Health Advisory Warning Issued

[_moksha]

ATLANTA - Scientists at the CDC have released a health advisory warning for the Rocky Mountain area. They believe the epicenter for this contagion is located in Provo, Utah and postulate that a dangerous fountain or rusty faucet of zealotry is continuously infecting those within its proximity . The waters from this faucet, they believe, have a distance bound effect - the further away you are, the less likely you are to develop Over Zealotry Syndrome (OZS). Unfortunately, those who have spent too much time in Provo are irrevocably contaminated and require extensive detox treatment before they can function as normally as someone further way, such as Quebec or Grants Pass, Oregon.

The CDC advises the public to be on the lookout for young men and women wearing black nametags and who also have glowing eyes. If you should spot one of these carriers, you should notify the CDC immediately. Do not initiate contact or take any other actions which could be misconstrued by the carriers.