Little dog. Big space.
Posted: Mon Jan 18, 2021 12:13 am
I didn't think I would put this here but I decided to do it because we share so much here. I don't think I will write much detail. I made a post yesterday and I think I made one today, and I thought maybe I could separate from in real life but I can't so here goes.
I picked her out of a litter of puppies down in Pueblo almost 17 years ago. I watched the litter and I picked the scrapper who also happened to be the runt. She was feisty from the beginning. When we brought her home she did things that surprised us. She diligently used her little pads for potty with never a "miss" until she learned what "outside" was for. She was the tiniest little thing but like I said, the scrapper. She somehow managed to scale the fabric covered couch starting at the very bottom ruffle, digging in her little puppy claws and climbed hard until she reached the top where she would promptly fall asleep. She never knew how small she was. She would take on the other Pug and even our Golden/Lab mix who entertained her battles with the gentle nature of his mixed breed.
She feared exactly nothing. She loved exactly everyone.
She was a fawn Pug with the prettiest shoe button eyes. She was supposed to be my dog but she bonded to her Dad. She followed him everywhere inside and outside. She supervised working on all manner of vehicles from under the shade of the trees and nice dish of water on the side. She road around with him when he went out to plow during snowstorms. He even took her to the grocery store, putting her on a blanket in the cart and taking her all around to greet his acquaintances there. She was buddies with our cat who, when she was outside, he would come around to sit with her then sprawl out and lay beside her. They shared many an afternoon siesta this summer when I put her bed outside on the deck next to his. When she couldn't go outside, he would plop himself on the other side of the glass door and still nap near her. This last year, when I took her out in her stroller for a walk, the cat would walk along with us.
But like I said, she was bonded to her Dad most of all. I have a picture of them where he was kneeling in front of a table to do something with a stereo, she came over, curled up in a ball and fell asleep on his crossed bare feet. When he would go out, which he does most days, she would sleep the entire time until just about 10 minutes before he was about to come home then start barking for him. She gave him total hell when he got home until he picked her up and let her stick like glue to him for the rest of the night. He waited on her hand and paw. He was her anchor.
She died in her Dad's arms yesterday.
The last week was one of rapid decline and there was no mistake that this was going to be it. I cannot tell you all the things that this tough boy from Jersey did for her and with her in her final hours, but it will be written on my heart forever and also on his. That she died in his arms where she was most happy and did so in peace, is enough to share.
We buried her on the hill yesterday afternoon. It's a nice place, nothing fancy, but it is under a stand of tall pines and when we get enough rain there will be dog bane growing up to make it beautiful. I think I will put a bench up there in summer to make it a place to sit, pray, meditate, and reflect. In the last 24 hours we have come to realize how big a space such a little dog can leave behind her. We are sad but we are managing. Really, we are both gutted. But managing.
I know I have used many Pug images and avatars over the years. None of them was ever her or the other Pug. I want to post a pic of her here but I don't think I want to leave it up for more than one day. I don't even know if I want to post it to start with and then again, I don't know why I wouldn't. You are my friends and adversaries in objects of the mind and I think it's probably okay to do. I don't know what it will feel like to do this so I might yank it off in 5 seconds.
Rest easy on the hill, Sadie.
I picked her out of a litter of puppies down in Pueblo almost 17 years ago. I watched the litter and I picked the scrapper who also happened to be the runt. She was feisty from the beginning. When we brought her home she did things that surprised us. She diligently used her little pads for potty with never a "miss" until she learned what "outside" was for. She was the tiniest little thing but like I said, the scrapper. She somehow managed to scale the fabric covered couch starting at the very bottom ruffle, digging in her little puppy claws and climbed hard until she reached the top where she would promptly fall asleep. She never knew how small she was. She would take on the other Pug and even our Golden/Lab mix who entertained her battles with the gentle nature of his mixed breed.
She feared exactly nothing. She loved exactly everyone.
She was a fawn Pug with the prettiest shoe button eyes. She was supposed to be my dog but she bonded to her Dad. She followed him everywhere inside and outside. She supervised working on all manner of vehicles from under the shade of the trees and nice dish of water on the side. She road around with him when he went out to plow during snowstorms. He even took her to the grocery store, putting her on a blanket in the cart and taking her all around to greet his acquaintances there. She was buddies with our cat who, when she was outside, he would come around to sit with her then sprawl out and lay beside her. They shared many an afternoon siesta this summer when I put her bed outside on the deck next to his. When she couldn't go outside, he would plop himself on the other side of the glass door and still nap near her. This last year, when I took her out in her stroller for a walk, the cat would walk along with us.
But like I said, she was bonded to her Dad most of all. I have a picture of them where he was kneeling in front of a table to do something with a stereo, she came over, curled up in a ball and fell asleep on his crossed bare feet. When he would go out, which he does most days, she would sleep the entire time until just about 10 minutes before he was about to come home then start barking for him. She gave him total hell when he got home until he picked her up and let her stick like glue to him for the rest of the night. He waited on her hand and paw. He was her anchor.
She died in her Dad's arms yesterday.
The last week was one of rapid decline and there was no mistake that this was going to be it. I cannot tell you all the things that this tough boy from Jersey did for her and with her in her final hours, but it will be written on my heart forever and also on his. That she died in his arms where she was most happy and did so in peace, is enough to share.
We buried her on the hill yesterday afternoon. It's a nice place, nothing fancy, but it is under a stand of tall pines and when we get enough rain there will be dog bane growing up to make it beautiful. I think I will put a bench up there in summer to make it a place to sit, pray, meditate, and reflect. In the last 24 hours we have come to realize how big a space such a little dog can leave behind her. We are sad but we are managing. Really, we are both gutted. But managing.
I know I have used many Pug images and avatars over the years. None of them was ever her or the other Pug. I want to post a pic of her here but I don't think I want to leave it up for more than one day. I don't even know if I want to post it to start with and then again, I don't know why I wouldn't. You are my friends and adversaries in objects of the mind and I think it's probably okay to do. I don't know what it will feel like to do this so I might yank it off in 5 seconds.
Rest easy on the hill, Sadie.