The Bible needs a "Book of Trump"

[_Maksutov]

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/pol ... HMbmwAC0NQ

LAS VEGAS – In the Bible lives a cast of characters thousands of years old. There's Job and Esther and Daniel.

But what about Trump?

Read the writings of Miriam Adelson, the Israeli-American wife of GOP mega donor Sheldon Adelson, and you'll find her case to expand the holy book with a story named after the 45th president of the United States.

"Would it be too much to pray for a day when the Bible gets a 'Book of Trump,' much like it has a “Book of Esther” celebrating the deliverance of the Jews from ancient Persia?" Adelson wrote in a column published July 6 in the Las Vegas Review-Journal, a newspaper the Adelsons own.

Adelson contends Donald Trump "should enjoy sweeping support" among U.S. Jews and Israelis – so much so that he deserves pages in the Bible.

[_moksha]

I imagine Mrs. Adelson would be delighted if the new biblical Book of Trump was narrated by former Las Vegas real estate developer Benjamin Siegel.

[_Dr Exiled]

And what about the young women? Surely there has to be a lot of young women, aspiring beauty pagent/models, in the book of Trump.

[_MeDotOrg]

"Would it be too much to pray for a day when the Bible gets a 'Book of Trump,' much like it has a “Book of Esther” celebrating the deliverance of the Jews from ancient Persia?"

Yes.

[_Maksutov]

"Would it be too much to pray for a day when the Bible gets a 'Book of Trump,' much like it has a “Book of Esther” celebrating the deliverance of the Jews from ancient Persia?"

Yes.

You'll never get a Presidential Medal at that rate.

[_honorentheos]

If it stays at the level of prayer, have at it. I'd be more concerned if the sentiment was prayer was not enough.

[_DarkHelmet]

Oh please make this happen. Evangelicals and Mormons can come to gether on this. We need a Book of Trump in the Bible and the Book of Mormon. Hasten the exedus of America's youth from organized religion.

[_Some Schmo]

The Book of Trump

Chapter 1

1. In the beginning, god created me.
2. When he realized his mistake, it was too late. I was already slithering in the garden, making my way to the tree of life.
3. When I first saw Eve, I thought, "What a tasty piece of ass!" I approached her and wrapped my body around her pussy.
4. She seemed agitated by that move. It was her nails clawing my hide that gave me my first clue.
5. I dropped from her pelvis, nodded toward the fruit on the tree and said, "Sorry about that. Here, let me offer you some fruit."
6. Eve gave me that eye of hers, and told me the fruit was forbidden.
7. I reached up and plucked one of the larger pieces, and swallowed the fruit whole. I smiled at her and said, "See? No big deal."
8. She shook her head and said, "Sure, no big deal for you. The serpent gets away with everything. It's all part of being a shameless snake."
9. I'm not sure whether it was her comments or the fact that I ate something with nutritional value, but I immediately threw up the hardly masticated food. I needed a fried thigh from KFC or I'd go nuts. I only eat the best.

[_Quasimodo]

It's an easy fix. They only need to rename the Apocalypse of John (The Book of Revelation) "The Plan of Donald."

[_Maksutov]

Evangelicals are in.

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