A Funny for Anyone with Kids...

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_Yoda

A Funny for Anyone with Kids...

Post by _Yoda »

A friend of mine emailed this to me and I thought it was cute. Enjoy! :)

Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time,breathing didn't do a thing. 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, & fold them
neatly in the baby's little bureau
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean & discard only the
ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a whimper, a frown-you pick the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go
home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some
juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or
not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about
the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, BabySwing, and Baby Story
Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5
times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number
where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees
blood.

At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child
isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins (my favorite one)
1st child: when first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the
hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: when 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for coin to
pass.
3rd child: when 3rd child swallows a coin you deduct it from his pocket money.
_Polygamy Porter
_Emeritus
Posts: 2204
Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 6:04 am

Re: A Funny for Anyone with Kids...

Post by _Polygamy Porter »

liz3564 wrote:A friend of mine emailed this to me and I thought it was cute. Enjoy! :)

Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.


Oy, especially if you are the typical Mormon mommie guilted into cranking the babies out every 1-2 years. Oh and lets not forget about the streched out bottom garmie!
_Dr. Shades
_Emeritus
Posts: 14117
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 9:07 pm

Post by _Dr. Shades »

Apologies in advance for the derailment, but this is too good not to comment:

"But what is a Mormon message board without a healthy dose of delusions of grandeur laced with paranoia?"
Juliann Reynolds--October 29, 2006, FAIRboards


OH, THE IRONY!!

Only Juliann-the-perpetual-grad-student could've written a sentence as delicious as that one.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.
_Gazelam
_Emeritus
Posts: 5659
Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 2:06 am

Post by _Gazelam »

I tried to apply all the third baby rules to the first kid I had. But My wife demanded the first set of rules. I was the oldest child of 6, so I had plenty of baby experience.

we are currently on our third kid, got a girl this time, so everythings a little different. i don't recall the boys being this loud.
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato
_Yoda

Post by _Yoda »

Dr. Shades wrote:Apologies in advance for the derailment, but this is too good not to comment:

"But what is a Mormon message board without a healthy dose of delusions of grandeur laced with paranoia?"
Juliann Reynolds--October 29, 2006, FAIRboards


OH, THE IRONY!!

Only Juliann-the-perpetual-grad-student could've written a sentence as delicious as that one.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.


Thanks, Shades! ;)

Glad you appreciate the new signature. When Scratch pointed out that particular quote, it was just too delicious not to incorporate! LOL
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