Do We Really Have It Right?

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ceeboo
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Re: Do We Really Have It Right?

Post by ceeboo »

Lem wrote:
Sun Sep 19, 2021 12:24 am
ceeboo wrote:
Fri Sep 17, 2021 10:05 am


That's a really interesting question that I don't know the answer to either. If I had to guess, my guess would be that the answer is very dependent on the individual and that the answer will not be consistent among a larger number of people.
I think you may have misunderstood me, as I meant that question rhetorically.

But if I had to guess, I would guess that, overwhelmingly and consistently, the people "receiving the crude sexist slaps in the face" feel far more hurt than the people who are (occasionally, intermittently, infrequently, and unfortunately sometimes never) called out for sending those sexist slurs.
Putting your rhetorical intent aside for a moment - I think it's worth considering (especially on this thread question, as well as the various things that are being discussed on this thread) that the people who provide the sexist comments can also be hurt when/if they are called out - I am not suggesting that they ought to be just as hurt - nor an I suggesting that they are somehow justified to be as hurt as the people who are slapped in the face who receive the sexist comments. I am simply and only suggesting that hurt can be one of the results for people who engage in sexist comments. I tell you this from very personal experience, for what it's worth. Meaning, I was hurt when I was called out (I was also saddened, embarrassed and ashamed) - so that's all I was trying to say and I thought it was worth throwing it into this entire discussion.
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ceeboo
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Re: Do We Really Have It Right?

Post by ceeboo »

As I think about the recent thread contributions concerning culture and baggage (sometimes rightfully joined together and combined as cultural baggage) - I think it's a thing. A really big thing, in my opinion.

Thanks to those who brought these ideas to the table.

So, now that we are on page 15 of the thread, I am fairly confident in saying, at this point, that we "really don't have it right" a lot of the time. And that ought to make most of us consider using pencil (with an eraser) instead of permanent ink pens when we post. It's something I am going to try to do going forward. I'm not suggesting I will succeed with this - only that I am going to try.
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Some Schmo
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Re: Do We Really Have It Right?

Post by Some Schmo »

ceeboo wrote:
Sun Sep 19, 2021 8:02 am
Some Schmo wrote:
Sat Sep 18, 2021 6:12 pm
Calling someone a faggot was a serious intention to insult.
When I was growing up, my grandpa used to use the word "fag" when he was talking about a cigarette.
You reminded me of something else we used to say. We'd call someone a fag, and if he looked hurt by it, we'd say, "I meant a bundle of sticks."

Kids say the dumbest things.
Religion is for people whose existential fear is greater than their common sense.
Lem
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Re: Do We Really Have It Right?

Post by Lem »

ceeboo wrote:
Fri Sep 17, 2021 10:05 am
Lem wrote:Do those saying sexist things feel as much hurt as those receiving the crude sexist slaps in the face feel? Who knows. Maybe that hurt will be a topic somewhere in the future.…
That's a really interesting question that I don't know the answer to either. If I had to guess, my guess would be that the answer is very dependent on the individual and that the answer will not be consistent among a larger number of people.
Lem wrote:
Sun Sep 19, 2021 12:24 am
I think you may have misunderstood me, as I meant that question rhetorically.

But if I had to guess, I would guess that, overwhelmingly and consistently, the people "receiving the crude sexist slaps in the face" feel far more hurt than the people who are (occasionally, intermittently, infrequently, and unfortunately sometimes never) called out for sending those sexist slurs.
ceeboo wrote:
Sun Sep 19, 2021 8:44 am
Putting your rhetorical intent aside for a moment - I think it's worth considering (especially on this thread question, as well as the various things that are being discussed on this thread) that the people who provide the sexist comments can also be hurt when/if they are called out - I am not suggesting that they ought to be just as hurt - nor an I suggesting that they are somehow justified to be as hurt as the people who are slapped in the face who receive the sexist comments. I am simply and only suggesting that hurt can be one of the results for people who engage in sexist comments. I tell you this from very personal experience, for what it's worth. Meaning, I was hurt when I was called out (I was also saddened, embarrassed and ashamed) - so that's all I was trying to say and I thought it was worth throwing it into this entire discussion.
Ok, but I don’t understand what intent you want me to put aside. I asked a rhetorical question, you answered it directly, at which point I responded with my direct answer. In any case, your paragraph above seems to now give a different answer than your first one implied, so thank you for the clarification. It is much appreciated.

And I agree, it is well worth discussing how both sides feel in such an exchange.
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ceeboo
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Re: Do We Really Have It Right?

Post by ceeboo »

Some Schmo wrote:
Sun Sep 19, 2021 2:31 pm
Kids say the dumbest things.
So do adults.
Lem
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Re: Do We Really Have It Right?

Post by Lem »

ceeboo wrote:
Sun Sep 19, 2021 3:48 pm
Some Schmo wrote:
Sun Sep 19, 2021 2:31 pm
Kids say the dumbest things.
So do adults.
They do, don't they? :roll:
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Re: Do We Really Have It Right?

Post by Lem »

ceeboo wrote:
Fri Sep 17, 2021 10:05 am
Lem wrote:Do those saying sexist things feel as much hurt as those receiving the crude sexist slaps in the face feel? Who knows. Maybe that hurt will be a topic somewhere in the future.…
That's a really interesting question that I don't know the answer to either. If I had to guess, my guess would be that the answer is very dependent on the individual and that the answer will not be consistent among a larger number of people.
Lem wrote:
Sun Sep 19, 2021 12:24 am
I think you may have misunderstood me, as I meant that question rhetorically.

But if I had to guess, I would guess that, overwhelmingly and consistently, the people "receiving the crude sexist slaps in the face" feel far more hurt than the people who are (occasionally, intermittently, infrequently, and unfortunately sometimes never) called out for sending those sexist slurs.
ceeboo wrote:
Sun Sep 19, 2021 8:44 am
Putting your rhetorical intent aside for a moment - I think it's worth considering (especially on this thread question, as well as the various things that are being discussed on this thread) that the people who provide the sexist comments can also be hurt when/if they are called out - I am not suggesting that they ought to be just as hurt - nor an I suggesting that they are somehow justified to be as hurt as the people who are slapped in the face who receive the sexist comments. I am simply and only suggesting that hurt can be one of the results for people who engage in sexist comments. I tell you this from very personal experience, for what it's worth. Meaning, I was hurt when I was called out (I was also saddened, embarrassed and ashamed) - so that's all I was trying to say and I thought it was worth throwing it into this entire discussion.
Lem wrote: Ok, but I don’t understand what intent you want me to put aside. I asked a rhetorical question, you answered it directly, at which point I responded with my direct answer. In any case, your paragraph above seems to now give a different answer than your first one implied, so thank you for the clarification. It is much appreciated.

And I agree, it is well worth discussing how both sides feel in such an exchange.
I thought we were having a discussion, but it seems to have ended.
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Jersey Girl
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Re: Do We Really Have It Right?

Post by Jersey Girl »

Lem wrote:
Mon Sep 20, 2021 11:40 pm
ceeboo wrote:
Fri Sep 17, 2021 10:05 am

That's a really interesting question that I don't know the answer to either. If I had to guess, my guess would be that the answer is very dependent on the individual and that the answer will not be consistent among a larger number of people.
Lem wrote:
Sun Sep 19, 2021 12:24 am
I think you may have misunderstood me, as I meant that question rhetorically.

But if I had to guess, I would guess that, overwhelmingly and consistently, the people "receiving the crude sexist slaps in the face" feel far more hurt than the people who are (occasionally, intermittently, infrequently, and unfortunately sometimes never) called out for sending those sexist slurs.
ceeboo wrote:
Sun Sep 19, 2021 8:44 am
Putting your rhetorical intent aside for a moment - I think it's worth considering (especially on this thread question, as well as the various things that are being discussed on this thread) that the people who provide the sexist comments can also be hurt when/if they are called out - I am not suggesting that they ought to be just as hurt - nor an I suggesting that they are somehow justified to be as hurt as the people who are slapped in the face who receive the sexist comments. I am simply and only suggesting that hurt can be one of the results for people who engage in sexist comments. I tell you this from very personal experience, for what it's worth. Meaning, I was hurt when I was called out (I was also saddened, embarrassed and ashamed) - so that's all I was trying to say and I thought it was worth throwing it into this entire discussion.
Lem wrote: Ok, but I don’t understand what intent you want me to put aside. I asked a rhetorical question, you answered it directly, at which point I responded with my direct answer. In any case, your paragraph above seems to now give a different answer than your first one implied, so thank you for the clarification. It is much appreciated.

And I agree, it is well worth discussing how both sides feel in such an exchange.
I thought we were having a discussion, but it seems to have ended.
Discussus interruptus. I hear there's a cure for that.
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ceeboo
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Re: Do We Really Have It Right?

Post by ceeboo »

Lem wrote:
Mon Sep 20, 2021 11:40 pm
I thought we were having a discussion, but it seems to have ended.
Ended? If you have anything you would like to add to our discussions or to the thread's discussion, please do so. If you have any questions for me, just ask and I would be happy to answer them.

As far as I'm concerned, I thought we discussed the sexist comments that you brought forward. If you don't believe we have, or if you would like to discuss this further, I will engage.
Lem
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Re: Do We Really Have It Right?

Post by Lem »

ceeboo wrote:
Tue Sep 21, 2021 9:19 am
Lem wrote:
Mon Sep 20, 2021 11:40 pm
I thought we were having a discussion, but it seems to have ended.
Ended? If you have anything you would like to add to our discussions or to the thread's discussion, please do so. If you have any questions for me, just ask and I would be happy to answer them.

As far as I'm concerned, I thought we discussed the sexist comments that you brought forward. If you don't believe we have, or if you would like to discuss this further, I will engage.
My last comment was responding to your statement that the hurt occurs on both sides, but if you're done, I have no problem w/ ending the discussion. Moving on then.....
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