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I’m hesitant to share this with all of you, as I haven’t copyrighted it yet. But, I have devised a sure-fire solution to global warming. The resources already exist, and there are several countries that would be more than willing to partner with the USA in order to bring this about.

Ladies and gentlemen, the solution to global warming is…


Nuclear winter.


(Tah-dah!)

Brilliant!

I've been saying we need to nuke Chad, Paraguay, and Thailand for years but no one has ever listened to me.

The Nehor wrote:I've been saying we need to nuke Chad, Paraguay, and Thailand for years but no one has ever listened to me.

*All ears*

Moniker wrote:Brilliant!

Love your sig line. One of my all-time favorite books is the Bell Jar (and also, one of my all-time favorite poems is "Last Words").

For you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeLRf0vCoLo

Doctor Steuss wrote:

Moniker wrote:Brilliant!

Love your sig line. One of my all-time favorite books is the Bell Jar (and also, one of my all-time favorite poems is "Last Words").

I reread The Bell Jar about 3 months ago when I found myself gasping for breath.

For you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeLRf0vCoLo

Thank you. :)

For you:

Last Words
by Sylvia Plath

I do not want a plain box, I want a sarcophagus
With tigery stripes, and a face on it
Round as the moon, to stare up.
I want to be looking at them when they come
Picking among the dumb minerals, the roots.
I see them already--the pale, star-distance faces.
Now they are nothing, they are not even babies.
I imagine them without fathers or mothers, like the first gods.
They will wonder if I was important.
I should sugar and preserve my days like fruit!
My mirror is clouding over ---
A few more breaths, and it will reflect nothing at all.
The flowers and the faces whiten to a sheet.
I do not trust the spirit. It escapes like steam
In dreams, through mouth-hole or eye-hole. I can't stop it.
One day it won't come back. Things aren't like that.
They stay, their little particular lusters
Warmed by much handling. They almost purr.
When the soles of my feet grow cold,
The blue eye of my turquoise will comfort me.
Let me have my copper cooking pots, let my rouge pots
Bloom about me like night flowers, with a good smell.
They will roll me up in bandages, they will store my heart
Under my feet in a neat parcel.
I shall hardly know myself. It will be dark,
And the shine of these small things sweeter than the face of Ishtar.

Doctor Steuss wrote:I’m hesitant to share this with all of you, as I haven’t copyrighted it yet. But, I have devised a sure-fire solution to global warming. The resources already exist, and there are several countries that would be more than willing to partner with the USA in order to bring this about.

Ladies and gentlemen, the solution to global warming is…


Nuclear winter.


(Tah-dah!)

How about you quit farting?

Infymus wrote:How about you quit farting?

That's certainly an option. Or, you could stop following me around with a lighter.

Moniker wrote:For you:

Last Words
by Sylvia Plath

I think these first lines are quite possibly some of the most powerful prose ever written:

I do not want a plain box, I want a sarcophagus
With tigery stripes, and a face on it
Round as the moon, to stare up.
I want to be looking at them when they come
Picking among the dumb minerals, the roots.
I see them already--the pale, star-distance faces.
Now they are nothing, they are not even babies.
I imagine them without fathers or mothers, like the first gods.
They will wonder if I was important.
I should sugar and preserve my days like fruit!

There's probably only one other poem I hold in the same esteem as this one, and that's Elliot's "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock." One line in particular has always stood out to me:

There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet

So simple, so true, and so damn brilliant.

And thus, this thread is now commandeered for the discussion of literature, and poetry (unless of course infymus still wants to discuss the current state of my flatus, and its effects upon not only the olfactory, but the environment).

Global refrigeration? If Haliburton can secure the sole rights, we can proceed immediately!