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Happy Treason Weasel Day!!

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2021 3:18 pm
by Res Ipsa
Greetings, and a happy Treason Weasel Day to all. Right now, the celebration has already started. Tune into C-SPAN for a live, ongoing broadcast of the Treason Weasel Super Spreading Party. Just now they were all dancing to music from the Titanic. Inspiring.

The days schedule is packed full of both Treasoning and Weaseling.

At 11:00 ET (that's easter time, not the cure little alien) will be the President's keynote address. Get your bingo cards ready, with an election lie in each space. You are guaranteed to win. Many times. The most times ever. (Caution: do not play this as a drinking game, as your local hospital ER is crammed full of COVID-19 patients, and who's gpt time to deal with alcohol poisoning?)

At 1:00 ET (still not the alien, although some of the Congresscritters may actually be reptiles from Planet Zog), we'll have the ceremonial outing of the Treason Weasels, as they stretch a two-hour ceremonial reading and counting of electoral votes into a never ending wild rumpus of cavorting Treason Weasels. Don't miss the solemn Ceremony of Political Suicide as the Treason Weasels line up two by two (as God intended) and lay their political careers on the altar of sacrifice to their awesome God Trump. Alas, Josh Hawley, we barely knew ye.

How long will it go? No one knows!! Marvel at the sight of Ted Cruz debasing himself before the man who insulted his wife, falsely accused his father, and accused him of election fraud. Don't miss a single word of breathtaking speeches by House Treason Weasels as they argue that their own elections were fraudulent! Listen with rapture to the ceremonial Mangling of the Constitution by guys who clerked for Conservative (it's an old people's word -- you'll have to look it up) Supreme Court Justices.

Presiding overall will be Vice President Pence, wearing the ritual suit of chainmail. Hear the chamber fall silent as the One Strong and Mighty exercises his awesome power of opening envelopes and reading numbers. The dramatic exercise of Constitutional might will leave you stunned and begging for more.

Throughout it all will be the uniquely American Riot of the Losermen on the beloved streets of our Capitol. Watch as armed Treason Weasels in military garb play Capture the BLM Flag (and Burn It) while greeting law enforcement with the traditional greeting of “F” the Police!! You simply will not believe the balletic technique as squads rush the Capitol building in a game of Red State Rover with the D.C. Police. As sunset fades into Twilight, enjoy the warmth of ceremonial bonfires as the Treason Weasels wander the streets in drunken revelry.

But to get the full effect of Treason Weaselhood, make sure to have multiple tabs open to the eloquent Twitter feeds of Lin Wood, Sidney Powell, and the President himself, as they provide real time commentary filled with Constitutional edjucation and an impressive tutorial on How to Be the Biggest Loserman in the History of Losermen.

Don't miss a single minute. I know I won't.

Re: Happy Treason Weasel Day!!

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2021 3:26 pm
by Some Schmo
Res Ipsa wrote:
Wed Jan 06, 2021 3:18 pm
Just now they were all dancing to music from the Titanic. Inspiring.
This is where you had me. Awesome stuff, RI.

Re: Happy Treason Weasel Day!!

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2021 3:58 pm
by Res Ipsa
Some Schmo wrote:
Wed Jan 06, 2021 3:26 pm
Res Ipsa wrote:
Wed Jan 06, 2021 3:18 pm
Just now they were all dancing to music from the Titanic. Inspiring.
This is where you had me. Awesome stuff, RI.
Part of the Treason Weasel legal team is up now. Rudy has confirmed to the jubilant crowd that, indeed, Vice President Pence is all-powerful and can overturn the results of the votes cast by electors certified by the states. "Let's have trial by combat." He has letters from state legislatures "begging" Pence to reject the electors. And he has "scientific proof" that the GA runoff was stolen by the secret algorithm in the Dominion machines.

John Eastman has iron-clad proof that votes were transferred from a "secret folder" on the Dominion machines. He's discovered that the percentage of vote completion shown by the media is not (as those liars, even Fox News, will tell you) the percentage of precincts reported but really is the percentage of votes counted. The man is a GENIUS!!!!

And the President just gave a thrilling video speech about how a small group in Washington D.C. has personally profited from government at the expense of the people. He is so damn insightful!

I'm sorry, but I just can't contain my excitement. Phil Collins is supporting the President by singing "Hold On" Well, I can't actually see Phil, but I know he's there in spirit! "It's all been a pack of lies" Damn straight!! The President is due any second now. I can't wait to see him in his robe and scepter!!!!

Wait, I can't believe it!!!! Even Elton John supports our Dear Leader!!!!! That's Sir Elton John. I hope Trump knights him today with that scepter. "Saturday Night's all right for fighting," Yes!! I will fight for you, my liege. “F” yeah!!!!

Wait. Saturday Night.... I think that must be a message from Q. I get it -- we're not storming the Capitol today. We're taking it over Saturday night. Stupid Communist Libs won't see it coming.

11:10 still no Trump. He's a master at building tension. In the meantime, Michael Jackson is now supporting the President!! He's defeated the evil Hugo Chavez in the land of dead with his laser beam eyes. Billie Jean.... Must be another message from Q. There it is: "Don't think twice." I'm with you, Michael!!! I won't even think once!!! "The kid is not my son...." Damn, maybe Eric is a deep state plant. I'll have to check in with my Parlor buddies.... Oh, Parlor says the message is "I am the one." That Q is soooo clever!!

11:15 Even Journey hasn't stopped believing!! I believe, Journey!!!! I want to throw the dice just one more time!!!! Gotta remember to breathe into that paper bag I brought every once in a while. Almost passed out there.

11:20 On, now somebody singing Hallelujah. Hallelujah Trump!!! Hallelujah!!!!

11:30 Now playing Glora. Something something "all the voices in your head." “F” yeah!!! Go voices!!!

More Sir Elton!!! Goodbye Norma Jean. Get it? Goodbye Joseph Bide!! Perfect fit. And this part "You had the grace to hold yourself

While those around you crawled
They crawled out of the woodwork
And they whispered into your brain
They set you on the treadmill
And they made you change your name

Yeah, just like Trump. His brain has the bestest whispers ever!! Whisper to me, Tump Brain!!!! And they made him change his name, those commie Democrat bastards!! He wanted to use his real name, Drumph!! But they made him change it!!

And Michael's back with Beat It!!! Yes, Michael. I will always think of our magnificent leader while I beat it.!!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder where the President is. Probably those anti bastards are blocking his motorcade. We hates them, precious, we does.

Oh yeah. Now they're bringing the big guns!! Tiny Dancer!! Hell yeah. Sir Elton's tribute to Ivanka. Hold me closer, tiny Ivanka!!! The next member of the Trump dynasty!! "Count the headlights on the highway" Yeah!! Count the legal votes in the Georgia!!!! Sir Elton rocks!!

And now my favorite" Macho Man!! Trump es muy macho!!! Have you seen him drink water or walk down a steep ramp? Or wresting a golf cart to the ground and riding it around?? He's the most macho macho guy ever!! Snowflake libs melt in his presence!!! Hey! Hey! Hey Hey Hey!!!

Re: Happy Treason Weasel Day!!

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2021 4:40 pm
by canpakes
Any sign of an impending attack by Orcs*, yet?

*overly reactionary conservative snowflakes

Image

Re: Happy Treason Weasel Day!!

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2021 4:44 pm
by Lem
Omg, watching some live feed, the announcer still trying to kill time, literally said this, with NO irony whatsoever...
You know, Presidents don't usually do this... we haven't really seen past Presidents do what this President does....
How right she is. :roll: :roll: :roll:

Re: Happy Treason Weasel Day!!

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2021 4:51 pm
by Res Ipsa
8:50 Those antifa commmies. Now they've sabotaged the soundtrack so that the same songs are repeating over and over. They don't want us to hear the millions of songs written in praise of the Divine Trump and his divine MAGAs.

Re: Happy Treason Weasel Day!!

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2021 4:56 pm
by canpakes
Res Ipsa wrote:
Wed Jan 06, 2021 4:51 pm
8:50 Those antifa commmies. Now they've sabotaged the soundtrack so that the same songs are repeating over and over. They don't want us to hear the millions of songs written in praise of the Divine Trump and his divine MAGAs.
Like this one?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C7PlMqsc5Cc

Re: Happy Treason Weasel Day!!

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2021 4:57 pm
by Res Ipsa
Ah, the MAGA underground just retweeted this from Dan Scavino: https://Twitter.com/DanScavino/status/1 ... 73697?s=20. I'm so relieved that he's on his way.

Re: Happy Treason Weasel Day!!

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2021 4:59 pm
by Res Ipsa
He's Here!!! He's Here!!! OMG!!!!!!!!

God Bless the USA!!!

I love it when he mingles with the crowd from behind his bullet-proof screen. Such a man of the people!!!

OMG!! They sabotaged his mike!!!!

Whew, fixed.

Yeah, attack that media!!! Fake news!!!! Big Tech!!! They rigged the election!!!! They did it again last night.

"We will never give up. We will never concede. You never concede when theft is involved."

"We will not let them silence your voices."

Crowd chants: "Fight for Trump."

"I hope that Mike Pence does the right thing. I hope so." "He has the absolute right to do so."

"States want to revote." "All Mike Pence has to do is send it back to the states and they recertify it."

"There's never been a movement like this ever, ever."

Crowd chants: "We love Trump!"

"We will not take down the Washington Monument." "They want to take the Jefferson Memorial Down." "They've been taking down statues of Lincoln, too."

"They've used the pandemic as a means of defrauding the people."

"I wanna go back eight weeks. I wanna go back."

"Our country will be destroyed and we're not going to allow that."

"You're the real people. You're the people who built this nation."

Attacking the "weak Republicans!!!" Hell yeah!!

Hell yeah!!! Primary those weak Republicans.

The media "has become the enemy of the people. It's the biggest problem we have."

"You're sworn to uphold the Constitution!!"

"We're gonna walk down to the Capitol and we're going to cheer on our brave Congressmen and women."

"Our country has been under siege for a long time."

Space Force!!!!! Hell yeah!!!!

"If they do the wrong thing, we should never, never forget."

"Where's Hillary? Where is she?"

"It takes more courage not to step up, they're going to find that out."

Yes!! Here comes the reading of the evidence!!!!

"Where's Hunter!!!!"

"We don't have a fair media anymore. It's suppression."

"I'm not happy with the Supreme Court. They like to rule against me."

"We got him through, but he didn't give a damn."

"All of a sudden Bill Barr changed."

OK, here comes the evidence!!

"You can't make a change [election law] unless the legislature approves it."

"There were more than 205K more ballots case in PA than your had voters." "The numbers much greater than that now!" 60K absentee ballots were sent back before they were ever sent to voters. 400K ballots appeared from nowhere -- no one knows where they came from. "They want to rectify their votes."

"Mike Pence has to agree to send it back."

"You will have an illegitimate President. That's what you'll have. And we can't allow that."

Yes. Sir stories. I love these. "Sir, that's called a suppression poll."

Damn. Twitter is preventing people from following the President.

"They want to indoctrinate your children."

Liz Cheney doesn't want to bring soldiers home. I brought them back home.

"We got rid of a bunch of things that everybody knows."

"They defrauded us out of an election in Georgia. And we won't forget it."

AZ cast more voters than there are people. Wow!!!

Turnout in Detroit was 139% of the total registered voters!!! Fraud!!!!!!

Crowd chants: "We love you."

"This is a criminal enterprise!"

"Detroit had more votes than it had voters."

"When you catch somebody in a fraud you're allowed to go by different rules."

You don't have to follow the constitution if you're defending the constitution.

"It's so crazy that people don't believe it."

"We will clean up the corruption in the nation's capitol."

"if we allow these people that illegally take over this country..."

"Now that they think Biden's coming, the caravans are coming back."

"If you don't fight like hell, you're not going to have a country anymore."

They're heading now to the Capitol to try and give the weak Republicans the courage to "take back our country."

Break time!! 45 minutes until Treason Weasel Roll call!!!!

Re: Happy Treason Weasel Day!!

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2021 5:01 pm
by canpakes
Res Ipsa wrote:
Wed Jan 06, 2021 4:57 pm
Ah, the MAGA underground just retweeted this from Dan Scavino: https://Twitter.com/DanScavino/status/1 ... 73697?s=20. I'm so relieved that he's on his way.
Oh, the irony of holding that rally while huddled around the biggest dick-shaped object in D.C.