When Cam did his AT hike and got to Jersey, he posted about his experience over the boardwalk portion of the trail and into the communities. He said something like "Jersey Girl is exactly from this place." and then went on to describe what he saw and heard in almost a poetic way. I don't know if he ever experienced East Coast folk before, but he perfectly summed us up in that post. I wish I could have kept a copy of it from the old corrupted board because it was nice to see a newcomer to the culture write about it because he understood.
Since the boards have been merged, I found the post that I mentioned here. It did my heart so much good to read this.
So, a few notes about Jersey...
- Jersey Girl is 100% from this place. While where we're at is super rural, bucolic, and charming (we stayed the night in Sussex county and the little town where we're at is post card cute) the people are chatty, up front about what's on their minds, and young and old alike casually throw '“F”' around like it were as natural as breathing. I like it. Accents are definitley noticeable here, too.
I recently read something that I think speaks very well to how one might approach the question asked in the OP:
"When you debate a person about something that affects them more than it affects you, remember that it will take a much greater emotional toll on them than on you. For you it may feel like an academic exercise, for them it feels like revealing their pain only for you to dismiss their experience and sometimes their humanity. The fact that you may remain more calm under these circumstances is a consequence of your privilege not increased objectivity on your part."
I recently read something that I think speaks very well to how one might approach the question asked in the opening post:
"When you debate a person about something that affects them more than it affects you, remember that it will take a much greater emotional toll on them than on you. For you it may feel like an academic exercise, for them it feels like revealing their pain only for you to dismiss their experience and sometimes their humanity. The fact that you may remain more calm under these circumstances is a consequence of your privilege not increased objectivity on your part."
In my opinion, empathy is often the missing ingredient that is responsible for misses, misunderstandings, erected walls, and dismissiveness as we engage with one another.
Focusing on our earlier discussions about sexist comments (my sexist comments in particular) I think my lack of empathy played a very big roll in my participation in making sexist comments - as well as my inability to recognize and/or see them as sexist comments at the times I made them. Please don't think that I am trying to excuse myself by laying the blame on a word (empathy) because I am not. I am simply and only suggesting that, in my particular case, empathy was MIA. I am going to try to be more empathetic moving forward. Try.
I recently read something that I think speaks very well to how one might approach the question asked in the opening post:
In my opinion, empathy is often the missing ingredient that is responsible for misses, misunderstandings, erected walls, and dismissiveness as we engage with one another.
Focusing on our earlier discussions about sexist comments (my sexist comments in particular) I think my lack of empathy played a very big roll in my participation in making sexist comments - as well as my inability to recognize and/or see them as sexist comments at the times I made them. Please don't think that I am trying to excuse myself by laying the blame on a word (empathy) because I am not. I am simply and only suggesting that, in my particular case, empathy was MIA. I am going to try to be more empathetic moving forward. Try.
In my opinion, empathy is often the missing ingredient that is responsible for misses, misunderstandings, erected walls, and dismissiveness as we engage with one another.
Focusing on our earlier discussions about sexist comments (my sexist comments in particular) I think my lack of empathy played a very big roll in my participation in making sexist comments - as well as my inability to recognize and/or see them as sexist comments at the times I made them. Please don't think that I am trying to excuse myself by laying the blame on a word (empathy) because I am not. I am simply and only suggesting that, in my particular case, empathy was MIA. I am going to try to be more empathetic moving forward. Try.
Anyway, thanks for the post, Lem.
Sorry, I didn’t see this! Your point about empathy being a vital part of engagements is a good one. Coming full circle to your original title, it may still not lead one to getting it completely right, but in my opinion it certainly opens the door to getting closer.
I am curious about your thoughts/opinion concerning my reply to your post. If you're willing, let me know.
Thanks!
Sorry, I didn’t see this!
No worries - glad you saw it now.
Your point about empathy being a vital part of engagements is a good one. Coming full circle to your original title, it may still not lead one to getting it completely right, but in my opinion it certainly opens the door to getting closer.
Accents are definitley noticeable here, too.
