My Elders Quorum President Is An Exotic Dancer

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Lowrance
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My Elders Quorum President Is An Exotic Dancer

Post by Lowrance »

Let's pretend that this next Sunday, all of the people who are reading this will be gathering together with their young children in the parking lot of our Mormon ward building, which is designed to accommodate families. We enter the church together, and while we are in sacrament meeting, the bishop makes an announcement that the president of the elders quorum will be visiting all of the children's Sunday school classes to perform a sexually suggestive dance routine. This routine will include hip gyrations, the president laying on the floor with his legs spread apart, and the president unbuttoning his white shirt to reveal his breast. He continues by explaining that the LDS church is becoming more progressive and believes that exposing our youth to more progressive ideas will be beneficial to them and will make them more open to accepting people who may not think the same way as they or their parents do. He concludes by saying that the LDS church is becoming more woke.

Hence, after waiting another ten minutes as a group, we take our children to Sunday school and then head to our own classes. While we are in our classes, the door to your child's classroom is opened by the elders quorum president. He walks in while a song that was composed to be somewhat sexual in nature is playing. The man makes a provocative gesture by bending over and exposing the insides of his legs while simultaneously sticking his chest out. The next thing that he does is collapse to the ground, raise one of his legs to the ceiling, and shake the lower half of his leg to communicate that he wants you to come here. He stands up and begins to unbutton his white shirt, revealing his hairy chest even while his tie is still around his neck. One of the younger children stands up, moves over to the elders' quorum pants, and gives the front of the pants a light rub, all the while wondering what kind of fabric the pants are made of.

Following the conclusion of the dance routine, the president of the Elders Quorum will readjust his pants, button his shirt, and get ready to move on to the next classroom.

I wrote this in a way that will give Canpakes and Dr. Cam plenty of material to make fun of the situation and mock it. For example, they will be able to say things like, "well, that's better than what Mormon children usually learn in Sunday school." Alternately, Dr. Cam might post some humorously mocking pictures of the situation.

When you read about the elders quorum president dancing suggestively in front of your child, did anyone feel uncomfortable? What about the fact that he loosened the buttons on his shirt, or the child who approached him and rubbed the waistband of his pants? Did anyone feel uncomfortable? And if you did feel uneasy, I'd like you to explain why it's okay for a man to dress as a woman, put on ten pounds of makeup, wear a body suit that makes his hips and breasts look more sexually inviting, and wear stripper boots, that's ok, but what the president of the elders quorum did isn't okay. Because every person who is reading this would not have let their child attend Sunday school after hearing what the bishop had to say during sacrement.

Anyone willing to be honest?
honorentheos
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Re: My Elders Quorum President Is An Exotic Dancer

Post by honorentheos »

Your trans-Mormon fanfic says you have things you need to work out about yourself.

That's my honest opinion about what you wrote.
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canpakes
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Re: My Elders Quorum President Is An Exotic Dancer

Post by canpakes »

I had no idea that you wanted to be a male exotic dancer, LowMike. Good for you for having aspirations. : )
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Moksha
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Re: My Elders Quorum President Is An Exotic Dancer

Post by Moksha »

Lowrance wrote:
Thu Mar 02, 2023 11:49 am
Anyone willing to be honest?
Yes, this is porn and should be transferred to one of the sequestered forums.
Cry Heaven and let loose the Penguins of Peace
Lowrance
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Re: My Elders Quorum President Is An Exotic Dancer

Post by Lowrance »

I see the moderator that goes by the screen name canpakes is going to keep following me around in an effort to antagonize me in hopes of derailing the threads I start. So since canpakes has seen fit to accuse me of being Mike, I'm going to give you a nickname canpakes, it seems fair, so from now on your going to be Jessica Yaniv Canpakes everything I address you. Is that OK Jessica Yaniv Canpakes? Remember, none of thos would have happened if you acted as an adult.
Lowrance
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Re: My Elders Quorum President Is An Exotic Dancer

Post by Lowrance »

Moksha wrote:
Thu Mar 02, 2023 2:15 pm
Lowrance wrote:
Thu Mar 02, 2023 11:49 am
Anyone willing to be honest?
Yes, this is porn and should be transferred to one of the sequestered forums.
Drag is porn?
Lowrance
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Re: My Elders Quorum President Is An Exotic Dancer

Post by Lowrance »

Moksha wrote:
Thu Mar 02, 2023 2:15 pm
Lowrance wrote:
Thu Mar 02, 2023 11:49 am
Anyone willing to be honest?
Yes, this is porn and should be transferred to one of the sequestered forums.
Drag is porn? And if the moderators transfer my thread to a lower forum for being porn, then are they not admitting drag is a form of porn?
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Doctor CamNC4Me
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Re: My Elders Quorum President Is An Exotic Dancer

Post by Doctor CamNC4Me »

Lowrance wrote:
Thu Mar 02, 2023 11:49 am
Let's pretend that this next Sunday…
Once again a conservative makes up a scenario in his head and then gets outraged over it.

- Doc
Hugh Nibley claimed he bumped into Adolf Hitler, Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill, Gertrude Stein, and the Grand Duke Vladimir Romanoff. Dishonesty is baked into Mormonism.
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canpakes
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Re: My Elders Quorum President Is An Exotic Dancer

Post by canpakes »

Lowrance wrote:
Thu Mar 02, 2023 2:22 pm
I see the moderator that goes by the screen name canpakes is going to keep following me around in an effort to antagonize me in hopes of derailing the threads I start. So since canpakes has seen fit to accuse me of being Mike, I'm going to give you a nickname canpakes, it seems fair, so from now on your going to be Jessica Yaniv Canpakes everything I address you. Is that OK Jessica Yaniv Canpakes? Remember, none of thos would have happened if you acted as an adult.
I was here first. You’re following me around. : D
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canpakes
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Re: My Elders Quorum President Is An Exotic Dancer

Post by canpakes »

Lowrance wrote:
Thu Mar 02, 2023 2:27 pm
Drag is porn? And if the moderators transfer my thread to a lower forum for being porn, then are they not admitting drag is a form of porn?
Not if you’re dragging yourself, like you’re doing here.
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