How have you changed?

The Off-Topic forum for anything non-LDS related, such as sports or politics. Rated PG through PG-13.
Post Reply
User avatar
Jersey Girl
God
Posts: 6827
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2020 3:51 am
Location: In my head

How have you changed?

Post by Jersey Girl »

I think I started a similar topic a year or so ago, but something said to me recently prompted this return to it.

The other day the Boy shared an observation with me. We must've been talking about Covid and the lock downs. Whatever started the conversation was was overshadowed in my mind by his comment.

He said to the effect, "You're such an introvert I think you could actually do what the Tom Hanks character did in Castaway and where other people would've been damaged, you're the only one I know who could come off the island 5 years later and be a better person for it."

My answer to that in the moment was, "Yes. And I wouldn't lose Wilson either." ;)

Anyway I got to thinking about how I was affected by the height of Covid, lock downs, and what if anything changed in me or for me. What's different now if anything. I'll make a list.

1. I literally don't care if I see people except for my family folks. I do see friends for reasons but I'm content to live in solitude.

2. I don't go shopping like I used to. Before Covid I'd go browse in whatever store and of course I would find something I "needed". These days I only go into a store when I have something specific to pick up.

3. I haven't shopped for groceries in-store in over 2 years now. So long as they offer the service, I'll use it. Some people have told me they're too picky to let someone else choose their food. I'm not like them.

4. I've been on a mission to simplify my surroundings. Minimalism is creeping in. I love it. I knew Thoreau had it right all those years ago when I first read him.

5. I've named the deer. I forged a relationship of sorts with them. We have does who come give birth to their new fawns in spring. This year we had a set of twins and a set of triplets, and a single fawn because something killed it's twin. The Boy found the dead baby on the property. I used to get frustrated and angry with them for eating my flowers. Now, I talk to the Mamas. I tell them how beautiful their babies are and ask them if they liked the sweet flowers. I bought a baby pool to put out water for them.

6. For the past two years I've decorated the flower bed in fall with food. Mostly pumpkins of different sizes. Those are for "Buck" who parks himself here in fall. He never comes when the does are here grazing with their now more mature fawns. He comes alone. Maybe he enjoys solitude, too.

7. I resent being told where I have to be, what time, and when. Appointments and meetings. I go but I do so grudgingly. I do like meeting up with friends once a month for the rug hooking group I was invited to. I stay an hour or so and then happily leave. It's just enough social interaction for me. I'm happy to go home.

8. I've never been so deeply grateful for where I live or how I've chosen to live here. I thank my God every day for it. Life is simple here. It suits me. I can hear myself think here, reflect, and pray.

9. I've traded materialism for creativity. I regularly explode my little studio and love the time I spend there.

10. I've always known I could go for days on end, weeks even, without speaking a word to any other human. Covid and lock downs proved it. And yes, I think that in most ways, I came out better for it.

So what about you guys? What's changed for you? Have you yourself changed? Have you given up things you used to do and are you happy you did? Do you live differently now?

As for me, I don't think I personally have changed all that much. I think I'm exactly who I always was. It's just that I had more of a chance to be her.

by the way, here is Buck as he looks now. This was taken last week. Look how handsome he has become! Sit, stay, good boy, Buck. Okay, stand there if you want. No one's going to argue with you!

Image
We only get stronger when we are lifting something that is heavier than what we are used to. ~ KF

Slava Ukraini!
User avatar
Some Schmo
God
Posts: 2468
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2020 3:21 am

Re: How have you changed?

Post by Some Schmo »

I've been comfortable being alone since I was a teenager. It took COVID to demonstrate loneliness to me (and that didn't really happen until a good 6 months in). It sounds like we're similar in that it only takes a little interaction for us to get what we need from interpersonal contact. I love being at home alone or just with my wife.
1. I literally don't care if I see people except for my family folks. I do see friends for reasons but I'm content to live in solitude.

...

7. I resent being told where I have to be, what time, and when. Appointments and meetings. I go but I do so grudgingly. I do like meeting up with friends once a month for the rug hooking group I was invited to. I stay an hour or so and then happily leave. It's just enough social interaction for me. I'm happy to go home.

...

10. I've always known I could go for days on end, weeks even, without speaking a word to any other human. Covid and lock downs proved it. And yes, I think that in most ways, I came out better for it.
Man, I hear you on meetings.

Most of my favorite activities can be done alone. I used to play an online game where you benefitted by teaming up with other people, and I hated that aspect of the game. I wanted to be able to play it on my own schedule, alone.

I consider my close friends my family, and I only have a few. Hundreds of acquaintances, but only a handful of friends. My bar is pretty high, I guess.
2. I don't go shopping like I used to. Before Covid I'd go browse in whatever store and of course I would find something I "needed". These days I only go into a store when I have something specific to pick up.
I heard a comic once talk about how women shop, and men buy. It sounds like you go to the store with the same intent as most men now. Of course, I think a lot more people are in the habit of doing their "shopping" online these days, which is to say, doing the research online to find out what one really wants (browsing), then buying it once they've made a decision.
3. I haven't shopped for groceries in-store in over 2 years now. So long as they offer the service, I'll use it. Some people have told me they're too picky to let someone else choose their food. I'm not like them.
While I understand this to an extent, I am all about trying to reduce the number of people in contact with the food I intend to eat (a change from my youth). That's why I resist restaurants now, too, which I used to love.
4. I've been on a mission to simplify my surroundings. Minimalism is creeping in. I love it. I knew Thoreau had it right all those years ago when I first read him.
This is what I really wanted to comment on: minimalism.

I think that's the most significant lifestyle difference from my youth. At some point (early 40's, I'd say) I came to realize that buying stuff not only didn't fulfill me, it raised the amount of responsibility I had. The more expensive the car or house, the more it took to maintain them. The more stuff you have, the more places you have to find to store it, the more you have to keep clean. I used to love trees on my property; now I consider them an involuntary chore.

I've recently gone though all of our storage boxes and have thrown out a ton of crap. I took a big box of books to the used bookstore and donated them. Every time I get rid of old crap I haven't looked at in years, I feel cleansed. I don't want anything in my house I haven't used in the last year. I would say we currently have about a quarter of the possessions we had 10 - 15 years ago, and I'm still looking for things to give away.
8. I've never been so deeply grateful for where I live or how I've chosen to live here.
Exactly how I feel about where we landed.
Religion is for people whose existential fear is greater than their common sense.

The god idea is popular with desperate people.
User avatar
Dr. Shades
Founder and Visionary
Posts: 1874
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2020 2:48 pm
Contact:

Re: How have you changed?

Post by Dr. Shades »

COVID-19 didn’t change me at all. Like, not one little bit.
"It’s ironic that the Church that people claim to be true, puts so much effort into hiding truths."
--I Have Questions, 01-25-2024
User avatar
canpakes
God
Posts: 7062
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2020 1:25 am

Re: How have you changed?

Post by canpakes »

Dr. Shades wrote:
Sun Nov 20, 2022 5:17 pm
COVID-19 didn’t change me at all. Like, not one little bit.
Not so fast. You might have some new antibodies hanging out in your bloodstream.
User avatar
Jersey Girl
God
Posts: 6827
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2020 3:51 am
Location: In my head

Re: How have you changed?

Post by Jersey Girl »

I was reading the replies here while logged out and I wanted to say something. Schmo later today I'll find a quote from Walden by Thoreau and post it here. It expresses the same view as what you posted about materialism.

My indoctrination to Thoreau started when I about 16 years old. I was in a shop somewhere in Jersey and saw a poster I liked. It was a quote written in a spiral design and kind of psychedelic which appealed to me at the time.

Remember thy Creator in the days of thy youth. Rise free from care before the dawn, and seek adventures. Let the noon find thee by other lakes, and the night overtake thee everywhere at home.


It resonated with me for some reason. I didn't know then that Thoreau may have been inspired something from the Old Testament and used it as a partial jumping off point for his sentiment.

Back then of course there wasn't any Internet so I didn't know who Thoreau was or anything about him. I have no recollection of when I discovered Walden. I just know that I did and that his philosophies changed me or maybe helped me see myself in his work. If you haven't read Walden and would like to, I will tell you it probably comes off as a "dry read". But I love it and read it every year. I just picked up a new-to-me copy that has fall leaves on the cover.

So anyway, as I was reading your post and thinking about what I wrote myself and what I believe and how my views (borrowed from him) have slowly become a reality, it hit me.

I've become Thoreau.

:shock:

My cabin may be tons larger that his was. But yeah. That's how it is with me. I'm living it now and continue to strive to simplify. I'll jump back in later.
We only get stronger when we are lifting something that is heavier than what we are used to. ~ KF

Slava Ukraini!
honorentheos
God
Posts: 3762
Joined: Mon Nov 23, 2020 2:15 am

Re: How have you changed?

Post by honorentheos »

The pandemic feels "of a time" to me. It was the most significant event at that moment and I can't say it didn't affect me. But when I think about it, I find myself thinking about how many things my brother and I joked about as being on our 2020 bingo cards that sounded absurd at the time. "Global pandemic" just happened to be center square for the world. The January 6 insurrection was at least as significant in my view of life events I never thought I'd experience.

Since we are talking books here, like many people I found the pandemic to be an invitation to reread Camus' Le Pest (The Plague) which I hadn't read in over twenty years. It enforces a narrative about how humanity and civilization sit balanced delicately on a knife's edge of calamity that is inevitable. We get complacent and then nature disgorges the rats of the city into the streets.

It caused me to reprioritize. I decided that some aspects of my personality I thought were positives were hurting me and my family. I've been know to be driven, a hard worker, someone who put in the hours. Our daughter came home from her freshman year of college honestly traumatized by the shut down and feeling of failure that came with the last half of her academic year imploding, and we had a number of very personal, sometimes uncomfortable conversations that forced me to look hard at myself. I'd like to think I'm a better husband and father for it, but probably not better. Just more aware perhaps.
User avatar
Jersey Girl
God
Posts: 6827
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2020 3:51 am
Location: In my head

Re: How have you changed?

Post by Jersey Girl »

Dr. Shades wrote:
Sun Nov 20, 2022 5:17 pm
COVID-19 didn’t change me at all. Like, not one little bit.
How very sad.
We only get stronger when we are lifting something that is heavier than what we are used to. ~ KF

Slava Ukraini!
User avatar
Dr. Shades
Founder and Visionary
Posts: 1874
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2020 2:48 pm
Contact:

Re: How have you changed?

Post by Dr. Shades »

Jersey Girl wrote:
Mon Nov 21, 2022 2:30 am
Dr. Shades wrote:
Sun Nov 20, 2022 5:17 pm
COVID-19 didn’t change me at all. Like, not one little bit.
How very sad.
What can I say, I didn't need a pandemic to implement the pandemic lessons.
"It’s ironic that the Church that people claim to be true, puts so much effort into hiding truths."
--I Have Questions, 01-25-2024
Post Reply