Whenever I arrive with a carload of donations, Carl is always right there asking if I would like help. Every single time. I think all he has ever really wanted was to feel needed, wanted, and appreciated. Hopefully he can continue on his path, and keep up the good work he has been doing. Carl’s success has caused Serving Hope to adopt a new slogan of sorts. “One Carl at a Time.”
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“I come from Alabama. When I moved to Las Vegas, I got a job at the Sunrise Hospital. I met a doctor, we fell in love and got married. I had a problem with drugs at that time already, but she didn't know it. She came from a rich family and wanted nothing to do with that lifestyle. She divorced me three months later. I lost a lot of things in my life...
Let's go back.
My drug problem started when I was traveling with the Murphy Brothers carnival. I had long hair, I was young and wild. I could tell you stories. I was manufacturing drugs and I ended up on Unsolved Mysteries. My roommate was on America's Most Wanted. He got caught and ended up in prison, but I continued manufacturing. I got involved with Hells Angels around that time. You probably heard about the shootout in Laughlin. I was there. I got shot in the head. I remember this blackness and nothing else. No pain, no out of body experience, I was dead. After laying on the casino floor for a few hours they took me to a morgue, I was DOA. But, I wasn't dead. I woke up in the freezer box. They got me out and started cutting me. I was shot in the head, my brain was hanging out and I couldn't say a word. I heard one of the guys ask the other one if he had checked that I was dead. He said he didn't. When they did, they rushed me to the trauma center. I woke up on August 11, 1997 and I was a changed man. I spent the next four months in the hospital. God gave me another chance.
Let's go back even more.
I grew up in the children's home. When I was 12 years old, I had to testify against my stepfather who was molesting my sister and my brother. My brother is dead now, he died of AIDS. Anyway, my stepfather is in prison now and my mother divorced him, but she ended up in prison herself because she didn't turn him in. My childhood was rough...
I don't want to blame anything or anyone. It is what it is. I got involved with #GiveForwardMondays and I was doing good, but I was still using. When you participate in Siloh’s program, you receive a shirt after a few Mondays. The thing is, I felt like the biggest hypocrite. I told him I couldn’t wear his shirt and represent his organization while I was lying to others out there.
One day I decided I was done with drugs. I gave the shirt back to Siloh and went to a police substation on Bonanza. I walked in and gave my drugs to the police officer there. He said he’s never had anyone do that before and asked if I knew I would be arrested. They charged me with possession and gave me a day to straighten a few things out. I returned the next day and spent the next month in jail. From there I went to West Care where I completed their 6 month drug rehab program.
I’ve been clean for 8 months now and I feel great about it, but it’s not over. It’s not over until you reach a year. I have faith in myself. I am around people who are drug users, but I am now able to say no. When you say no so many times, it becomes you. To me, there is no such thing as a temptation. There is right and there is wrong. Everybody can take that first step and just put the drugs down. You can put your past behind you and realize that it is something that has happened to you. You can start over.
I have two daughters. One of them is using and I’m not able to reach her, but I am in touch with my other daughter and it’s working out. I haven’t seen them in years, they live in Nebraska.
I am 49 years old and I have my life back. I love giving back and I love Mondays. Siloh has changed my life, he is my sponsor too. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I learned from them and I am able to help others because of them. I have a better relationship with my parents now. I want to be a better father to my girls. And I want to catch young people before their lives spiral out of control. I see so many young ones on drugs and I want to reach out and help.
I don’t want what happened to me happening to someone else's child...
Because of my injuries I get a lot of headaches and I am on disability now. I was red flagged in Nevada for pills before. I am better now. I am clean. I asked not to be prescribed the strong meds. When you use, no doctor will treat you. You are a liability for them. I have a doctor now who takes care of me. I had melanoma removed from my lip recently and I am going through my treatment now. The blast from the gun blew my teeth out. When you get clean, you get help. I am getting new teeth soon.
I am going to put Siloh’s shirt back on when I feel I deserve it. I want to make it a year. I am making baby steps and they will become bigger steps. I have my goals and I’m walking towards them. Drugs used to be the only way I could function. They were my excuse. There is no excuse for drugs. The only good thing I see happening out of all of this is me being able to help others now. I never knew how good helping others could feel. I’ve been in and out of jail so many times. Every time I saw the bars I thought, ‘What am I doing here again?’ I am done with that. I feel good, I eat better, I am not spending my money on drugs. I was actually able to send money to my daughter for the first time ever and I am putting a shed in my mother’s backyard. I am being honest with people and myself. And I will make it. I am making it. There is a reason why God let me out of that morgue..."
