In Which Res Ipsa Abandons the Illusion of Control Over What People Post In a Thread f/k/a Thinking About ...

[honorentheos]

Is the use of the word asshole in the context of this thread actually a nod to feminism? And if it is a nod to feminism, why lean over into using male insults towards a female? Is this a function of attempted feminism or simply a case of someone who doesn't know their bitch from their asshole?

We (meaning in real life associates and myself) do not gender the two anymore.

An asshole is someone who behaves aggressively and arrogantly in a way that lacks regard for the way others might be hurt by doing so. It's often intended to hurt, in fact.

A bitch is someone who complains in an aggressive, arrogant and overly sensitive manner. It isn't necessarily intended to hurt as it's intended to protect the self.

Assholes often know they are being assholes but justify it by believing they are doing what others won't or can't do. They do wrong for the sake of right, in their minds. The ends justify the means. Bitches usually think they are justified and often fail to see they are behaving poorly. They think they are in the right, period.

When someone reacts because their feelings are hurt, they're being a bitch. When someone jumps down someone's throat to enforce something they think someone else is getting wrong they are being an asshole.

We all venture into this area on occasion and display personality traits I think align more regularly with one or the other. But we all behave like either one on occasion. It's flavor more than well-defined. I think bitch implies more emotion and defensiveness is involved where being an asshole involves more assertive, offensive behavior.

You, Jersey Girl, typically dive into asshole-dom when you go this direction. I've acknowledged I was choosing to be the asshole when I chose to first post in these threads a few days ago.

ETA: it's definitely not progressive given it's based on gender stereotypes. But I do think of asshole as very non-gendered. People are assholes. Puppies are not. I really don't use the term bitch to describe someone, though. I'd be tempted to call Chap one, definitely more likely than I'd call you or Lem one.

[Res Ipsa]

Is the use of the word asshole in the context of this thread actually a nod to feminism? And if it is a nod to feminism, why lean over into using male insults towards a female? Is this a function of attempted feminism or simply a case of someone who doesn't know their bitch from their asshole?

We (meaning in real life associates and myself) do not gender the two anymore.

An asshole is someone who behaves aggressively and arrogantly in a way that lacks regard for the way others might be hurt by doing so. It's often intended to hurt, in fact.

A bitch is someone who complains in an aggressive, arrogant and overly sensitive manner. It isn't necessarily intended to hurt as it's intended to protect the self.

Assholes often know they are being assholes but justify it by believing they are doing what others won't or can't do. They do wrong for the sake of right, in their minds. The ends justify the means. Bitches usually think they are justified and often fail to see they are behaving poorly. They think they are in the right, period.

When someone reacts because their feelings are hurt, they're being a bitch. When someone jumps down someone's throat to enforce something they think someone else is getting wrong they are being an asshole.

<snip>

Huh. I’m not sure I’ve seen an attempt to define those terms in that detail. I think most people figure out the meaning by the context in which they see or hear them being used.

Just based on my own personal experience, I think that “asshole” and “bitch” were gendered terms in the past. I would have described its meaning in more general as “man or woman whose behavior really pisses me off.” But when used, the epithet referred to a type of person.

Over time, I’ve noticed “bitch” used less and less in this way and “asshole” becoming less gendered. I still hear forms of “bitch” used a few different ways, none of them gendered. One is something like “complaining that pisses me off.” Another is person over whom I have power. “He’s my bitch now.” A third is “We’re going to Mars, bitches.” Or “Science, bitches.” Might relate to the second, or a phrase used as part of a comedy routine in a way that stuck, at least for a while.

As for the other term Jersey mentioned, I’ve read that term or an alternative spelling of it here (DM and MD) more than I have heard it used in decades. I suspect it’s always been considered beyond the pale in circles where I work or hang out.

I do remember a kid from third grade who had a short temper. When he lost it, he’d unleash a string of cussing that would put sailors to shame. And it was always the same words in the same order, almost like a little ritual. That word was in there. It was pretty shocking the first few times I heard him go off. After that it was more like: there goes Kenny again….

[dantana]

Well, there is always 'schmuck'. It doesn't carry the weight of 'asshole' but basically means the same thing. It could easily also mean ignorant, arrogant, know-it-all, blow-hard, dip-crap... with a bad case of DK disease. It's a good word to use if one want to play it safe. There aren't any on here right now, but a few have crossed the boards in years past. Utah Tex, Tobin.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schmuck_(pejorative)

[Molok]

I’ve been summoned. So, Jersey Girl, here’s your answer: I called you an asshole because you are one, and I’ve thought that of you for over a decade. In the entirety of my life, any person who describes themselves as blunt, or as someone who is just “telling it like it is”, is an asshole who uses that as an excuse for treating people like crap. You were trying to pick a fight with SS, and if you say you weren’t you’re lying. I’ll never believe otherwise.

To any response you or anyone else might make to this post: “F” off, I don’t care.