Toxic People

The Off-Topic forum for anything non-LDS related, such as sports or politics. Rated PG through PG-13.
_Doctor CamNC4Me
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Re: Toxic People

Post by _Doctor CamNC4Me »

RockSlider wrote:... but I'm sure my wife tires of me moaning about work and health all the time.


You had butt cancer. You get a pass, especially if you're not taking pain medication because it makes your brain fuzzy.

- Doc
In the face of madness, rationality has no power - Xiao Wang, US historiographer, 2287 AD.

Every record...falsified, every book rewritten...every statue...has been renamed or torn down, every date...altered...the process is continuing...minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Ideology is always right.
_Jersey Girl
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Re: Toxic People

Post by _Jersey Girl »

The CCC wrote:We all need someone's shoulder to cry on occasionally. But we don't always need to be that someone. :smile:


If it were occasionally, I'm all over it. If you're having a problem, I'm always willing to listen to someone.
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
_Doctor CamNC4Me
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Re: Toxic People

Post by _Doctor CamNC4Me »

How often does the complainer in question ask you about you? I suspect it's not often if ever. I'm my hunch is right this is definitely a user situation and you should stop enabling it.

- Doc
In the face of madness, rationality has no power - Xiao Wang, US historiographer, 2287 AD.

Every record...falsified, every book rewritten...every statue...has been renamed or torn down, every date...altered...the process is continuing...minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Ideology is always right.
_Jersey Girl
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Re: Toxic People

Post by _Jersey Girl »

Doctor CamNC4Me wrote:
RockSlider wrote:... but I'm sure my wife tires of me moaning about work and health all the time.


You had butt cancer. You get a pass, especially if you're not taking pain medication because it makes your brain fuzzy.

- Doc


Absolutely yes! Like I said previously, medical needs and death/grief, that takes precedence over all else with me. I will listen to you complain and take all the time you need doing it. I'll talk to you every day if you need it. I've done that with people and willingly so.

The situation I described is nothing like that at all.
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
_Ceeboo
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Re: Toxic People

Post by _Ceeboo »

Jersey Girl wrote:
Ceeboo wrote:Hey Jersey Girl! :smile:

I'm sorry, I won't contact you any more.


Good! Get the hell outta my life and take your drama with you!

:lol:



Image
_Jersey Girl
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Re: Toxic People

Post by _Jersey Girl »

Doctor CamNC4Me wrote:How often does the complainer in question ask you about you? I suspect it's not often if ever. I'm my hunch is right this is definitely a user situation and you should stop enabling it.

- Doc

The last time they mentioned me, was about 2 weeks after the ER thing. They wanted to know when I could talk on the phone again and said something to the effect "Hope you're healing well!".

Listen...that's total BS. There wasn't anything to heal from to begin with. What they wanted was air time for themselves.

I'm just going to say this and I will explain if I need to, because I'm not trying to post cliff hangers or anything. I truly am not. The ER thing...this person's crappy behavior was part of the reason that I ended up in the ER. I'm not blaming them for the whole thing, I'm saying their behavior was part of it.

I haven't replied to them at all yet. The problem is I can think of too many ways to respond and I'm leaning towards not responding at all and giving it all the attention it warrants--which is none at all.

In other words, "This is crazy talk. I'm not engaging your crazy." Like that.
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
_Jersey Girl
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Re: Toxic People

Post by _Jersey Girl »

Let me try to categorize the ways I can think of to respond.

1. No response at all. This is too crazy (you've obviously lost your crap entirely) for anyone to take it seriously. It's also insulting so buzz off. Not worthy of my time and attention. Again, buzz off because I'm not rewarding your crazy with my attention.

2. Deal with it in such a way that they have to explain their conduct and watch them trip all over themselves like a fool doing it. "Help me understand why you sent me this message. It almost seems like you're angry or frustrated with me. What's going on there?"

3. Play the "Oh so you think my life is cupcakes and waffle cones?" card and tick off a list of how it is not. In other words, everyone has stuff in their lives--learn to count your blessings like I do. Give them a reality check and point out that in many ways, their life is more pleasant than mine is. Basically, take your crying towel to someone who is less rational than I am and wants to play your pity games.

Option 1 requires no time on my part at all. I do think it sends the more significant, if somewhat less satisfying, message. It totally does the job without my having to work at it.
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
_Some Schmo
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Re: Toxic People

Post by _Some Schmo »

Jersey Girl wrote:Option 1 requires no time on my part at all. I do think it sends the more significant, if somewhat less satisfying, message. It totally does the job without my having to work at it.

I think it's your best option, Jersey Girl. It may not be as satisfying as telling them to go pound sand, but effective is better than satisfying, I think.

I suppose it's along the lines as "don't feed the trolls."
God belief is for people who don't want to live life on the universe's terms.
_Jersey Girl
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Re: Toxic People

Post by _Jersey Girl »

Some Schmo wrote:
Jersey Girl wrote:Option 1 requires no time on my part at all. I do think it sends the more significant, if somewhat less satisfying, message. It totally does the job without my having to work at it.

I think it's your best option, Jersey Girl. It may not be as satisfying as telling them to go pound sand, but effective is better than satisfying, I think.

I suppose it's along the lines as "don't feed the trolls."


It really is like don't feed the trolls. I do receive some sense of satisfaction from making someone explain how screwed up they are. ;-)

But really I don't want to devote any more time to this than I have. If they want to sit and pout, that's okay with me. I can think of tons of other things to be doing with my time and enjoy them without keeping them company in their dysfunction.

Here's your laugh for the day. This person is a professional counselor.

:lol:
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
_Jersey Girl
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Joined: Wed Oct 25, 2006 1:16 am

Re: Toxic People

Post by _Jersey Girl »

I have arrived at a decision! I'm gonna plaster my little happy camper attitude on Facebook with this song and keep on keeping on.

In. your. face. :biggrin:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYo2LrnCOAM


And just remember folks, it could've been this:


Image


:lol:
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
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