If you fart in sacrament meeting …

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Dr Moore
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If you fart in sacrament meeting …

Post by Dr Moore »

You’ll have to sit alone in your pew.
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Kukulkan
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Re: If you fart in sacrament meeting …

Post by Kukulkan »

You might even have to talk to your Stank President.
"I advise all to go on to perfection and search deeper and deeper into the mysteries of Godliness." -Joseph Smith
Philo Sofee
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Re: If you fart in sacrament meeting …

Post by Philo Sofee »

:lol:
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Morley
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Re: If you fart in sacrament meeting …

Post by Morley »

In the last session of General Conference, I listened as several of the brethren intoned about the evil of pornography and how we all needed to be on guard out of fear that our children might be involved.

Later that night, I decided to check the browser history of my young son's computer. I found that he had page after page of S & M and bondage porn. In desperation, I asked my wife what she thought we should do.

She calmly replied, "Well, I know the one thing we should NOT do. We should not spank him."
Marcus
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Re: If you fart in sacrament meeting …

Post by Marcus »

Morley wrote:
Sun May 22, 2022 12:21 am
In the last session of General Conference, I listened as several of the brethren intoned about the evil of pornography and how we all needed to be on guard out of fear that our children might be involved.

Later that night, I decided to check the browser history of my young son's computer. I found that he had page after page of S & M and bondage porn. In desperation, I asked my wife what she thought we should do.

She calmly replied, "Well, I know the one thing we should NOT do. We should not spank him."
:lol: Just when you thought you were a competent adult, parenting comes along.
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dantana
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Re: If you fart in sacrament meeting …

Post by dantana »

Good fart jokes are always fun. Humorous real life anecdotes are right in there. The only real life anecdotal fart story I have is - sitting in seminary class at like, five AM, needing to fart but holding it thinking - I sure hope Jesus isn't mad at me. How am I supposed to concentrate on this stripling warrior business when I'm about to explode. True story.
Nobody gets to be a cowboy forever. - Lee Marvin/Monte Walsh
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Morley
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Re: If you fart in sacrament meeting …

Post by Morley »

Marcus wrote:
Sun May 22, 2022 1:45 am
Morley wrote:
Sun May 22, 2022 12:21 am
In the last session of General Conference, I listened as several of the brethren intoned about the evil of pornography and how we all needed to be on guard out of fear that our children might be involved.

Later that night, I decided to check the browser history of my young son's computer. I found that he had page after page of S & M and bondage porn. In desperation, I asked my wife what she thought we should do.

She calmly replied, "Well, I know the one thing we should NOT do. We should not spank him."
:lol: Just when you thought you were a competent adult, parenting comes along.
I know it's an old joke, but I used to wish it had been included in one of the endless screeds about the dangers of porn.
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High Spy
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Re: If you fart in sacrament meeting …

Post by High Spy »

Kukulkan wrote:
Sat May 21, 2022 7:18 pm
You might even have to talk to your Stank President.
Stink stank stunk, but not stunk stank stink.

Why is that?
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Some Schmo
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Re: If you fart in sacrament meeting …

Post by Some Schmo »

Dr Moore wrote:
Sat May 21, 2022 4:49 pm
You’ll have to sit alone in your pew.
And bask in the power of your holy ghost.
Religion is for people whose existential fear is greater than their common sense.

The god idea is popular with desperate people.
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Doctor Steuss
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Re: If you fart in sacrament meeting …

Post by Doctor Steuss »

One of my favorites. From a mock "summons" given to Porter Rockwell. Such incidents as these caused Brigham Young to react in classic parental fashion by actually threatening to turn the wagon train around.

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