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the Rapture is happening now
Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2025 2:15 am
by Dr. Sunstoned
I just found out that the savior is returning tomorrow from TikTok. And they are not talking about Kimmel's return. Supposedly, within the next day or two, Jesus will return and the rapture will take place.
From the article:
Videos tagged #Rapture have gone viral in recent days, with some warning that Jesus will return Sept. 23-24 for the Rapture, an event during which followers believe they will ascend into the sky to meet Jesus Christ.
https://www.oregonlive.com/news/2025/09 ... sept-23-24 explained.html
I've been twently years on religious forums, and I had to hear this news from TikTok. That stings.
Re: the Rapture is happening now
Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2025 2:35 am
by canpakes
OK, then. I’ll break out the good dishes.
Re: the Rapture is happening now
Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2025 2:40 am
by Jersey Girl
I'll believe what Yeshua said.
But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.~ Jesus, Matthew 24:36
Re: the Rapture is happening now
Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2025 2:44 am
by canpakes
Jersey Girl wrote: ↑Tue Sep 23, 2025 2:40 am
But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.~ Jesus, Matthew 24:36

Re: the Rapture is happening now
Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2025 6:07 am
by Jersey Girl
canpakes wrote: ↑Tue Sep 23, 2025 2:44 am
Jersey Girl wrote: ↑Tue Sep 23, 2025 2:40 am
But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.~ Jesus, Matthew 24:36
The Gospel of Mark provides clarification.
But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father. ~ Mark 13:32
Re: the Rapture is happening now
Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2025 6:14 am
by Some Schmo
The scuttlebutt is that Jesus will be at the next Chiefs game in the same luxury box as Taylor Swift.
You heard it here first. Jesus approves of this wedding.
Re: the Rapture is happening now
Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2025 6:16 am
by Some Schmo
Also, the holy ghost is betting big on the Chargers. Apparently, the holy ghost is a big Harbaugh believer.
It's fun to make up this crap. I guess I understand why the nut jobs do it (although the nut jobs seem to believe it... they couldn't possibly have an agenda, could they?)
Re: the Rapture is happening now
Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2025 1:39 pm
by Kishkumen
Oh nooooeeess! I've been . . . .
LEFT BEHIND!!!!!
Re: the Rapture is happening now
Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2025 2:16 pm
by Some Schmo
I got in my car and I drove real far
I drove all night and then I saw a light
And it came right down and landed on the ground
And out came a man from Mars
I tried to run but he had a gun
And he shot me dead and he ate my head
And then I'm in the man from Mars
I went out at night, eatin' cars
I ate Cadillacs, Lincolns too
Mercuries and Subaru
And I couldn't stop, I kept on eatin' cars
Then, when there was no more cars
I went out at night to eat up bars where the people meet
Face to face, dancing cheek to cheek...
I really have to stop eating pizza before bedtime.
Re: the Rapture is happening now
Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2025 2:22 pm
by canpakes
Kishkumen wrote: ↑Tue Sep 23, 2025 1:39 pm
Oh nooooeeess! I've been . . . .
LEFT BEHIND!!!!!
No worries. I’ll send pics.
There’s wireless up here.