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From: What exactly Is Wrong with Polygamy anyway?
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2022 10:39 pm
by Marcus
doubtingthomas wrote: ↑Mon Dec 05, 2022 10:23 pm
Res Ipsa wrote:
On the other hand, I have several friends who have had or are in polyamorous relationships.
I think real polyamorous relationships are extremely rare. Polyandrous relationships are probably way more common.
I doubt most men can get multiple girlfriends at the same time in an open relationship.
Again with the idea of
men “getting” women.
Women are not things to be acquired, please stop posting this sexist nonsense.
Re: What exactly Is Wrong with Polygamy anyway?
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2022 10:52 pm
by doubtingthomas
Marcus wrote: ↑Mon Dec 05, 2022 10:39 pm
Women are not things to be acquired, please stop posting this sexist nonsense.
Jesus Christ!
Re: What exactly Is Wrong with Polygamy anyway?
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2022 10:59 pm
by Marcus
Marcus wrote: ↑Mon Dec 05, 2022 10:39 pm
doubtingthomas wrote: ↑Mon Dec 05, 2022 10:23 pm
…I doubt most men can get multiple girlfriends at the same time in an open relationship.
Again with the idea of
men “getting” women.
Women are not things to be acquired, please stop posting this sexist nonsense.
doubtingthomas wrote: ↑Mon Dec 05, 2022 10:43 pm
Jesus Christ. You'll never change.
Thank you! I agree, I won’t “change” and find your sexism acceptable.
One would think you’d learn.
Re: What exactly Is Wrong with Polygamy anyway?
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2022 11:17 pm
by Res Ipsa
doubtingthomas wrote: ↑Mon Dec 05, 2022 10:52 pm
Marcus wrote: ↑Mon Dec 05, 2022 10:39 pm
Women are not things to be acquired, please stop posting this sexist nonsense.
Jesus Christ!
DT, here’s what you’re missing. The way you think and the way you talk influence each other. I don’t think you are aware how often you refer to women as objects — as “things” that men “get.” If you want a close, intimate relationship with someone, thinking and talking about them as something to “get” isn’t going to help you get there. Neither is describing women as a group in generally negative terms.
You can’t turn an attitude on and off like a switch. You’re going to broadcast it to women you try to date.
So, use the words that are consistent with the attitude you want to have toward women. Don’t talk about them as something for men to get. Don’t talk about them as group stereotypes. Talk about them as real people who want what you do — to lead happy, fulfilled lives. Change how you talk and you’ll change how you think. And you’ll certainly change how you appear.
Re: What exactly Is Wrong with Polygamy anyway?
Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2022 1:12 am
by doubtingthomas
Res Ipsa wrote: ↑Mon Dec 05, 2022 11:17 pm
Don’t talk about them as group stereotypes.
When did I talk about them as group stereotypes?
Re: What exactly Is Wrong with Polygamy anyway?
Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2022 1:17 am
by doubtingthomas
Res Ipsa wrote: ↑Mon Dec 05, 2022 11:17 pm
thinking and talking about them as something to “get” isn’t going to help you get there.
I understand, but would it be wrong to say "get some friends"?
Re: What exactly Is Wrong with Polygamy anyway?
Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2022 2:05 am
by Res Ipsa
doubtingthomas wrote: ↑Tue Dec 06, 2022 1:12 am
Res Ipsa wrote: ↑Mon Dec 05, 2022 11:17 pm
Don’t talk about them as group stereotypes.
When did I talk about them as group stereotypes?
Every time you said “women are …”
Re: What exactly Is Wrong with Polygamy anyway?
Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2022 2:09 am
by Res Ipsa
doubtingthomas wrote: ↑Tue Dec 06, 2022 1:17 am
Res Ipsa wrote: ↑Mon Dec 05, 2022 11:17 pm
thinking and talking about them as something to “get” isn’t going to help you get there.
I understand, but would it be wrong to say "get some friends"?
It’s not a question of right or wrong. It’s a question of talking about other people as people instead of as objects. It’s also a matter of acknowledging your role in the process. Try I would like to make some friends or I would like to cultivate some friendships.
Re: What exactly Is Wrong with Polygamy anyway?
Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2022 2:20 am
by doubtingthomas
Res Ipsa wrote: ↑Tue Dec 06, 2022 2:05 am
Every time you said “women are …”
I sometimes do say "the majority of women ..." or "most women..." according to the available data. I am not stereotyping.
Would it be a stereotype to say that men are more violent than women?
Res Ipsa wrote: ↑Tue Dec 06, 2022 2:09 am
It’s also a matter of acknowledging your role in the process. Try I would like to make some friends or I would like to cultivate some friendships.
I understand. Would it be okay to say "Go find a girlfriend", "Most men don't have multiple girlfriends", and "easier to attract a specific type"?
Re: What exactly Is Wrong with Polygamy anyway?
Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2022 3:03 am
by Res Ipsa
doubtingthomas wrote: ↑Tue Dec 06, 2022 2:20 am
Res Ipsa wrote: ↑Tue Dec 06, 2022 2:05 am
Every time you said “women are …”
I sometimes do say "the majority of women ..." or "most women..." according to the available data. I am not stereotyping.
.
Would it be a stereotype to say that men are more violent than women?
Res Ipsa wrote: ↑Tue Dec 06, 2022 2:09 am
It’s also a matter of acknowledging your role in the process. Try I would like to make some friends or I would like to cultivate some friendships.
I understand. Would it be okay to say "Go find a girlfriend", "Most men don't have multiple girlfriends", and "easier to attract a specific type"?
Yes. It would be a stereotype. If you want to connect with people, whether as friends or romantic partners, stop looking at statistics.
If you understand, you don’t need to be asking about examples. “Find” Is what you do with your lost keys. When talking about people, “Find” Is no better than “get.” You’re not looking for Woman labeled “girlfriend.” There is no “girlfriend” out there hiding from you. You need to develop a relationship. Talk about forming connections with others — not getting or finding people.