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Unofficial Limericks thread, RIP
Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2021 2:41 am
by dantana
Has anyone been watched the Netflix offering of 'The Crown'? In an episode they have Margaret at the white house sharing a limerick with LBJ. "There was a young woman from Dallas, who used a dynamite stick for a phallus. They found her vagina in north Carolina and her arsehole in Buckingham palace."
LBJ. responded with, "There once was a man from Wisconsin, was blessed with a very large Johnson ..."
I thought it was funny.
https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/t ... 0229bced3c
Re: Unofficial Limericks
Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2021 3:15 am
by Lem
There once was a man named Mort
Whose dick was decidedly short.
When he climbed into bed
His ladyfriend said,
"That's not a dick it's a wart."
Re: Unofficial Limericks
Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2021 3:17 am
by Lem
dantana wrote: ↑Sun Jan 03, 2021 2:41 am
Has anyone been watched the Netflix offering of 'The Crown'? In an episode they have Margaret at the white house sharing a limerick with LBJ. "There was a young woman from Dallas, who used a dynamite stick for a phallus. They found her vagina in north Carolina and her arsehole in Buckingham palace."
LBJ. responded with, "There once was a man from Wisconsin, was blessed with a very large Johnson ..."
I thought it was funny.
https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/t ... 0229bced3c
From your link
Sadly, there is nothing in the historical record to back up the events.
Too bad. Large Johnsons are exceedingly rare. It would have been nice to see it documented.
Re: Unofficial Limericks
Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2021 3:34 am
by dantana
Lem wrote: ↑Sun Jan 03, 2021 3:17 am
From your link
Sadly, there is nothing in the historical record to back up the events.
Too bad. Large Johnsons are exceedingly rare. It would have been nice to see it documented.
Yabut, What could be more fun than limericks on the eve of destruction, and the entertainment of giving the Shades foundation a new tail to chase.
edit,add; substitute tale or tell for tail, depending on the impending Jersey Girl ruling.
Re: Unofficial Limericks
Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2021 3:44 am
by Lem
dantana wrote: ↑Sun Jan 03, 2021 3:34 am
Lem wrote: ↑Sun Jan 03, 2021 3:17 am
From your link
Too bad. Large Johnsons are exceedingly rare. It would have been nice to see it documented.
Yabut, What could be more fun than limericks on the eve of destruction, and the entertainment of giving the Shades foundation a new tail to chase.
Why would Shades care what tail you chase? or large Johnsons, as the case may be.
Re: Unofficial Limericks
Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2021 3:50 am
by dantana
Lem wrote: ↑Sun Jan 03, 2021 3:44 am
Why would Shades care what tail you chase? or large Johnsons, as the case may be.
Well, just for the record, I prefer split tails ... as opposed to split johnsons
Re: Unofficial Limericks
Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2021 3:51 am
by Lem
dantana wrote: ↑Sun Jan 03, 2021 3:34 am
Lem wrote: ↑Sun Jan 03, 2021 3:17 am
From your link
Too bad. Large Johnsons are exceedingly rare. It would have been nice to see it documented.
Yabut, What could be more fun than limericks on the eve of destruction, and the entertainment of giving the Shades foundation a new tail to chase.
edit,add; substitute tale or tell for tail, depending on the impending Jersey Girl ruling.
edit is too late. Your quest for tail has already been documented.
Re: Unofficial Limericks
Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2021 4:47 am
by dantana
Lem wrote: ↑Sun Jan 03, 2021 3:51 am
edit is too late. Your quest for tail has already been documented.
Your skill at 4 dimensional landmines is impressive master Lem. Mods; please de-pluralize Dantana's use of the term 'tail'. Boom.
Re: Unofficial Limericks
Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2021 6:28 am
by Some Schmo
In a moment of inspiration, I wrote this:
There once was this strange Ajax kid
You wouldn't believe what he did
He left himself loaded
Until he exploded
It only he'd just milked his squid
(It actually wasn't about ajax, but another poster talking about the evils of masturbation... the point is you can replace the name with anybody, as long as their name has 2 syllables).
I don't know if it fits this thread, but the limerick makes me laugh, so there it is.
Re: Unofficial Limericks
Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2021 3:57 pm
by dantana
Some Schmo wrote: ↑Sun Jan 03, 2021 6:28 am
In a moment of inspiration, I wrote this:
There once was this strange Ajax kid
You wouldn't believe what he did
He left himself loaded
Until he exploded
It only he'd just milked his squid
(It actually wasn't about ajax, but another poster talking about the evils of masturbation... the point is you can replace the name with anybody, as long as their name has 2 syllables).
I don't know if it fits this thread, but the limerick makes me laugh, so there it is.
Great limerick Schmo, but total wives tale. I survived a 2 year mission with only having to confess to the MP once. I did however come home, have an episode of near sex with the first female I saw, that was near enough to cause me to fear I must marry her or go to hell for eternity, and then spent the next six years wondering why God thought my one true soulmate needed to be the stupidest human in existence. But, yeah. Wives tale.