Spanish challenge / help

[_Tarski]

As many of you know, my wife is from Spain. What you may not know is that after nearly 20 years I have picked up very little Spanish. She isn't the teaching type and just gets frustrated.

Well, we are about to go to Cancun for the 5th time. I have been studying Spanish for a few weeks hoping to spring it on her while we are there. Unfortunately, I am still a flat out beginner though I am quite interested in the grammar intellectually as it turns out.

Anyway, I have one day left and I thought I would see if there is anyone here that might toss me some preplanned phrases that would surprise her by being rather idiomatic, subtle, sarcastic, clever, terse, context sensitive, and so on.
Unless you are really good at Spanish (essentially native, bilingual, or at least have spent a lot of time in Spain or Mexico) don't bother. I need total assurance that the phrases are totally natural.
As far as idioms go, keep in mind she is from Spain and won't know obscure idioms only found in Mexico or other Spanish speaking countries.

If you have some stuff that is racy, intimate, or rude or argumentative that might come in handy as well. In that case you may want to message me.

Here: Are some contexts along with an idea of what I am looking for except that the specific phrases below aren't necessarily all I am interested. Give me what comes to mind.


1. In the airport.

How are we doing on time? (Are we running late?...etc.)

Do you want a window seat?

Are we sitting together.
Have they seated us next to each other?

Is there time for me to buy a snack?

These shoes are not as comfortable as I had thought but they're OK I guess.

Remember to move around during the flight ...you know, because of that blood clot thing I told you about.

They are making these planes smaller and smaller (joke).

The seats are way too close. The seating is tight. (Whatever expression works here)

The captain is asking how old you are. (another joke)

2) On the ride to the hotel.

How long have you been a driver for Apple Vacations. (To the driver)
Are you getting sick of us touristas?

I'm learning Spanish but its pretty rough going. Basically, I can't understand anything unless is is said slowly.

There sure are lots of security checks. Is the something unusual going on?

My foot is bothering me a bit.

When we get the resort, may sure to ask for the room we had last time.

3) In the hotel room.

I'm trying to get all my stuff organized.

Do you see an outlet for my iphone charger?

Is there anything in the refrigerator?

Does it look like rain to you?

Try not to slip. Remember, the floor is always slippery as hell.

I wonder if the beach will be crowded.


4) At the pool.

This way. This is the way. This way is the way we usually go. (said at a splitting of a foot trail or some such situation)


Are you all turned around again?? (said of someone who has lost sense of direction or become confused about which way is north or which way is the beach.)

That's just like him/her.

man! The water is so f8king warm. I hope they used enough chlorine and all that.

Keep an eye on our stuff, I'll be right back.

Hey, look. Remember that guy from last year?

Is that the same guy as last year?

I felt a twinge of guilt just now.

I can't believe he is still going through with it.

Did I just catch you staring at that guy?

I skinned my knee just now.

He's pretty crap faced. That's the same guy we were laughing about yesterday.

Just go straight in without thinking about it.


Oh. I think that guy is/was looking at you. An admirer perhaps. (Teasing)

That dude looks like a Russian mafioso

Did someone steal our towels yet again. My god!


Did you detected an accent? (Overhearing someone talking or referring to someone we met or that we were just talking to)
Did you detect a Spanish accent?

5) In the food court.

Do you see an open table? That table is open but not set yet. (Or or not cleaned up yet). That waiter reminds me of a TV character but I can't quite remember his name.

Alright, now let's just see what kind of food they have for us this time (very casual phrase just before we are about to check out the buffet).

This is so hot I think its going to kill me right here and now.

I assume he saw us (just now).

They weren't talking about us, you're being silly.

I'm going to try to strike up a conversation with somebody.

That's I fun couple.

You couldn't pay me enough to do that.

Don't be a party pooper! (in case I need to exert peer pressure. LOL)

The chicken dish is going fast ( referring to a dish is popular and being eaten up faster than the cooks can supply).

What the hell is that?

I'm from Spain but I sound American because of a brain injury. (Attempt at weird humor)

I''l take my chances.

I'm not calling that into question.

Don't run into them (bump into someone)

Don't trip. There is a high spot there, I just about fell on my face.


That looks pretty fattening. I'll pass.

Oh come on! (Peer pressure)

[_moksha]

These shoes are not as comfortable as I had thought but they're OK I guess.

¡Los zapatas es ca-ca, para "Viva Zapatas"!

The seats are way too close. The seating is tight.

Mi nalgas es muy grande. Coochee cooche?

This way. This is the way. This way is the way we usually go.

Vamanos, vamanos. ¡Ándale pronto!

I would like a hamburger with mayonnaise please.

Un hambergo Americano, por favor.

Sorry that my dog is humping your leg.

Shrug shoulders then say, "El perro es feliz de verte".




Tarski, hope that helps.

[_Analytics]

The seats are way too close. The seating is tight.

Mi nalgas es muy grande. Coochee cooche?

Good one, but I gotta correct the grammar here. It should be:

Mis nalgas son muy grandes, ¡cuchi cuchi!

A fun one would be to order a Mexican-garnished beer. The bartender would understand perfectly and be surprised to see an American ordering a beer the way Mexicans drink it, but your wife probably wouldn't understand what you were saying:

Una corona michelada por favor.

Shall we dance?

¿Bailamos?

If she is sitting alone and you come back from the bathroom, say this cheesy pickup line:

¿Por qué tan solita?

If you are in the mood, say,

Estoy arrecha, cariño.

Or

Hazme el amor.

If you are shopping, ask for a discount:

¿Tiene descuento?

1. In the airport.

How are we doing on time? (Are we running late?...etc.)

¿Estamos tardes?

Do you want a window seat?

¿Quires a lado de la ventana?

Are we sitting together.
Have they seated us next to each other?

¿Nuestras asientos están juntos?

Is there time for me to buy a snack?

¡Tengo antojos! ¿Hay tiempo para comprar una botana?

These shoes are not as comfortable as I had thought but they're OK I guess.

¡Qué incomodos son estos zapatos! Qué va hacer.


2) On the ride to the hotel.

Are you getting sick of us touristas?

¿Estás cansado de los turísticos?

I'm learning Spanish but its pretty rough going. Basically, I can't understand anything unless is is said slowly.

Estoy estudiando español, pero me cuesta. Háblame lento, por favor.

There sure are lots of security checks. Is the something unusual going on?

¡Qué cantidad de seguridad! ¿Qué pasa?

3) In the hotel room.

Do you see an outlet for my iphone charger?

¿Viste un enchufe para me cargador de mi iphone?

Does it look like rain to you?

¿Te parece que va a llover?

Try not to slip. Remember, the floor is always slippery as hell.

¡Ojo! ¡No te caigas! El piso es filoso como la mierda.


4) At the pool.

This way. This is the way. This way is the way we usually go. (said at a splitting of a foot trail or some such situation)

!Por aquí! Siempre tomamos esta senda.

Are you all turned around again?? (said of someone who has lost sense of direction or become confused about which way is north or which way is the beach.)

¿Te perdiste ya?

man! The water is so f8king warm. I hope they used enough chlorine and all that.

¡Puta! ¡Esta agua es como el infierno de la mierda! Ojala que pusieron bastante cloro.

Keep an eye on our stuff, I'll be right back.

Cuida nuestras cosas; ya regreso.

Hey, look. Remember that guy from last year?

¡Mira! ¿Recuerdas este chavo del año pasado?

Is that the same guy as last year?

¿Este es el mismo chavo del año pasado?

I felt a twinge of guilt just now.
Me siento culpable ahora.

Did I just catch you staring at that guy?

¿Estas mirando los pompis de este maricón?

He's pretty crap faced. That's the same guy we were laughing about yesterday.

¡Este chavo está borracho! Él bebe como una esponja.

Just go straight in without thinking about it.

¡Hazlo no más!

Oh. I think that guy is/was looking at you. An admirer perhaps. (Teasing)

Este chavo te estaba mirando. ¿Tu admirador?

That dude looks like a Russian Mafioso

Este chavo se parece de la mafia Rusia.

Did someone steal our towels yet again. My god!

¿Nos robó las toallas otra vez? ¡Por dios!

Did you detected an accent? (Overhearing someone talking or referring to someone we met or that we were just talking to)
Did you detect a Spanish accent?

¿Tiene acento gallego?

5) In the food court.

Do you see an open table? That table is open but not set yet. (Or or not cleaned up yet).

¿Viste una mesa disponible? Esta mesa está libre pero queda sucio.

Alright, now let's just see what kind of food they have for us this time (very casual phrase just before we are about to check out the buffet).

¿Qué estilo de comida nos espere ahora?

This is so hot I think its going to kill me right here and now.

¡Me enchiló! Ya me muero.

I assume he saw us (just now).

Supongo que nos vio.

They weren't talking about us, you're being silly.

Cálmate. No estaban sacándonos el cuero.

I'm going to try to strike up a conversation with somebody.

Voy a charlar con alguien.

That's I fun couple.

Qué pareja divertida.

You couldn't pay me enough to do that.

¡Ni lo haría por un millón de dólares!

Don't be a party pooper! (in case I need to exert peer pressure. LOL)

¡No seas vaga!

What the hell is that?

¿Qué en la mierda?

I'm from Spain but I sound American because of a brain injury. (Attempt at weird humor)

Soy de España, pero tengo un acento Americano por un accidente del cerebro.

I'm not calling that into question.

No lo dudo.

Don't trip. There is a high spot there, I just about fell on my face.

¡Ojo! No te caigas.

That looks pretty fattening. I'll pass.

No gracias, no quiero engordarme.

Oh come on! (Peer pressure)

¡Vámonos!

[_SteelHead]

I was going to put a bunch of Spanish swears, but then decided not to. Analytics put a few good ones up, though.