Santa?

[_ludwigm]

http://www.buzzfeed.com/adolfoflores/su ... .etpq5gb4Y

A suspected burglar in California died Saturday after getting stuck inside a chimney, authorities said.

The Fresno County Sheriff’s office said a homeowner in Huron, California, heard a man yell from inside the chimney when he lit a fire in his fireplace.

The homeowner quickly tried to put out the fire as the house began to fill with smoke.

When firefighters arrived about 10 minutes later, the suspected burglar appeared to be breathing and moving inside the chimney.

Firefighters broke the chimney in an attempt to rescue the suspect, but the man was dead by the time authorities reached him, the Fresno County Sheriff’s office said in a statement.

“A preliminary investigation shows that the suspect had climbed into the chimney overnight in an attempt to burglarize the home and became stuck,” the sheriff’s office said. “The homeowner came home [Saturday] after being gone [Friday], so he did not know anyone was inside the chimney prior to lighting the fire.”

An autopsy to identify the cause of death is pending, authorities said.

[_Some Schmo]

It was smart of the home owner to smoke out a burglar.

This is what people mean when they say they "lit a fire under him to get him moving."

He tried to steal stuff, but the only thing "hot" removed from the house was his corpse.

I didn't realize this is what people meant by, "You're allowed to fire on a home invader."

Sounds like this burglar is even thicker than a brick.

...

(Obviously, my only reaction to this story was several cheesy jokes. What else can you say?)

[_just me]

What amazes me is that this seems to happen several times each year. Or so it seems.

[_ludwigm]

What amazes me is that this seems to happen several times each year. Or so it seems.

People don't read classics...

...
He looked around and saw the objects of his search upon the chimney-piece; they were a pen, ink, and paper. With forced composure he dipped the pen in the ink, and wrote the following lines upon a sheet of paper: —

"I have no money to pay my bill, but I am not a dishonest man; I leave behind me as a pledge this pin, worth ten times the amount. I shall be excused for leaving at daybreak, for I was ashamed."

He then drew the pin from his cravat and placed it on the paper. This done, instead of leaving the door fastened, he drew back the bolts and even placed the door ajar, as though he had left the room, forgetting to close it, and slipping into the chimney like a man accustomed to that kind of gymnastic exercise, having effaced the marks of his feet upon the floor, he commenced climbing the only opening which afforded him the means of escape.
...
They found the door ajar. "Oh, ho," said the brigadier, who thoroughly understood the trick; "a bad sign to find the door open! I would rather find it triply bolted." And, indeed, the little note and pin upon the table confirmed, or rather corroborated, the sad truth. Andrea had fled. We say corroborated, because the brigadier was too experienced to be convinced by a single proof. He glanced around, looked in the bed, shook the curtains, opened the closets, and finally stopped at the chimney. Andrea had taken the precaution to leave no traces of his feet in the ashes, but still it was an outlet, and in this light was not to be passed over without serious investigation.

The brigadier sent for some sticks and straw, and having filled the chimney with them, set a light to it. The fire crackled, and the smoke ascended like the dull vapor from a volcano; but still no prisoner fell down, as they expected. The fact was, that Andrea, at war with society ever since his youth, was quite as deep as a gendarme, even though he were advanced to the rank of brigadier, and quite prepared for the fire, he had climbed out on the roof and was crouching down against the chimney-pots.