You are admitting that ghosting could cause trauma.
Now, just to clarify, I don't think I have trauma, but if I do, the ghosting contributed a lot.
You are admitting that ghosting could cause trauma.
No.doubtingthomas wrote: ↑Sat Apr 01, 2023 12:24 amBut there wasn't a 30 to 60 percent ratio of single young women and men back then. Young men had more options, and you didn't have to compete on dating apps.
Interesting choice of words: "the ghosting game." The author who wrote about her study gave no indication that anyone was playing "ghosting" as a game. But I have read about PUA culture, which does use "ghosting" as one of many tools to manipulate women. That sounds like a ghosting game to me. In fact, if I recall correctly, you discussed on this message board potentially using ghosting as a game with one of the LDS women you'd been talking to.doubtingthomas wrote: ↑Sat Apr 01, 2023 3:07 amHave you helped a woman a lot who later stopped talking to you? Have you saved a woman's life who later stopped talking to you?True. A woman has the right to stop talking to you at any point, even if you helped her a lot or saved her life.
However, women shouldn't be playing the ghosting game. If a woman no longer wishes to keep talking to a guy, she should just tell him.
This sounds like fishing for an excuse to maintain your strong resentment of women who have rejected your romantic advances in the past. In large part, it's all about how you handle rejection. About half of people in the study viewed being ghosted as a chance to develop resiliency and self reliance. Our society on the whole does a pretty poor job teaching young folks how to handle rejection -- especially young men. Ghosting could just as easily be adopted by society as an appropriate way to end an online relationship, in which case it would have no more impact than the emoji I suggested.doubtingthomas wrote:Getting ghosted a lot could be bad for your mental health. Right? It might be doing a lot of damage.
So? Who said it was? Harassment in general is a course of unwelcome conduct directed toward a person. It it an intentional disregard of their personal autonomy. Ignoring someone is not intrusive or a disregard of the other person's autonomy.doubtingthomas wrote:Not all sexual harassment is obvious and doesn't involve physical touch.
And it could not be contributing. So?doubtingthomas wrote:Why is sexual harassment not the same as ghosting people? The damage to your mental health could be similar.[/quotes] See above. Yes, and God could be real. This kind of speculation is what leads me to think this is more about feeling good about your past conduct or giving yourself permission to engage in poor conduct.
True, it could be contributing to the rise of mental illness in the US.
They are telling you they no longer want to talk to you by no longer talking to you.doubtingthomas wrote: ↑Sat Apr 01, 2023 3:07 amHowever, women shouldn't be playing the ghosting game. If a woman no longer wishes to keep talking to a guy, she should just tell him.
Er, yes. You may not think it kind, but many women's experience tells them that explaining nicely to a guy that they don't want to hear from him any more just leads inevitably to ... (surprise!) continuing to talk to the guy in question. If later they simply stop replying, the guy gets upset, demands more explanation of why the woman does not find talking to them an attractive option, and so on and so forth.Doctor Steuss wrote: ↑Mon Apr 03, 2023 2:45 pmThey are telling you they no longer want to talk to you by no longer talking to you.doubtingthomas wrote: ↑Sat Apr 01, 2023 3:07 amHowever, women shouldn't be playing the ghosting game. If a woman no longer wishes to keep talking to a guy, she should just tell him.
Exactly.Chap wrote: ↑Mon Apr 03, 2023 6:21 pmEr, yes. You may not think it kind, but many women's experience tells them that explaining nicely to a guy that they don't want to hear from him any more just leads inevitably to ... (surprise!) continuing to talk to the guy in question. If later they simply stop replying, the guy gets upset, demands more explanation of why the woman does not find talking to them an attractive option, and so on and so forth.Doctor Steuss wrote: ↑Mon Apr 03, 2023 2:45 pm
They are telling you they no longer want to talk to you by no longer talking to you.
It's easier to just stop, and leave it at that.
Yup.Chap wrote: ↑Mon Apr 03, 2023 6:21 pmEr, yes. You may not think it kind, but many women's experience tells them that explaining nicely to a guy that they don't want to hear from him any more just leads inevitably to ... (surprise!) continuing to talk to the guy in question. If later they simply stop replying, the guy gets upset, demands more explanation of why the woman does not find talking to them an attractive option, and so on and so forth.Doctor Steuss wrote: ↑Mon Apr 03, 2023 2:45 pm
They are telling you they no longer want to talk to you by no longer talking to you.
It's easier to just stop, and leave it at that.
On the bolded sentence. If a woman tells a guy she finds him boring and/or repellent, she is taking a considerable risk: he might go ballistic with rage and abuse online, or he may start trying to find her in real life so she can be punished for her 'disrespectful' attitude.Gadianton wrote: ↑Tue Apr 04, 2023 3:41 amBelieve me, if young men are traumatized over girls disappearing, they're going to get committed to a ward if they get what they're demanding: the girl truthfully explaining why she's not interested. You think these oversensitive video-game addicts are going to appreciate being told they are too fat, or too thin, or have an ugly face, or bad breath, or act like weirdos?
No. they will scream abuse and call the FBI if that happens. They want to put the girl between a rock and a hard place -- she has tell the weirdo guy that she's not interested but abstractly. She can't tell him the truth, she has to say he's a great guy and absolutely nothing wrong with him but maybe she just didn't feel that connection, or maybe she's not ready for anything more. It has to be something that doesn't hurt his feelings or she's mean, but anything like that can reasonably be disputed.
Getting rid of unwanted attention is an old enough problem that it was a trope in Shakespeare's day, and no doubt in Homer's. I think most men today still know how to take a hint and exit decently like Benedick and Balthasar. Disappointment hurts but you face it and move on. What may be new is the ease with which that one guy who just won't accept No can keep on bedeviling a woman electronically.in Much Ado About Nothing II:i, Shakespeare wrote:BENEDICK Well, I would you did like me.
MARGARET So would not I for your own sake, for I have many ill qualities.
BENEDICK Which is one?
MARGARET I say my prayers aloud.
BENEDICK I love you the better; the hearers may cry “Amen.”
MARGARET God match me with a good dancer.
[They separate; Benedick moves aside; Balthasar moves forward.]
BALTHASAR Amen.
MARGARET And God keep him out of my sight when the
dance is done. Answer, clerk.
BALTHASAR No more words. The clerk is answered.