What a painful and beautiful story, GIMR. I just read through it now for the first time (and also your post on the other board). I remember other posts you've written about purely Mormon experiences, too, and now adding all those together in my head I'm pretty much wordless with admiration.
I'm also suprised to learn that you are much younger than I thought. Its funny, there are so many posters here who have a kind of "gravity" and thoughtfulness that I would think needed many more years to achieve.
Imaginary Friends, Indeed
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_Doctor Steuss
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_Sam Harris
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Hey All,
I really appreciate the responses you've given, and the playing around, Book of Mormon, you're a fox, be careful, Bond might snatch you up into his area of the lair here....
I've decided to take a hiatus. I got some really good news from the doc (the pain is just really suck a** painful migraines...I can deal with that), so I'm going to start putting the pieces back together again. School will start again soon, hopefully, if my university doesn't decide to halt my financial aid because I owe them money from the summer. Bamas, they told me I had aid coming, so I registered for a class, and dropped it a day too late. Humph.
I may drop in later, but I've just decided to chill for a while. I really am not impressed with some of what I've seen go on here these past few weeks, and I'm tired of feeling that because I believe in the supernatural, I have to be this knock-kneed weak-assed person who cannot think for herself. I am far from that. I don't have my beliefs because I'm afraid. It is true, you can't prove the supernatural. And I am tired of having to fight the perception that I'm this raving Bible-thumping fundamentalist who thinks all those not like herself are going to burn in eternal torment. I don't believe this at all. But I must wear this construct because otherwise the vitriol of those who violently oppose my beliefs wouldn't make much sense, would it? But in the world of no consequence, something as simple as two wrongs not making a right doesn't really matter.
I know that I blow off a lot, because inside I think too much. So I come across as an idiot, because I don't care to spend my time trying to prove that I'm more intelligent than whathisface, when in reality, we're playing on the biggest encyclopedia in the world, and anyone can be a genius here. Like I care if you think I'm stupid; when you spend a lifetime having people misconstrue you, after a while you can't do anything other than smile at it. Being called unintelligent is the same as being called beautiful to me now. "Weak" is a different matter, but dumb...no. I know better. So forgive me if I haven't taken some of you as seriously as I ought to have. And some of you, with your random psychological craps all over the board...well, what did you expect? Seriously...
I'm not really retreating among the world of the religious, either. They don't have a place for me. I don't agree 100% with them. It's as if no matter what, if you choose to question anything, you're going to be seen as a fool by those who question nothing, yet think they question everything (got that?).
There are some really cool people on here. But I think the dynamic of the board has changed, and my niche has been whittled away. Example: Spirituality having to be an external thing, and religion having to be a "false construct". Says who? Why must one person's bad experiences color the whole world?
I took a class last year called Worldviews. I'm glad I took that class, because it has helped me to understand some of the more violent people on here, and it has helped me to appreciate the more peaceful people here (from all walks of life), and how in tact their worldviews are.
The few who have beef with me can criticize my source, but my point is that I think that every worldview is flawed in one way or another, some more than others. And it is wrong to say off the bat that, "oh, the athiest POV is wrong because I'm a Christian, and the Bible says this," or "the Christian POV is wrong because I read the Old Testament". We could go on and on and take it to a whole new level with different faiths. Why bother? Seriously. I don't, and I'm not ashamed of that. Let my pastor question me, let my churchmembers shun me, so what? It's happened before. I don't live for them. I live for me and what I think is right. And right now I don't really feel that I fit in here anymore. I don't have issues with the church, I don't need to dredge up what happened back then. I get really pissed when I see the few trolls here abusing every LDS they see, and I don't want to fight every day. I kind of hope they fall into a mud pit, but that's just me. What discussions there are right now, I can't contribute to, and life's about to get busy.
So I'm off to find another board that has a little more to do with muggles and wizards and less to do with religion. I'd rather not discuss the subject at all right now.
If it doesn't offend you for me to say this, be blessed. If not, win the lottery.
Tschuss,
GIMR
I really appreciate the responses you've given, and the playing around, Book of Mormon, you're a fox, be careful, Bond might snatch you up into his area of the lair here....
I've decided to take a hiatus. I got some really good news from the doc (the pain is just really suck a** painful migraines...I can deal with that), so I'm going to start putting the pieces back together again. School will start again soon, hopefully, if my university doesn't decide to halt my financial aid because I owe them money from the summer. Bamas, they told me I had aid coming, so I registered for a class, and dropped it a day too late. Humph.
I may drop in later, but I've just decided to chill for a while. I really am not impressed with some of what I've seen go on here these past few weeks, and I'm tired of feeling that because I believe in the supernatural, I have to be this knock-kneed weak-assed person who cannot think for herself. I am far from that. I don't have my beliefs because I'm afraid. It is true, you can't prove the supernatural. And I am tired of having to fight the perception that I'm this raving Bible-thumping fundamentalist who thinks all those not like herself are going to burn in eternal torment. I don't believe this at all. But I must wear this construct because otherwise the vitriol of those who violently oppose my beliefs wouldn't make much sense, would it? But in the world of no consequence, something as simple as two wrongs not making a right doesn't really matter.
I know that I blow off a lot, because inside I think too much. So I come across as an idiot, because I don't care to spend my time trying to prove that I'm more intelligent than whathisface, when in reality, we're playing on the biggest encyclopedia in the world, and anyone can be a genius here. Like I care if you think I'm stupid; when you spend a lifetime having people misconstrue you, after a while you can't do anything other than smile at it. Being called unintelligent is the same as being called beautiful to me now. "Weak" is a different matter, but dumb...no. I know better. So forgive me if I haven't taken some of you as seriously as I ought to have. And some of you, with your random psychological craps all over the board...well, what did you expect? Seriously...
I'm not really retreating among the world of the religious, either. They don't have a place for me. I don't agree 100% with them. It's as if no matter what, if you choose to question anything, you're going to be seen as a fool by those who question nothing, yet think they question everything (got that?).
There are some really cool people on here. But I think the dynamic of the board has changed, and my niche has been whittled away. Example: Spirituality having to be an external thing, and religion having to be a "false construct". Says who? Why must one person's bad experiences color the whole world?
I took a class last year called Worldviews. I'm glad I took that class, because it has helped me to understand some of the more violent people on here, and it has helped me to appreciate the more peaceful people here (from all walks of life), and how in tact their worldviews are.
A worldview is a commitment, a fundamental orientation of the heart, that can be expressed as a story or in a set of presuppositions (assumptions which may be true, partially true, or entirely false) which we hold (consciously or subconsciously, consistenly or inconsistently) about the basic constitution of reality, and that provides the foundation on which we live and move and have our being.
-James W. Sire, The Universe Next Door
The few who have beef with me can criticize my source, but my point is that I think that every worldview is flawed in one way or another, some more than others. And it is wrong to say off the bat that, "oh, the athiest POV is wrong because I'm a Christian, and the Bible says this," or "the Christian POV is wrong because I read the Old Testament". We could go on and on and take it to a whole new level with different faiths. Why bother? Seriously. I don't, and I'm not ashamed of that. Let my pastor question me, let my churchmembers shun me, so what? It's happened before. I don't live for them. I live for me and what I think is right. And right now I don't really feel that I fit in here anymore. I don't have issues with the church, I don't need to dredge up what happened back then. I get really pissed when I see the few trolls here abusing every LDS they see, and I don't want to fight every day. I kind of hope they fall into a mud pit, but that's just me. What discussions there are right now, I can't contribute to, and life's about to get busy.
So I'm off to find another board that has a little more to do with muggles and wizards and less to do with religion. I'd rather not discuss the subject at all right now.
If it doesn't offend you for me to say this, be blessed. If not, win the lottery.
Tschuss,
GIMR
Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances. -Ghandi