Question for Jersey Girl and other “women”

[Jersey Girl]

I forget why I posted about that. I think Markkkkk tried to dismiss me to my crafting?

I don't know what to make out of papier mache' for a costume. Here's a way to make a pumpkin though.

1. Steal your neighbor's newspaper or snatch them from a grocery store like Shop Rite for two weeks or just buy one Sunday Star Ledger and be done with it. (Note the local color).

2. Steal a clear plastic liner from the waste paper basket from your office.

3. Steal all the shredded paper you can from your office shredder.

4. Buy some flour on the way home.

5. Put on your play clothes or cover your clothes with an apron.

6. Ask yourself WHY you are still wearing your good clothes after work.

7. Cover your table with something...plastic table cloth, I dunno...figure it out.

8. Tear your newspaper into strips like it's the co-worker that plays office politics.

9. Dump your shredded paper on the table or keep it in your bag on the floor or table...open the bag.

10. Stuff all the shredded paper you can inside your stolen clear plastic liner. Stuff it until you can't stuff it no more. Use a twist tie to close it up at the top leaving about oh...maybe 5 inches of bag on top. Your choice.

12. Wrap masking tape (stolen or purchased) around the floppy 5 inches to make a stem. Then...take the masking tape and wrap the whole bag TIGHT to make the indentations of a pumpkin. Manhandle it if you have to. It'll be worth it, I promise.

12. Get the biggest bowl you have. Dump flour in it. Pour water on the flour and mix until it's like pancake mix. This is paste. You can taste it if you have to.

13. Put your stuffed stolen bag on the table.

14. Take your torn newspaper strips and drag them through the bowl of flour/water paste mixture. Slide your fingers down the paper to move the excess flour/water into the bowl each time. Consider it therapy.

15. Stick the strips of paper all over your bag including the stem. Stick one layer of strips on it. Let it dry for at least one day. Two days are best. Put your paste in the fridge or wash it down the sink. You can use it to make inky pancakes for someone you don't like.

16. Get home from work on a crappy day when you need some ASMR and whip up some more flour/water paste. Repeat the above process to make a second layer. Let dry one or two days. Do what you will with the glue.

17. Do the whole newspaper/paste process one more time! Let it dry two days.

16. This is it! Your pumpkin should be rock hard now! PAINT it any color you want!

Note: There are folks that actually varnish these things. I like them with the matte finish of any paint. Acrylics (pricey) or my favorite...Tempera paint. Happy Halloween!

Thank you!

I live to serve!

[Jersey Girl]

Here's a nice example!

[canpakes]

Here's a nice example!

Hey! That looks pretty close to our first from this year’s crop!

[Jersey Girl]

Here's a nice example!

Hey! That looks pretty close to our first from this year’s crop!

That's not even a pumpkin! It's a frickin' pick up truck. Try to keep up, k?