Worst & Best Pick up Lines

Post by **_barrelomonkeys** » Thu Sep 06, 2007 2:37 pm

So I was reading the thread about bikinis and whatnot and contemplated how some guys are just totally clueless.

The worst line ever tossed at me happened after I was chatting at a club with a guy about The Clash. Rather excited that we both enjoyed the music and having a wonderful conversation. Which was perfect, he was pleasant, we had something in common. Leave well enough alone.

So, I had to go and said, "See you later." Smile!

He, hands me his number *gag* and with a very serious (he was completely serious with a little cocked eyebrow and intense stare) says, "I definitely am grooving on your vibes baby."

*ack!*

Yours? Or what has been effective for you?

Do they ever work?

Any good ones?

The best one I ever heard was about parallel universes. That made my heart go flitter pitter. But that was an anomaly.

Another one that worked on me was, "You make me wanna float away on cloud 666." That was pretty hawt and just insane, so I got a bit light headed.
;P

Post by **_KimberlyAnn** » Thu Sep 06, 2007 3:32 pm

I have had the worst pick up line ever used on me and it was by a dude at last year's exmo conference!

Bob McCue was giving a presentation and there was a man sitting next to me whom I'd tried unsuccessfully to shake for hours. He was so annoying. Anyway, Bob mentioned something in his speech about leaving Mormonism and how the transition could be difficult and some people got stuck in a metaphorical birth canal. So, Awful Man turns to me and says loudly, so that many people heard him, "I'd like to get stuck in your birth canal." EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Later, I left to go get a drink, which I desperately needed, lol, and upon returning, sat in a different chair, far away from Awful Man. But you know what? He came and sat by me again and said, "I see we've moved!". ARGH!! The guy was totally obnoxious. I couldn't believe him. Finally, the wife of the president of the Exmo Foundation enlisted her husband's help to persuade Awful Man to leave me alone. The guy just wouldn't get a clue!

So, there's my one bad experience at the mostly wonderful exmo conference last year, and what, for me, was the worst line ever!

KA

Post by **_barrelomonkeys** » Thu Sep 06, 2007 3:45 pm

OMG! WTF????

That is just NASTY!

Well there just went all of Shades hard work convincing me to come to this years........ ewwww

_Yoda · Post by **_Yoda** » Thu Sep 06, 2007 3:51 pm

KimberlyAnn wrote:I have had the worst pick up line ever used on me and it was by a dude at last year's exmo conference!

Bob McCue was giving a presentation and there was a man sitting next to me whom I'd tried unsuccessfully to shake for hours. He was so annoying. Anyway, Bob mentioned something in his speech about leaving Mormonism and how the transition could be difficult and some people got stuck in a metaphorical birth canal. So, Awful Man turns to me and says loudly, so that many people heard him, "I'd like to get stuck in your birth canal." EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Later, I left to go get a drink, which I desperately needed, lol, and upon returning, sat in a different chair, far away from Awful Man. But you know what? He came and sat by me again and said, "I see we've moved!". ARGH!! The guy was totally obnoxious. I couldn't believe him. Finally, the wife of the president of the Exmo Foundation enlisted her husband's help to persuade Awful Man to leave me alone. The guy just wouldn't get a clue!

So, there's my one bad experience at the mostly wonderful exmo conference last year, and what, for me, was the worst line ever!

KA

You left for a drink...I think I would have gotten DRUNK! LOL

I agree.

EWWWWWWW!

I wish I had been with you. I would have told that guy where to get off.

;)

Post by **_Dr. Shades** » Thu Sep 06, 2007 5:36 pm

KimberlyAnn wrote:So, Awful Man turns to me and says loudly, so that many people heard him, "I'd like to get stuck in your birth canal."

Forgive me, but have you ever seen a movie so bad that it's good?*

He came and sat by me again and said, "I see we've moved!"

I know you weren't trying to be funny, but I can't help it. . . LOL!

*Death Race 2000 immediately comes to mind.

Post by **_The Nehor** » Thu Sep 06, 2007 7:27 pm

Don't generally use pick-up lines. My meanest rejection was in High School when I asked a girl to the dance.

Her: I have to wash my hair (in a very snarky voice)

(Luckily I managed to repress crushedness long enough to respond)

Me: Thanks for telling me. I only date people with clean hair.

Post by **_Bond...James Bond** » Thu Sep 06, 2007 7:33 pm

I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize for my behavior at the exmo conference......j/k ;)

Post by **_The Nehor** » Thu Sep 06, 2007 9:15 pm

Bond...James Bond wrote:I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize for my behavior at the exmo conference......j/k ;)

Thank you, that gave me a good laugh.

Post by **_Doctor Steuss** » Thu Sep 06, 2007 9:40 pm

I think the most ballsy one I ever did was when I was about 18. My friends and I were at the "Cue Club" playing some pool, and I and a girl across the way made eye-contact. I mouthed the words "I love you." She laughed, came over, we ended up dating for a few months and we are still friends to this day.

Normally I just ask if they want to make out…

Post by **_keene** » Fri Sep 07, 2007 1:19 am

I'm /really/ quite bad at picking up chicks. Doesn't stop me, though. My problem is that I care much more about humor than about getting the girl, so I try and push the badness of the bad pickup lines as far as they can go.

Sometimes I'll get carried away with a pickup line, and, for the sake of humor, come off as gay.

"Do you wash your pants with windex?"
"What?"
"'cause I can see myself in them."
"Oh, ha ha. Get a better line."
"No, really. What are you, a 3? My ass would look great in those. Let me try them on!"

Every once in a while, it'll work, and we'll run into the girls bathroom and trade pants. And my ass usually does look great in them.

Sometimes, the direct approach is the best (courtesy of one Bryan Inks):

"I have a 300 pound penguin. Wanna “F”?"

And here's one that I never believed would work, ever, but did. My roommate is the KING of picking up chicks. It's quite the site to see. Imagine if you will, a man and a woman enter an elevator. The man suddenly turns and pokes the woman in the boob, right in the nipple, then returns to stare at the door, like one does on elevators. He suddenly gasps, and turns to poke her in the other nipple, muttering "Wrong floor."

Not only did he not get arrested, he went home with her that night. I couldn't believe it!

Of course, when I actually start caring about getting the girl, instead of making an ass out of myself, I tend to black out. My vision suddenly turns white, and I lose all conscious control over myself. Just the other day, I wanted to ask out my waitress at Wingers. She was just my style -- shorter than me. Hells yeah.

So, I try to be smooth.

"What's fun around here? I'm kinda new in the area..."
It's right at this point where I black out. Everything beyond this area, I have very little memory of, and can only tell the story because my roommate told me about it.

"Well, there's the music venue in--"

"Wanna head out?"

"What?"

"I mean... Wanna go out on the town with us? Maybe we'll find something to do?"

"Uhh.... Noooo...."

"Okay"
Apparently, I said this immediately. Probably a fight-or-flight response, trying to get out of the pick-up mess-up I just got myself in.

"I have to paint my room..."
It was at this point where my consciousness returned to me.

"Paint your room, over hang out with new friends... OUCH. I am HURT!"

"Don't take it personally!"

"Tsk tsk. It's too late. I already did."

Then I winked.