Two paths

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Doctor CamNC4Me
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Re: Two paths

Post by Doctor CamNC4Me »

ajax18 wrote:
Sun Nov 20, 2022 6:21 pm
Doctor CamNC4Me wrote:
Sun Nov 20, 2022 5:14 pm


What went sideways in your marriage?

- Doc
I'm not going to talk about my marriage. But I will talk about dating and Mormonism, what I've seen of this world and the dating scene. More often than not, relationships are worse than being single, at least in this world. It makes me wonder if divorce exists in the Celestial kingdom.

The BYU dating market is something I wouldn't wish on any man. I found southern protestant women far more attractive and more reasonable in their expectations. But I'm a TBM so that didn't work. This is why the idea of believing in Mormonism ro gain access to a decent looking nice woman seems so crazy to me.
Uh. You were literally talking about your marriage above. Why not just explain to the board what went sideways in it? You might help some young Mormon man avoid a similar pitfall.

- Doc
1. Speech is aggression.
2. Every utterance has a winner or a loser.
3. Curiosity is feigned.
4. Lying is performative.
5. Stupidity is power.
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ajax18
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Re: Two paths

Post by ajax18 »

Uh. You were literally talking about your marriage above. Why not just explain to the board what went sideways in it? You might help some young Mormon man avoid a similar pitfall.
I'm talking about the entire experience and many relationships, relationships that I've experienced personally and those I've observed. It amazes me that people get lured into abusive relationships, then find a way out only to jump back into another one. Why do they keep doing it?

And Doubting Thomas, I think the latina path is a lot better idea for you than an lds singles ward if you're set on getting into a relationship. I'm just saying that most people realize after the fact that single life was better. If you have religious reasons for taking the plunge that's one thing, but don't be fooled into thinking that being in a relationship will bring happiness. Even for Tom Brady, women can be a real thorn in a man's side.
Last edited by ajax18 on Sun Nov 20, 2022 8:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
And when the Confederates saw Jackson standing fearless like a stonewall, the army of Northern Virginia took courage and drove the federal army off their land.
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Doctor CamNC4Me
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Re: Two paths

Post by Doctor CamNC4Me »

ajax18 wrote:
Sun Nov 20, 2022 8:26 pm
Relationships suck. I'm grateful to have my kids but honestly if I didn't believe in eternity or the gospel as most of you don't I'd steer clear of women. I wouldn't even recommend whoremongering. It's not worth it. Enjoy your freedom and your time to pursue your hobbies and passions. When you get in a relationship your life is not your own anymore. And with the advent of no fault divorce marriage is no more of a committment than cohabitation. Count your blessings. Relationships with even the prettiest women (on the surface) are often miserable as evidenced by the fact that 70% if them don't last.

Your idea of finding a latter day saint woman to marry is opening you up to a real shitstorm and would be a terrible mistake as a nonbeliever. I can tell you right now that you have a much better chance of finding an attractive women outside the lds church than within it. That anyone who doesn't believe in the lds church would look to find a mate who is an active believing TBM is just downright crazy. You're not going to find that and if you do, you're going to wish you didn't.
And Doubting Thomas, I think the latina path is a lot better idea for you than an lds singles ward if you're set on getting into a relationship. I'm just saying that most people realize after the fact that single life was better. If you have religious reasons for taking the plunge that's one thing, but don't be fooled into thinking that being in a relationship will bring happiness. Even for Tom Brady, women can be a real thorn in a man's side.
Ok. DT, taking the above poster seriously for a moment, this is his advice born out of his personal experience:

1. A Latina is better than a Mormon woman.

2. Being single is better than being married.

3. If you decide to be in a relationship with a religious Mormon woman you will regret it.

4. Women, no matter what they bring to the table, can be a thorn in your side.

5. You should steer clear of women.

6. Whoremongering isn’t worth it (did Ajax18 whoremonger at some point?).

7. If you get into a relationship with a woman you won’t be able to pursue your hobbies or passions.

8. A pretty woman will still make you miserable (was Ajax18 ever with a pretty woman?).

9. Mormon women aren’t as pretty as non-Mormon women.

10. You’re crazy if you get with a Mormon woman.

11. You’ll regret it if you choose a Mormon woman (it bears repeating).

There you go. Advice from an og Mormon old head. No cap, fr fr.

- Doc
1. Speech is aggression.
2. Every utterance has a winner or a loser.
3. Curiosity is feigned.
4. Lying is performative.
5. Stupidity is power.
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Some Schmo
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Re: Two paths

Post by Some Schmo »

I imagine being single is better than being in a relationship if you suck at intimate relationships. It also got to be better to be single if you're an incurably selfish prick.

But, I love my wife and enjoy her company, so that idea is certainly not true for me. I'm guessing it's not true for a lot of married men.

I'm not saying my relationship is perfect, or that I can see no advantages in being single, but the balance sheet weighs heavily on the side of marriage for me. Most married guys who wish to be single are likely kidding themselves about the source of their unhappiness. If you have an unhappy marriage, chances are you're half the problem. You probably suck at intimate relationships.
Religion is for people whose existential fear is greater than their common sense.

The god idea is popular with desperate people.
honorentheos
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Re: Two paths

Post by honorentheos »

Some Schmo wrote:
Mon Nov 21, 2022 3:43 pm
Most married guys who wish to be single are likely kidding themselves about the source of their unhappiness. If you have an unhappy marriage, chances are you're half the problem. You probably suck at intimate relationships.
POW! P-P-P-POW!

Exactly.
Hawkeye
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Re: Two paths

Post by Hawkeye »

Some Schmo wrote:
Mon Nov 21, 2022 3:43 pm
I imagine being single is better than being in a relationship if you suck at intimate relationships. It also got to be better to be single if you're an incurably selfish prick.

But, I love my wife and enjoy her company, so that idea is certainly not true for me. I'm guessing it's not true for a lot of married men.

I'm not saying my relationship is perfect, or that I can see no advantages in being single, but the balance sheet weighs heavily on the side of marriage for me. Most married guys who wish to be single are likely kidding themselves about the source of their unhappiness. If you have an unhappy marriage, chances are you're half the problem. You probably suck at intimate relationships.
Kind of like Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, and pretty much 60% of all men that get married "suck" at intimate relationships. It's hard to believe Johnny Depp doesn't regret getting married. I'm glad you guys enjoy being married. I'm glad it worked out for you. I don't think it's going to work out for Doubting Thomas. He needs to learn to be happy as a single man first. You also have to realize and plan for the fact that most marriages will end in divorce which for men is usually a far worse outcome than never getting married.
The best part about this is waiting four years to see how all the crazy apocalyptic predictions made by the fear mongering idiots in Right Wing media turned out to be painfully wrong...Gasoline would hit $10/gallon. Hyperinflation would ensue.
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Doctor CamNC4Me
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Re: Two paths

Post by Doctor CamNC4Me »

Hawkeye wrote:
Mon Nov 21, 2022 5:24 pm
Some Schmo wrote:
Mon Nov 21, 2022 3:43 pm
I imagine being single is better than being in a relationship if you suck at intimate relationships. It also got to be better to be single if you're an incurably selfish prick.

But, I love my wife and enjoy her company, so that idea is certainly not true for me. I'm guessing it's not true for a lot of married men.

I'm not saying my relationship is perfect, or that I can see no advantages in being single, but the balance sheet weighs heavily on the side of marriage for me. Most married guys who wish to be single are likely kidding themselves about the source of their unhappiness. If you have an unhappy marriage, chances are you're half the problem. You probably suck at intimate relationships.
Kind of like Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, and pretty much 60% of all men that get married "suck" at intimate relationships. It's hard to believe Johnny Depp doesn't regret getting married. I'm glad you guys enjoy being married. I'm glad it worked out for you. I don't think it's going to work out for Doubting Thomas. He needs to learn to be happy as a single man first. You also have to realize and plan for the fact that most marriages will end in divorce which for men is usually a far worse outcome than never getting married.
Seriously. What went sideways in your marriage? Like. Is she a Liberal or something?

- Doc
1. Speech is aggression.
2. Every utterance has a winner or a loser.
3. Curiosity is feigned.
4. Lying is performative.
5. Stupidity is power.
doubtingthomas
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Re: Two paths

Post by doubtingthomas »

Doctor CamNC4Me wrote:
Sat Nov 19, 2022 10:19 pm
It’s a shame when people view relationships as transactional.
Nobody is going to love me because of my personality alone. People expect me to bring something to the table.
doubtingthomas
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Re: Two paths

Post by doubtingthomas »

honorentheos wrote:
Sat Nov 19, 2022 10:07 pm
There's the deception central to #2. But I think that pales compared to the objectification that further views a woman having a kid as making her more vulnerable. But hey. We don't talk about fight club.
The most vulnerable women are on Bumble.
doubtingthomas
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Re: Two paths

Post by doubtingthomas »

Father Francis wrote:
Sun Nov 20, 2022 4:34 am
I think there's some self loathing in there too. Pontificating on the easiness of single young Latino mothers doesn't show self-confidence to me.
Just some plans for the not too distant future.

It wouldn't be easy to attract single moms in their early 20s when you are in your late twenties or 30s. However, it would be much easier to attract a Mexican mom than it would be to attract an educated career woman in her 30s who is beautiful. Attractive and educated 30 year olds usually have impossible standards.
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