Gunnar wrote:I find the whole idea of Christ's atonement both irrational and abhorrent. There is no sense or justice in the idea that an innocent and totally blameless being has to be cruelly tortured to death before anyone else, however repentant, can be forgiven for one's sins. One critic, whose name I forgot, brilliantly described the atonement (paraphrased) as God having to sacrifice himself to himself to save us from punishment that he himself was going inflict upon us, even if we repented, unless we acknowledged his sacrifice. Is it really so hard to understand why reasonable people would find this absurd?
While TBM, I tried to approach the weekly sacrament with an honest heart, but my damn honest heart taught me that it was absurd to think I was ever going to be truly repentant, it was an impossible aspiration, in my opinion. If your being is built to sin, believing that the renewal of baptismal covenants would cleanse me, only to have to return week after week, because damn, I sinned again and again ... it just became one big circle jerk in my mind.
I dunno, maybe I wouldn't have been overcome with cognitive dissonance if the message was, "Don't worry, you are always going to sin and you will apply the sacrament imperfectly." If they hinted just a little, for those of us that saw the absurdity of the atonement (see quote above) that this was just a neat-o ancient game we play to remind us that we are sinners. "Do your best (but you probably won't because you are a sinner), you shouldn't take it too seriously, just play along and remember you are a sinner. Everybody sing along ... You are here, you are queer, but don't fear, cause Jesus dear." (I'm not gay, I'm just saying all sinners are queer, we are all queer in our individual sinner ways, and I needed the word queer for my little ditty.)
I mean, what's the deal with TBMs that are trying to work it honestly, don't they know they have blind spots, and by their very nature (hidden) they are blind to those spots(sins). And if not one sin can go unaccounted for, what the actual f&ck, it is absurd. Does Jesus give you mulligans for the things you don't know you are doing wrong?