doubtingthomas’s topics MEGATHREAD

[canpakes]

DT, your article is behind a paywall, and my change jar is out of coins.

The article first appeared on a site that is not behind a paywall: https://theconversation.com/when-texts- ... Denver International Airport-171932

Thanks for that, Res. I read it. Now I’ll wait for DT to expand on his subject.

[Res Ipsa]

The article first appeared on a site that is not behind a paywall: https://theconversation.com/when-texts- ... Denver International Airport-171932

Thanks for that, Res. I read it. Now I’ll wait for DT to expand on his subject.

You’re welcome. I don’t know what there is to expand on. If the complaint is ending communication without telling the other person, that problem can be easily fixed with a new emoji — maybe a smiley face with a hand waving goodbye, meaning thanks for the chat but I don’t want to continue. The only fix needed to the “ghosting problem” Is to establish a social custom. That way, DT would be relieved of the trauma of not knowing whether a non response to a text means that the other person wants to end the interaction.

Easy Peasy. Problem solved.

[canpakes]

Thanks for that, Res. I read it. Now I’ll wait for DT to expand on his subject.

You’re welcome. I don’t know what there is to expand on. If the complaint is ending communication without telling the other person, that problem can be easily fixed with a new emoji — maybe a smiley face with a hand waving goodbye, meaning thanks for the chat but I don’t want to continue. The only fix needed to the “ghosting problem” Is to establish a social custom. That way, DT would be relieved of the trauma of not knowing whether a non response to a text means that the other person wants to end the interaction.

Easy Peasy. Problem solved.

Exactly. I’d suppose that a couple of decades ago, the ‘ghosting’ of the time was not returning a phone call, or walking away, or steering wide as you pass in the aisle.

It’s not as if the issue of ‘not wanting to talk to someone’ for whatever reason is a new phenomenon. We’re just seeing a new way for it to manifest without as much of a ‘visibility’ component. We’ll psychologically adapt to this.

[Res Ipsa]

You’re welcome. I don’t know what there is to expand on. If the complaint is ending communication without telling the other person, that problem can be easily fixed with a new emoji — maybe a smiley face with a hand waving goodbye, meaning thanks for the chat but I don’t want to continue. The only fix needed to the “ghosting problem” Is to establish a social custom. That way, DT would be relieved of the trauma of not knowing whether a non response to a text means that the other person wants to end the interaction.

Easy Peasy. Problem solved.

Exactly. I’d suppose that a couple of decades ago, the ‘ghosting’ of the time was not returning a phone call, or walking away, or steering wide as you pass in the aisle.

It’s not as if the issue of ‘not wanting to talk to someone’ for whatever reason is a new phenomenon. We’re just seeing a new way for it to manifest without as much of a ‘visibility’ component. We’ll psychologically adapt to this.

Yep. When I was a young lad, the established social custom was for the guy to call the gal to ask for a date. If the guy didn't want to pursue the relationship, he just didn't call anymore. But if the gal wanted to break off the relationship, she had to turn down the advances. And I'm sure that when the gals did, the men recognized that dating is a consensual relationship and never, ever tried to pressure the gal into continuing the dating relationship.

[doubtingthomas]

You’re welcome. I don’t know what there is to expand on.

Women are very picky on dating apps, the top 20% of guys get 60 to 80% of all the likes. To meet a good woman on a dating app, you'll have to put in a lot of time, money, and effort. It's not nice to get ghosted by a girl who initially showed a real interest in you, especially if you are unsure what's going on.

If getting ghosted is bad for your mental health, wouldn't it be as bad as sexual harassment? There's no evidence that most women ghost a guy for security concerns, maybe a lot of people ghost others to leave them confused, they won't even block them.

Easy Peasy. Problem solved.

Exactly! There's no harm in explaining to the other person that you are no longer interested in talking.

Exactly. I’d suppose that a couple of decades ago, the ‘ghosting’ of the time was not returning a phone call, or walking away, or steering wide as you pass in the aisle.

But there wasn't a 30 to 60 percent ratio of single young women and men back then. Young men had more options, and you didn't have to compete on dating apps.

[doubtingthomas]

These have nothing to do with your individual ability to find a partner.

Let me ask you, do you think ghosting is bad?

[Doctor CamNC4Me]

[Res Ipsa]

You’re welcome. I don’t know what there is to expand on.

Women are very picky on dating apps, the top 20% of guys get 60 to 80% of all the likes. To meet a good woman on a dating app, you'll have to put in a lot of time, money, and effort. It's not nice to get ghosted by a girl who initially showed a real interest in you, especially if you are unsure what's going on.

Wait! Are you saying that women you met through a dating app owe you for your investment of time and money?

If getting ghosted is bad for your mental health, wouldn't it be as bad as sexual harassment? There's no evidence that most women ghost a guy for security concerns, maybe a lot of people ghost others to leave them confused, they won't even block them.

No. Ignoring someone is in no way equivalent to sexually harassing them. No woman has any obligation to talk to you.

It’s not most, but it’s pretty troubling that, according the article you posted from the Post, the percentage is as high as it is.

Some ghosted because of safety concerns. Forty-five percent ghosted to remove themselves from a “toxic,” “unpleasant” or “unhealthy” situation. A 19-year-old female put it this way: “It’s very easy to just chat with total strangers so [ghosting is] like a form of protection when a creepy guy is asking you to send nudes and stuff like that.”

And why do you think a woman should be required to block a man she doesn’t want to talk to.

Easy Peasy. Problem solved.

Exactly! There's no harm in explaining to the other person that you are no longer interested in talking.

Wait! What’s this “explain” business? I didn’t say anything about explain. I suggested a simple signal that doesn’t involve explaining anything.

Exactly. I’d suppose that a couple of decades ago, the ‘ghosting’ of the time was not returning a phone call, or walking away, or steering wide as you pass in the aisle.

But there wasn't a 30 to 60 percent ratio of single young women and men back then. Young men had more options, and you didn't have to compete on dating apps.

You’re missing the point. In my day, men did the ghosting. Now that times have changed, suddenly some men are complaining about being ghosted.

I have online conversations with all kinds of people. The vast majority end at some point when one party stops responding. When the other party doesn’t respond, I simply assume they aren’t interested in continuing the conversation.

Why not do the same? Then you don’t have to invent an emoji, get it approved by the bureaucracy in charge of emojis, and then get other people to use it the way you want?

[drumdude]

These have nothing to do with your individual ability to find a partner.

Let me ask you, do you think ghosting is bad?

Yes, it sucks. But it happens.

[doubtingthomas]

No. Ignoring someone is in no way equivalent to sexually harassing them. No woman has any obligation to talk to you.

True. A woman has the right to stop talking to you at any point, even if you helped her a lot or saved her life.

However, women shouldn't be playing the ghosting game. If a woman no longer wishes to keep talking to a guy, she should just tell him.

Getting ghosted a lot could be bad for your mental health. Right? It might be doing a lot of damage.

No. Ignoring someone is in no way equivalent to sexually harassing them. No woman has any obligation to talk to you.

Not all sexual harassment is obvious and doesn't involve physical touch.

Why is sexual harassment not the same as ghosting people? The damage to your mental health could be similar.

Yes, it sucks. But it happens.

True, it could be contributing to the rise of mental illness in the US.