Are people really basically good?

[Imwashingmypirate]

To expand: suppose a child is born with genetic disposition to having ADHD. Their environmental conditions both in vitro and in their childhood home are such that the genetic potential manifests and they exhibit behaviors such as inattention, difficulty in controlling their emotions, and having a hard time completing tasks. Some folks may write that off as the kid is just lazy and they should learn to focus. That's wrong and also cruel. The kid didn't choose their genes or their environment. And their life will be affected by those factors. That said, a diagnosis and treatment will be life impacting for that kid through both changing the effects of their genes through medication and/or behavior therapies. And they can thrive. Or there may be reasons they don't react well to treatment. Life experiences could send someone into the arc of their lives who lifts them up, or who brings out the worst in them. They can feel the nudge to leave or embrace those influences but how do we differentiate what is their will or self-originating choice? And what came from the accumulated factors before the supposed decision points?

If you're the parent of that child you do everything you can to nudge in positive directions. And also, as a human we are all doing that nudging out of the conditions that influenced whom we are and are becoming.

Freewill or not you do the best you can full of hope for the future and appreciating what is good, beautiful and true in the moment.

So, school think my kids are on the spectrum/possible ADHD. And actually now that I know more, I think I probably am too. And I totally see your point.

My kids certainly make good and not so good choices every day and yes, there are some choices they make that appear to be out of their control. And if I became more authoritative in my parenting I believe they would be able to avoid those not so fun to deal with choices but at what cost? They'd be scared to be themselves and I'd be living with horrendous guilt for repeating an element of my childhood. So right now I'm struggling to work out the balance and am trying to teach my kids kindness and respect in the hopes that they would want to make good choices. Strangely though, my kids were far kinder and more respectful when they were younger. One is starting to answer back and be cheeky and in some ways that's good because he isn't scared to but at the same time it kind of stings to see my baby growing up and being cheeky to me

They are beautiful kids but one has sensory issues and licks everything, growls at people who try to talk to her. The other makes noises in class but has started taking himself out of class to get some space. But at their core, they are kind hearted, caring people. So I can understand your perspective. But I greatly doubt they will grow up and torture and kill people without realising that somewhere in that they made a choice to go down that road.

If a killer felt no guilt or remorse, well then, would they be human?

[Imwashingmypirate]

I'm not entirely sure free will and choice are the same thing. I think there are extenuating circumstances and situations that take away our control at times and put us into situations where we may be backed into a corner. But how we choose to be has to be our choice and I think choosing to be downright nasty to others is within a person's control for the most part. Yes we can react and later regret. But abusing and bullying people is a choice. When my mum asked my dad why he did the things he did after we left he said, because he could. I don't know if that was just another nasty dig or if he meant it but really it was because he could. But that implies that he had a choice and he choose to be horrible.

I posted while you were writing this, not in response to it.

No matter what he said there is no world where your mother or you should have been subject to abusive or bullying behavior. I'm incredibly sorry to hear you experienced this.

It happens to a lot of people. I believe 1 in 4 school children experience/witness abuse (according to when I was doing teacher training). Probably more now that people are opening up. Not that it's right. But I did the work and I think and hope I am out of that and don't get triggered very much anymore... But my thoughts really are that I made a choice to not be like my dad. To go to therapy and try to heal. I have found myself angry and even slight anger triggers me into worrying that I am a monster. But I try to regulate that. That is a conscious choice. People surely see the consequences of their actions and must at that point think I shouldn't have done that, if they don't then their morals are pretty low.

[Imwashingmypirate]

In their mind they are good, but they deceive themselves.

Do they know they are deceiving themselves deep in there somewhere? I know when I lie to myself, there is a moment where I am aware and it crosses my mind that I am trying to push something down. (Not necessarily relating to choices but just things.)

[Imwashingmypirate]

In their mind they are good, but they deceive themselves.

I think there is something to that. I think most people see themselves as good people. I think that, just like me, most aspire to be good people. But we all still make bad choices.

There's making bad choices and then there's downright evil choices. There has to be a difference.

[Dr. Shades]

Are people really basically good?

Some are, some aren't. The difference can be found in the actions they take, not what they think about themselves.

[canpakes]

Would this have happened if these same people grew up attending primary or seminary in your opinion?

What do you see as the thing that moved society a notch past thousands of years of beating, torturing, raping and murdering each other on a massive scale with regularity and in the name of their preferred god/s, and into a time where this seems to happen a bit less often?

Just better, more threatening weapons? Or something else?

[Kishkumen]

You really test my faith in humanity with your posting habits, ajax18.

[Some Schmo]

You really test my faith in humanity with your posting habits, ajax18.

It seems there are some terrible people in the world who have a hard time imagining that not everyone is selfish and terrible as they are. They project. And as a result, their public policy opinions reflect that selfishness.

They're the type of people who admit they'd rape and murder if it weren't for their fear of hell (or actually do rape and murder because they don't fear hell).