You best start believing in ghost stories Miss Turner. You're in one! ~ Captain Barbosa, The Curse of the Black Pearl
Or in this case, I best be believing in psycho drama because I'm in one, but only by fiat because I haven't done a darn thing but shut my mouth (keyboard) since this person fabricated a conflict out of thin air, began back when I was still on location as it were.
That doesn't mean I haven't
wanted to respond to the crazy. I simply refuse.
As of a couple or three days ago, I heard that she's still raving on Facebook and was sent a few examples. It's astounding that she's invested this much time and energy over something that was easily resolved by reading a two sentence message. But, why would anyone who thrives on complaining and maintaining their victim status bother to read messages to determine where the disconnect was? You can't keep a conflict alive by resolving it. ;-)
I still haven't blocked her. I was waiting for the opportune moment and yet torn between blocking and just quietly not saying a word--forever.
If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it. ~ Jack Sparrow, Curse of the Black Pearl.
Have I missed it because I tend to overthink? Perhaps so. More to the point, I have to know I'm doing the right or the wisest thing when I end contact with someone. I have to be convinced that I haven't slipped up somewhere. I examined the message exchanges at least 4 times. I was very clear.
I recently took some time to think back and reflect over the past year, on various situations this person has presented to me. How 98% of her communication is presenting conflict. Stewing over conflict. Creating conflict. Posting conflict on Facebook. Faking a great life while messaging conflict to me behind the scenes.
I see the pattern of behavior and I'm not sure how to characterize it or what conclusions to draw--I'm forming some and I think I'm close enough to call it accurate. Since I'm in this psycho drama (by fiat) I find it fascinating because it is happening in real time, it involves me, and there's also that part that wants to make darn sure I haven't slighted anyone before I pull the plug on them, because I'm not someone who sets out to harm or hurt anyone.
I'll give one example of how this person creates conflict. They were posting on Facebook about how they are decluttering and how big a job it is. The son's gf chimes in to say, "Hey watch a couple of episodes of Hoarders. That's what I do!"
She tells me that she tore into the son for that remark and it's "implication" that she's a hoarder and now "the gf isn't talking to me!"
Well yeah.
Because
implication was totally absent from the remark and she manufactured a conflict out of thin air. Again. I identified multiple and repeated example of this and also a propensity to couch almost everything in negative terms. Sort of like people who offer the backhanded compliment.
Almost all situations and events are interpreted as a personal slight, a cause for concern, a calamity, a hardship, a problem, a reason to vent, and somebody done done her wrong.
Again.
Conclusion, revelation, question: I suspect there are some people who don't know how to engage others or the world, any other way than by a dynamic wherein they announce a complaint and drawing attention to themselves and their conflict. I suspect they don't know how to draw positive attention to themselves or do they simply not experience a positive state at all? Their relationship with others relies on seeking sympathy?
My god, that is so sad.