Jim Jordan Embarrasses Himself With Border Stunt

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Gunnar
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Jim Jordan Embarrasses Himself With Border Stunt

Post by Gunnar »

Jim Jordan Embarrasses Himself With Border Stunt When He Can't Find Any Illegal Border Crossings
Last Thursday, house judiciary, uh, committee chairman Jim Jordan, took a gaggle of 14 Republicans with him down to the southern border near Yuma, Arizona because they wanted to catch themselves some illegal border crossers. They were told by law enforcement down there that they were having 4,000 people a day cross that border from Mexico into Arizona, 4,000 people a day. So we're talking about couple hundred an hour. So Jim Jordan thought, oh boy, I'm gonna gather me up. My Republicans, we're gonna head to Arizona and we're gonna, we're gonna show the country how bad this border crisis is. So they patrolled the border at night. You know, when you would think most of this would happen for hours, hours and hours. And during those hours, as I said, based on what the local officials said, you should have had hundreds of people crossing. Jim Jordan and his Republican morons didn't find a single one, not one, during their hours of patrol for this little political stunt.

They couldn't find a single person illegally crossing our southern border into the United States. How convenient is that? Right. Did, did all of those illegal border crossers know that Republicans were coming there and just decided, oh, wait, here comes the House Judiciary Committee, we better not make a move tonight. No, because they didn't know what they saw down there at the border is what really happens on a regular basis, but they weren't gonna let the fact that their mission was a complete failure stand in their way. So the Judiciary Committee on Friday sends out a press release with the headline that says, house Judiciary Republicans expose the Biden border crisis in Yuma, Arizona.

But you didn't, because you didn't find any people illegally crossing the border. You went down there and exposed your own lies. That's what you did. You thought you were gonna catch hundreds of people. You wanted to be there when Border Patrol agents tackled them to the ground, slapped them in handcuffs and hauled them away. But it didn't happen. But Border Patrol did say shortly after the Republican delegation left, then they caught a small group of people crossing just, oh man. Bad timing, huh? Right. Like, as soon as you guys left, uh, we just caught a group of people. Man, if y'all just hang on like five more minutes, you totally would've seen people doing it, but, but you didn't get to see it. But we did. We got 'em. Don't worry about that. Um, I don't believe a single part of this story at all. Like, oh, yeah, it just happens to be the second you left, like right when you turned your backs, they just started running across, and then you turned back around and they were already gone. You couldn't even see 'em anymore.

No, none of that sounds believable. But the Judiciary Committee claimed it as a win. They put out their press release. We exposed Biden by not finding anybody illegally crossing the border. Uh, Jordan and, uh, Matt Gates ended up going on Sean Hannity the next night, where they talked about how great it was. You know, they, they, they saw all this stuff happening, but none of it was true. None of it was true.
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Vēritās
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Re: Jim Jordan Embarrasses Himself With Border Stunt

Post by Vēritās »

Ajax needs to come explain this. So much for "open borders."
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Moksha
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Re: Jim Jordan Embarrasses Himself With Border Stunt

Post by Moksha »

Republicans were able to save face by pointing out that chupacabras had turned the immigrants invisible.
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Alphus and Omegus
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Re: Jim Jordan Embarrasses Himself With Border Stunt

Post by Alphus and Omegus »

Maybe the immigrants were invisible and carrying invisible boxes of ballots from the 2020 election? Or perhaps Hunter Biden's laptop was causing them to appear astrally in another location even though their bodies were present?

Anything is possible in the fevered minds of superstitious Republicans.
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