Romney Presidency Led to Ruin of 2014

[_moksha]

WASHINGTON - Deregulation of banking and other businesses and eliminating taxes on the wealthy were at the forefront of President Romney's pledge at his inauguration on Jan 20, 2013. A year and a half later, economists point to this as the root of the worse economic collapse in history.

White House Press Secretary Glenn Beck admits that in hindsight, that "some regulations should have remained, and yet we were caught up in the excitement of the times and were confident the horse was actually white".

Fox financial editor, Neil Cavuto, adds a note of optimism to the crisis saying, "While the current world financial outlook may be experiencing a downturn, it still is a good time to buy gold". He also repudiates MSNBC's claim that he is out of it and too coked up to understand the current crisis. "Let them find their own coping mechanism", he retorts. In the mean time he thinks a long term solution may be found in the Utah State Legislature's recent resolution to secede from the Union and reestablish the Kingdom of Deseret. "It is not binding, but only a suggestion, and will not disrupt the Interstate 80 transport of uncut coping mechanism", according to Mr. Cavuto.

.

[_Drifting]

In other news:
Coffee ice cream futures continued to soar except in countries publicly highlighted as being less righteous than America (because they didn't have as much money) and Brazil, whom the President predicted would not be ready for the Olympic games unlike Salt Lake City who did it the best.

The President also stated that being thrown out of the United Nations, NATO, the G7 and other global alliances, over various self inflicted public relations disasters, would not be an issue because Americans are brilliant, especially the 80% who were rich, attractive, conservative and white.

[_bcspace]

Having just barely recovered from the Johnson/Carter hamstringing (no thanks to Clinton), Obama's already ruined us with $5 trillion in debt (now 6) and worthless programs slated to cost another $20 trillion in the next decade.