My life sucks.

The Off-Topic forum for anything non-LDS related, such as sports or politics. Rated PG through PG-13.
User avatar
Gadianton
God
Posts: 3842
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2020 11:56 pm
Location: Elsewhere

Re: My life sucks.

Post by Gadianton »

You're a deep-feeling dude, and not one who really loves change and so I imagine it's going to be a tough road. You triggered the journey and so I hope you go all in to get something out of it. The thing is, you can, and there are opportunities out there.

The holidays are one cultural construction that doesn't really matter. I do my rounds seeing family a few weeks before the holidays and then hope to be alone as much as possible because it's free days away from work I can put into getting other things done. I spent plenty on food and cooking accessories for those who wish to pursue that sort of thing.

Anyway, I do worry about you letting the walls inexorably close in. Change is tough, it's hard for me, it's hard even for people who are extraverted, but it's going to be something you need to embrace and I really hate to put it in these terms, but look around and see how many people out there truly have it rougher than you do. You can retire from your job, get that money and I believe the health insurance (? which is literal gold) and then pursue something else.

I know guys who are okay with the walls closing in if only they might get lucky and find a woman to be there with them while it happens but it's just one of those things that does require a lot of luck, and it's also not something that's as much in your control to obtain. What I mean by that is that you can't change other people and so what they are going to be for you is always a dice roll that you can't rely on.
User avatar
Res Ipsa
God
Posts: 9568
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2020 6:44 pm
Location: Playing Rabbits

Re: My life sucks.

Post by Res Ipsa »

Shades, not lame at all. We aren’t strangers on a message board. We’re your friends. You’ve been with some of the folks here for so long, it’s more like family than friends.

One of the wonderful things about being human is our ability to share both joy and pain with others. Sadly, we still have a male cultural stereotype that says that being a man includes being able to handle all the pain ourselves without relying on anyone else. It’s completely false and extremely harmful. The pain you are feeling is 100% normal for someone in your current circumstances. You are grieving losses just as painful as the death of someone close to you. The fact that you reached out to us is not a sign of weakness or reason for shame. It’s what we all should do when pain becomes unbearable. Thank you for trusting us enough to reach out.

Forget about the board issues for now. That’s way too much stress to take on. The mod team will be more proactive and, if we get it wrong, you can chew us out later.

Does your work offer EAP counseling? If so, use every session you are eligible for. A good therapist can be extremely helpful getting through these painful periods.

Finally, are you suicidal? If you are please call the national suicide hotline right now: 1-800-273-8255. I care about you and I would miss you terribly if you were gone. Just like reaching out to us is a good thing, reaching out to the hotline folks is a good thing.

No matter what your brain may be telling you, we love you, we care about you, you are important to us, and we would miss you terribly if you were gone.

RI
User avatar
MeDotOrg
2nd Quorum of 70
Posts: 686
Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2020 9:55 pm
Location: San Francisco

Re: My life sucks.

Post by MeDotOrg »

First of all, It's good that you came here to express yourself. You get a lot of crap from a lot of people on this board. Sometimes I feel you're like an umpire in front of a very divided partisan crowd. Anything you decide is going to anger half the people. I have not agreed with every comment you made, but I appreciate the fact that you do put in time here. I am thankful for the effort you make to make this board possible.

"Things will never be the same". Yes you have your house, but as you said, it is filled with reminders of what is no longer there. I don't know the constructs of your personal life: Friends and support. You need them now. People care and want to help. This is a tough time. Don't feel you have to go through it alone.

I'm sending you a virtual slice of sweet potato pie. Have it for dessert tonight.

Take care Shades. I'll leave you with a bit of advice that seems contrarian, but it works: When you want something you can't have, give something to someone else. It helps fill the hole in your heart.
Last edited by MeDotOrg on Thu Nov 25, 2021 6:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
The great problem of any civilization is how to rejuvenate itself without rebarbarization.
- Will Durant
"Of what meaning is the world without mind? The question cannot exist."
- Edwin Land
User avatar
Some Schmo
God
Posts: 2466
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2020 3:21 am

Re: My life sucks.

Post by Some Schmo »

Res Ipsa wrote:
Thu Nov 25, 2021 5:56 pm
No matter what your brain may be telling you, we love you, we care about you, you are important to us, and we would miss you terribly if you were gone.
This is true.

Hang in there, buddy.
Religion is for people whose existential fear is greater than their common sense.

The god idea is popular with desperate people.
User avatar
Some Schmo
God
Posts: 2466
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2020 3:21 am

Re: My life sucks.

Post by Some Schmo »

Doctor CamNC4Me wrote:
Thu Nov 25, 2021 5:32 pm
It makes me wish I were still in SLC, I’d hang out with a brother and be present.
All this thread is making me think is that I wish Shades was close enough to have him over for Thanksgiving.
Religion is for people whose existential fear is greater than their common sense.

The god idea is popular with desperate people.
Chap
God
Posts: 2308
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2020 8:42 am
Location: On the imaginary axis

Re: My life sucks.

Post by Chap »

Omigosh. I am dumb, dumb dumb.

Poor benighted non-US person that I am, I forgot that today is Thanksgiving.

So Shades being on his own today is like it would be if I was alone at Christmas, more or less. That is not at all as it should be.

All I can do is to rush into the kitchen, fill (another) glass of wine, and raise it in the general direction of Utah ... wish I could have you round, Shades.

Image
Maksutov:
That's the problem with this supernatural stuff, it doesn't really solve anything. It's a placeholder for ignorance.
Mayan Elephant:
Not only have I denounced the Big Lie, I have denounced the Big lie big lie.
User avatar
Morley
God
Posts: 1560
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2020 6:17 pm
Location: detail from Alice Neel's 1980 self portrait

Re: My life sucks.

Post by Morley »

You have our hearts, Shades. Bell well.
User avatar
malkie
God
Posts: 1478
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2020 2:41 pm

Re: My life sucks.

Post by malkie »

I truly sympathise with you over what you are going through, and can understand to some extent why you have some feelings of regret - it seems to be impossible not to regret things in life.

However, all we each can do is to make the best decisions we can with the limited information available to us at the time (I've a feeling that I'm slightly misquoting you here ;) ), and then try not to beat ourselves up over it, thinking that we could/should have done something different.

Sending good vibes and warm thoughts from Canada ...
You can help Ukraine by talking for an hour a week!! PM me, or check www.enginprogram.org for details.
Слава Україні!, 𝑺𝒍𝒂𝒗𝒂 𝑼𝒌𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒊!
User avatar
Shulem
God
Posts: 7090
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2020 1:40 am
Location: Facsimile No. 3

Re: My life sucks.

Post by Shulem »

I will send you my positive vibes today just as soon as I can get to it. Right now, I'm headed out to Denny's for Thanksgiving because it's easy and fun. Yeah, Denny's. lol

Shulem
User avatar
Jersey Girl
God
Posts: 6827
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2020 3:51 am
Location: In my head

Re: My life sucks.

Post by Jersey Girl »

I suppose I could write many several paragraphs here but I won't. I will say what I have said in the past.

I am a good and willing listener who will not pound you with advice nor criticism, nor any other emotion but calm. The focus would be entirely on you. I come with references from people you know. No names. If they want to, they can contact you themselves.
Last edited by Jersey Girl on Fri Nov 26, 2021 7:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
We only get stronger when we are lifting something that is heavier than what we are used to. ~ KF

Slava Ukraini!
Post Reply