The DoubtingThomas dating / relationships MEGATHREAD

[_honorentheos]

I tend to favor this board because of the open and often higher level discussions than what one finds on the web in open forums. It's an unusual place. So I appreciate both the right to respond to DT as one sees fit, and to assert motives for doing so that others might dislike. I'm not sure how one inherently goes about expanding one's own view without others calling attention to how they see things. So, in a word, thanks.

Very true. But it is only name-calling from Lemmie. EAllusion has done a much better job, but hopefully he can give me some references.

Your thread was originally claiming half of all women are unattractive.

I think her decision that your name calling deserved a strong and in kind response is understandable. Every statement you make about women in general repeats the same offense. Again, you should stop.

You'd do better to accept you screwed up, apologize, and stop talking about women like they can be explained using statistics and studies. Or better still, stop taking about women full stop. I mean, you're complicated by your own explanation. Maybe that's true of everyone....and maybe you can reflect on that for a bit and learn. People are people, first, last, and always.

[Guest]

I think her decision that your name calling deserved a strong and in kind response is understandable. Every statement you make about women in general repeats the same offense. Again, you should stop.

I understand. I am sorry for my offensive comments and title (I did change it). I do think most women are attractive. I said, "I use Mormon Discussions as a punching bag when I am sad or mad." I didn't discriminate based on gender, the numbers (the graph) I used in the opening post were much worse for men. I do think women are generally better than men.

and stop talking about women like they can be explained using statistics and studies.

That is what happens when you feel lonely. You look for an explanation. If I go to the bar by myself, nobody looks at me. In the bar there are groups of people and you are never invited to join. I never have fun in the weekend, I am like the invisible man everywhere I go. I am just a nobody and nobody cares. Work is like a prison (I am not working right now, but I am okay) and I honestly don't have time to talk to people during lunch, so I go outside to get some Vitamin D. But looking at things positively 2020 has been much friendlier. I do look at the statistics, but I don't treat women like objects in real life. I am a really friendly guy when I can.

mean, you're complicated by your own explanation. Maybe that's true of everyone....and maybe you can reflect on that for a bit and learn. People are people, first, last, and always.

I understand.

[_Jersey Girl]

Lemmie said, it's important to her to identify and call out sexist remarks because to turn a blind eye to it makes it somehow acceptable and ultimately normalizes it.

Jersey Girl, the name-calling won't help. I am just trying to go after the facts and the truth. So I would really appriciate if others can explain why my comments are sexists. Would it be sexist to say that women have more empathy (in general) than men? Why? Is is sexist to try to understand human psychology and evolution? Why?

Contrary to what you may believe to be true about me, I don't have unlimited reserves of patience for adults. Children, yes. Adults, no. Just remember I said that. I'm going to let someone else do part of the talking here. I'm not going to identify who it is.

Jersey Girl, the name-calling won't help.

Ignore it.

I am just trying to go after the facts and the truth.

Okay, fine. Did you notice that when you post something from an article or study and attach that to your thinking about relationships that you get push back here? It's not because people don't like you. It's because the stuff you're allowing to influence you is BS.

"We get so wrapped up in numbers in our society. The most important thing is that we are able to be one-to-one, you and I with each other at the moment. If we can be present to the moment with the person that we happen to be with, that's what's important."

So I would really appriciate if others can explain why my comments are sexists.

Many of us already have. Myself included.

Would it be sexist to say that women have more empathy (in general) than men?

I think that Jersey Girl seems to have quite a lot of empathy. That's how you say it.

Why?

Because women are individuals. Example: You are unlike honor. You are unlike Cam. You are unlike Shades. You are YOU.

"We all have different gifts, so we all have different ways of saying to the world who we are."


"As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has- or ever will have- something inside that is unique to all time. It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression."


Is is sexist to try to understand human psychology and evolution? Why?

Understanding human psychology and evolution are valuable but they don't create relationships. You do.

"You can't really love someone else unless you really love yourself first."

"Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now."

"You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are."

"Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in the other's achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain."

[_Jersey Girl]

For fun.

I think that Jersey Girl seems to have quite a lot of empathy though I remember that time she called faqs a little idiot when she lost patience with his ass.

[_DoubtingThomas]

For fun.

I think that Jersey Girl seems to have quite a lot of empathy though I remember that time she called faqs a little ____ when she lost patience with his ass.

Well, faqs is probably not a human being ;)

[Guest]

Contrary to what you may believe to be true about me, I don't have unlimited reserves of patience for adults. Children, yes. Adults, no. Just remember I said that. I'm going to let someone else do part of the talking here. I'm not going to identify who it is.

But I can tell that you are a good person.

"You can't really love someone else unless you really love yourself first."[/i]

I do love myself.

Because women are individuals. Example: You are unlike honor. You are unlike Cam. You are unlike Shades. You are YOU.

I understand Jersey Girl, but in real life I am not the problem. The problem is that I don't have real friends. I did try to do what suggested, but it is not easy to find a club or something, and not right now. I admit I haven't done community service.

[_Jersey Girl]

For fun.

I think that Jersey Girl seems to have quite a lot of empathy though I remember that time she called faqs a little ____ when she lost patience with his ass.

Well, faqs is probably not a human being ;)

Yeah, I bet if you roll over to Psychology Today you can find that study where researchers tried to determine what percentage of Jersey Girl's use the word idiot, how frequently and what prompts it.

Conclusion: Hell, we don't know. Just don't piss them off!

[_Jersey Girl]

I understand Jersey Girl. Here is what I told honorentheos

That is what happens when you feel lonely. You look for an explanation. If I go to the bar by myself, nobody looks at me. In the bar there are groups of people and you are never invited to join. I never have fun in the weekend, I am like the invisible man everywhere I go. I am just a nobody and nobody cares. Work is like a prison (I am not working right now, but I am okay) and I honestly don't have time to talk to people during lunch, so I go outside to get some Vitamin D. But looking at things positively 2020 has been much friendlier. I do look at the statistics, but I don't treat women like objects in real life. I am a really friendly guy when I can.

Yes, I read that. You're not going anywhere right now. Nobody is.

Tell me how has 2020 been much friendlier?

[Guest]

Tell me how has 2020 been much friendlier?

Well, I did get to meet some new people and I went out on a date with a girl. So there is some progress.

Edit: I did go out with two girls, just as friends.

[_DoubtingThomas]

Yeah, I bet if you roll over to Psychology Today you can find that study where researchers tried to determine what percentage of Jersey Girl's use the word ____, how frequently and what prompts it.

Conclusion: Hell, we don't know. Just don't piss them off!

We should study your psychology and behaviour Jersey Girl. Can you answer some questions for me? Just kidding!