foot in, your right foot out, then shaking it all about?
That’s what it’s all about.
Re: Church discontinues Saturday Evening Conference Sessions
Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2021 3:49 pm
by Reflexzero
consiglieri wrote: ↑Wed Jul 28, 2021 10:51 pm
The second announcement occurred before the cheers from the first had died away.
Next conference: “We felt strongly that perhaps there was too much joy being expressed by the membership, rather than an appropriate sadness at the loss of a great opportunity to sit at the feat of anointed servants of the Lord. We considered the permutations and possible punishments that would serve to improve the morale of the members of the church, and then we pleaded mightily in fervent prayer to know if we could turn the screws of faith ever so tighter.”
Re: Church discontinues Saturday Evening Conference Sessions
Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2021 7:00 pm
by Dwight
Depending on how salty Nelson is feeling we may get to hear the true story. We know that Nelson kicks Wendy out of the bedroom when he communes with god. My guess is Wendy got up in the night to use the bathroom, or a midnight snack, whichever way she was absent but unaware that returning to the bedroom was temporarily off limits. Nelson woke up and finding himself alone was able to begin to receive revelation. The message came clearly “since everyone can watch the Saturday evening session regardless of it being priesthood or for women you should stop…” Just then Wendy was back in the room and the heavens were shut. Nelson got mad and though Wendy repented and begged forgiveness of Nelson and god Nelson took a while to soften his heart. I mean how can the prophet of the lord who was a heart surgeon work if his wife is around. Blessed be the world for within seven weeks he had repented and the heavens were open once again, with Wendy safely outside of the bedroom with explicit instructions to not return until permitted. God could finish his message “so as I was saying, you should stop making it special and make it a general session like all the others.”