If you fart in sacrament meeting …
- Dr Moore
- Endowed Chair of Historical Innovation
- Posts: 1819
- Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2020 2:16 pm
- Location: Cassius University
If you fart in sacrament meeting …
You’ll have to sit alone in your pew.
- Kukulkan
- High Priest
- Posts: 361
- Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 5:36 pm
- Location: Slipping deeper into the earth
Re: If you fart in sacrament meeting …
You might even have to talk to your Stank President.
"I advise all to go on to perfection and search deeper and deeper into the mysteries of Godliness." -Joseph Smith
-
- God
- Posts: 5046
- Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2020 1:18 am
- Morley
- God
- Posts: 1571
- Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2020 6:17 pm
- Location: Raphael, Saint Catherine of Alexandria, 1507–1509 (detail)
Re: If you fart in sacrament meeting …
In the last session of General Conference, I listened as several of the brethren intoned about the evil of pornography and how we all needed to be on guard out of fear that our children might be involved.
Later that night, I decided to check the browser history of my young son's computer. I found that he had page after page of S & M and bondage porn. In desperation, I asked my wife what she thought we should do.
She calmly replied, "Well, I know the one thing we should NOT do. We should not spank him."
Later that night, I decided to check the browser history of my young son's computer. I found that he had page after page of S & M and bondage porn. In desperation, I asked my wife what she thought we should do.
She calmly replied, "Well, I know the one thing we should NOT do. We should not spank him."
Re: If you fart in sacrament meeting …
Just when you thought you were a competent adult, parenting comes along.Morley wrote: ↑Sun May 22, 2022 12:21 amIn the last session of General Conference, I listened as several of the brethren intoned about the evil of pornography and how we all needed to be on guard out of fear that our children might be involved.
Later that night, I decided to check the browser history of my young son's computer. I found that he had page after page of S & M and bondage porn. In desperation, I asked my wife what she thought we should do.
She calmly replied, "Well, I know the one thing we should NOT do. We should not spank him."
- dantana
- 2nd Counselor
- Posts: 420
- Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2020 1:07 am
- Location: Joined 7/18/11, so, apparently, position of senior ranking member.
Re: If you fart in sacrament meeting …
Good fart jokes are always fun. Humorous real life anecdotes are right in there. The only real life anecdotal fart story I have is - sitting in seminary class at like, five AM, needing to fart but holding it thinking - I sure hope Jesus isn't mad at me. How am I supposed to concentrate on this stripling warrior business when I'm about to explode. True story.
Nobody gets to be a cowboy forever. - Lee Marvin/Monte Walsh
- Morley
- God
- Posts: 1571
- Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2020 6:17 pm
- Location: Raphael, Saint Catherine of Alexandria, 1507–1509 (detail)
Re: If you fart in sacrament meeting …
I know it's an old joke, but I used to wish it had been included in one of the endless screeds about the dangers of porn.Marcus wrote: ↑Sun May 22, 2022 1:45 amJust when you thought you were a competent adult, parenting comes along.Morley wrote: ↑Sun May 22, 2022 12:21 amIn the last session of General Conference, I listened as several of the brethren intoned about the evil of pornography and how we all needed to be on guard out of fear that our children might be involved.
Later that night, I decided to check the browser history of my young son's computer. I found that he had page after page of S & M and bondage porn. In desperation, I asked my wife what she thought we should do.
She calmly replied, "Well, I know the one thing we should NOT do. We should not spank him."
- Some Schmo
- God
- Posts: 2501
- Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2020 3:21 am
Re: If you fart in sacrament meeting …
And bask in the power of your holy ghost.
Religion is for people whose existential fear is greater than their common sense.
The god idea is popular with desperate people.
The god idea is popular with desperate people.
- Doctor Steuss
- God
- Posts: 1692
- Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2020 8:48 pm
Re: If you fart in sacrament meeting …
One of my favorites. From a mock "summons" given to Porter Rockwell. Such incidents as these caused Brigham Young to react in classic parental fashion by actually threatening to turn the wagon train around.