Marriage In Trouble?

[Jersey Girl]

My desire for this thread is not to discuss the reason or reasons that people have stopped talking to one another, rather, I am hoping to hear your thoughts/perspectives about what has happened to America, if anything, because of this - And, what do you think will happen, if anything, if this continues?

The floor is yours.

Hey ceebs,

I watched the movie version of Brigadoon this holiday with family and realized I'd completely forgot the main storyline. I'd vaguely recalled it being about a Scottish village that appeared for a day and then disappeared after, and Gene Kelly had to decide whether or not to stay there for true love.

I was shocked to realize how much of the movie I had missed or forgotten. I'd forgotten the reason it disappeared was because the priest has given his life in exchange for a deal with God to protect the village from witches heading it's way they were concerned would corrupt the people away from God. I'd forgotten that the weak antagonist in the movie was a guy who wanted to leave the village in order to go to university and do something other than be trapped in the village for eternity. That Gods deal was that if anyone left it then it would disappear, poof, with everyone in it being lost forever. That the antagonist was shot trying to escape on accident by the skeptical atheist foil to Gene Kelly because he was fed up with the village and just wanted to hunt which is why they'd gone to Scotland in the first place. And the village elders covered up the guy's death because that's how magic God-blessed villages do things. I'd forgotten how it portrayed New York City as the contrast to this perfect god protected oasis from time. Or that Gene Kelly basically made his decision after being around his true love for less than twelve hours.

What does that have to do with the OP? I don't know...

Honor you cut right to the chase. I do believe you nailed it.

[Dr. Shades]

I can't count how many times we've stopped talking to each other for long, long, long, looooooong periods of time and we've been married for decades.

Whose fault was it? :-)

[Jersey Girl]

Ceebs I have about a million things to say on this topic. I've said some of them over the years here in my posts, though. Not sure I even want to try to tackle it. But first...I have something else for you. Watch about the first hour of this interview. Consider it a bit of a foundation or an anchoring place for whatever comes next regarding the questions you have on your mind. I do think the reasons for the issues and the answers to the questions you posed are incredibly complex and that we could never do justice to it here since I think you have to reach so far back in time it would be difficult to follow the development of the events that led to the contemporary social observations you have made.

First hour or so. Just watch it and reflect. I don't think you'll be at all disappointed in the content. I think it fits what's on your mind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JRSLhClyvw

[Jersey Girl]

I can't count how many times we've stopped talking to each other for long, long, long, looooooong periods of time and we've been married for decades.

Whose fault was it?

Why do you think there's a reason to assign fault or blame?

Shades what you choose to reflexively see as a break can actually be a bridge. Imagine that.

[Some Schmo]

I don't think people generally think of social interaction this way, but it's a skill that requires regular practice. I have a sense that COVID caused a lot of people to be out of practice socially. One thing I will say is that COVID really strengthened my marriage; being that tightly confined helped us rediscover each other (I know it didn't work that way for everyone. I guess we're just lucky that way.)

As I get older, I've noticed it's harder to make close friends. Acquaintances are easy. (But then, I've always been the kind of guy content with only a few close friends.) COVID made everyone less socially practiced, so making friends is an even bigger challenge.

And yeah, getting exposure to people online is like eating fast food. It gives you the illusion that you're getting what you need, but it's not as nutritious as the real thing. People need to go out and see each other face to face. The biggest benefit to that is realizing people are much nicer and more reasonable/rational in real life than they are online. If you spend all your time online, it will give you the sense that humanity is doomed.

[canpakes]

I am hoping to hear your thoughts/perspectives about what has happened to America, if anything, because of this - And, what do you think will happen, if anything, if this continues?

Some of this looks to be driven by the idea that a person with a different perspective has somehow disrespected another person by merely holding that different perspective.

I was listening to an interview with a local politician who would not address the violence witnessed in a fairly recent ‘event’ at the nation’s capitol, skirting around straightforward questions with repeated statements about how the other side had ‘disrespected’ his side, so the violence that resulted was to be expected, with no accountability offered. One of the examples of disrespect that he gave was same-sex marriage, on the reasoning that someone choosing same-sex marriage disrespects folks that don’t agree with it.

I’m not sure how to defuse people who assume disrespect of their selves because someone else, in their own life, chose an option that the first person did not agree with. Once that conclusion is reached, all sorts of bad attitudes and more severe actions are enabled and justified by the ‘disrespected’, as they then see themselves as somehow attacked and/or injured.

So-called culture war agendas seem quite adept at propagating this problem.

[Some Schmo]

I was listening to an interview with a local politician who would not address the violence witnessed in a fairly recent ‘event’ at the nation’s capitol, skirting around straightforward questions with repeated statements about how the other side had ‘disrespected’ his side, so the violence that resulted was to be expected, with no accountability offered. One of the examples of disrespect that he gave was same-sex marriage, on the reasoning that someone choosing same-sex marriage disrespects folks that don’t agree with it.

It's incredibly difficult to come away from that without thinking that the GOP platform has become reveling in mental illness. The above explanation is the rough equivalent of an abusive husband asking his wife, "Why do you make me punish you like this?" as he's beating the crap out of her.

Nothing is more hypocritical than anyone in the GOP talking about personal responsibility. They have no damned clue what that is.

[canpakes]

If I offend Democrats who are there trying to repent and straighten out their lives then whether I'm right or wrong, I've slowed and frustrated the Lord's work.

What if ‘the Lord’ doesn’t require mortals to intervene on their behalf?

Honestly we don't need more debate and discussion. That's been done ad nauseam. We need action. We need separate countries.

This will never be a solution. You will never be able to live in an ideal society completely surrounded solely by others that you agree with politically and socially. You’ll always have people near that you’ll have to compromise with in some way, or that will not think in lockstep with you. And there’s not any distinct line that can be drawn, for the purpose of winnowing all of them out of your life.

This mindset would not result in a society that could thrive, as you’d be trying to create and maintain one where there would essentially be no real freedom.

[Some Schmo]

I noticed in the last several years that Fox News (among others) love to question the value of diversity. This explains why the Republican base is getting dumber. They believe they need to keep going back to the same gene pool, over and over again, because diversity is bad for undisclosed reasons.

We actually need Trump fans in this country. You have to have a baseline for stupidity everyone can point to and say, "Let's avoid that."

[Doctor CamNC4Me]

Hey all,

What do you want to see happen, and how will you make it so?

- Doc