Societal lack of Empathy

[_canpakes]

... when I came home to the states and saw people claiming poverty I couldn't help but think they have no idea what real poverty is.

This is an unusual thing to hear from you given how much you complain about your own financial situation.

[_honorentheos]

It seemed like when I was a missionary that my Latino companions had little trouble saying no to beggars or ruthlessly (by American standards) haggling a poor street vendor down on his price. I don't mean that these companions were bad people. But that was the culture and they were used to it. I started out just feeling terrible for the people. It took a while of living there in that environment to become a little more calloused to it. Did being poor or living in a poor area make any of us more sympathetic? No, when I came home to the states and saw people claiming poverty I couldn't help but think they have no idea what real poverty is.

Since I don't want to always talk about money, let's consider someone who is chronically ill but there's not really a clear diagnosis so he lives on and just has to scratch out a living one way or another. How would he feel about someone who calls in to work sick because of cold? He goes to work sick every day but since he's sick all the time there's no real excuse or sympathy for it. He probably laughs when people talk about how they thought they would die after having the flu. Does being sick make him more sympathetic? No, because he endured it and he expects everyone else to rise to the challenge in the same way.

How about we consider, you know, studies. They kinda work better than anecdotes.

[_Kittens_and_Jesus]

It seemed like when I was a missionary that my Latino companions had little trouble saying no to beggars or ruthlessly (by American standards) haggling a poor street vendor down on his price. I don't mean that these companions were bad people. But that was the culture and they were used to it. I started out just feeling terrible for the people. It took a while of living there in that environment to become a little more calloused to it. Did being poor or living in a poor area make any of us more sympathetic? No, when I came home to the states and saw people claiming poverty I couldn't help but think they have no idea what real poverty is.

Since I don't want to always talk about money, let's consider someone who is chronically ill but there's not really a clear diagnosis so he lives on and just has to scratch out a living one way or another. How would he feel about someone who calls in to work sick because of cold? He goes to work sick every day but since he's sick all the time there's no real excuse or sympathy for it. He probably laughs when people talk about how they thought they would die after having the flu. Does being sick make him more sympathetic? No, because he endured it and he expects everyone else to rise to the challenge in the same way.

How about we consider, you know, studies. They kinda work better than anecdotes.

You can change your tax bracket, but you cannot change your class.

[_ajax18]

This is an unusual thing to hear from you given how much you complain about your own financial situation.

My financial situation wouldn't be that bad if it weren't for being overtaxed. I have enough, but not even close to what I should be getting when you consider the number and inconvenience of the hours I have to work, and of course the time and financial investment it took to become an optometrist in the first place.

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

... to become an optometrist in the first place.

The irony of your avatar isn't lost on anyone, I'm sure. Lol...

- Doc

[_The CCC]

Jersey Girl:

Empathy is not a nature v nurture debate. But as the process of combining both. Below about 2 years old we're pretty selfish creatures. As parents and siblings play a greater role empathy is developed. Then usually at about 5 years old children are exposed to the effects of religion, if not a particular religion. All the worlds great religion have as a foundation some variant of the Golden Rule. In western thought it is do unto others as you would have them do unto you, and in eastern thought it is don't do unto other as you wouldn't have them do unto you. This is the beginning of empathy. Without getting into a dissertation about empathy I'll say empathy is a process of defining ourselves as others see see us. No one can be totally empathetic. We all have biological needs that if not met we die, rather gruesomely. So it is a balancing act.

[_ajax18]

... to become an optometrist in the first place.

The irony of your avatar isn't lost on anyone, I'm sure. Lol...

- Doc

What do you mean?

You're a military man. What's your opinion of General Jackson?

Do you think war makes people more sympathetic or more calloused?

[_The CCC]

Whatever his military accomplishments General Jackson was a slave owning traitor. That counts BIG in my book.

War can do both and sometimes in the same person.

[_ajax18]

Whatever his military accomplishments General Jackson was a slave owning traitor. That counts BIG in my book.

It was the South's second war of Independence. If the south had won, he'd be viewed similar to George Washington, also a slave owner and traitor to England.

War can do both and sometimes in the same person.

I agree. But that contradicts the "science" in honorentheos's article.

[_Some Schmo]

Notice the phrase you used, "I know what it's like". That's the key to empathy. It's called perspective taking.

I think "I know what it's like" is helpful, but I don't think it's necessary to have empathy. I've never had an unwanted pregnancy, for instance, but I can certainly empathize with a woman's desire to choose how to handle it. I've never been an African American, but I can empathize with the fear they must have when pulled over by a cop.

I don't think you have to have had the experience yourself. I think you just need to be able to draw on an experience in your own life that might be similar and feel what it must feel like to be in their shoes. There's effort involved in attempting to feel someone else's experience.