Socialist Distancing

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More Conservatives Deciding Not To Get Vaccinated After Learning Liberals Will Stay Away From Them

U.S.—A new study has found that many conservatives are deciding not to get the COVID-19 vaccine after they learned that liberals will continue staying away from them for their safety.

The Biden administration has been trying to reach out to conservatives to get them to take the vaccine, but the excellent benefits of not getting vaccinated, like being able to be alone all the time and not having to interact with liberals, outweigh the benefits for many Republicans.

"You mean they'll intentionally social distance from me, like, forever? Oh yeah, I'm definitely not getting vaccinated!" said one man in Texas. "No crowds, no liberals bugging me? You mean, like, the Californian transplants who work in my office building won't sit at my lunch table? This is great!"

There is, of course, a slightly increased risk of dying if you don't get the vaccine, but conservatives say that's a risk they're willing to take if it means they don't have to hang out with liberals constantly screaming at them that they're racist Nazi homophobes, "or whatever the current label is."

"I mean, yeah, I could die," said one man in Alabama. "But who wants to live a life with liberals anyway? That's not living, brother.'

Those who do get the vaccine are resorting to wearing their old MAGA hats in order to keep liberals away.

https://babylonbee.com/news/more-conser ... -from-them

Fact check coming in 3, 2, 1... Don't ever say I don't have a sense of humor.

[Chap]

Don't ever say I don't have a sense of humor.

On the basis of a quick glance, I'd say you do!

Let's work on this ...

[Some Schmo]

This wouldn't surprise me in the least. Self-interest is not an American Republican's strong point... not if they're poor, anyway.

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Losing Baseball Team Suggests New Rules Allowing Them To Add 4 Players To The Field

HAMPTON FALLS, VA—The official softball team of Gracecornerstonelife Church in Hampton Falls was losing fair and square against the Mormon team last weekend. But then, they had a great idea: "rebalancing" the field by adding four of their own players to the outfield.

The team was quickly accused of "packing the field" and changing the rules in the middle of the game, but they reject these criticisms as unfounded and "maybe racist."

"We're not packing the field; we're unpacking it," said Pastor John. "We're merely rebalancing the game and making long-overdue changes to ensure the fans have a voice. They would be really unhappy if we lose." He gestured to the stands, where over seven fans were watching the game.

"The founding fathers of baseball never foresaw that one day we would be losing a game, against the LDS of all people," he added. "The rules of baseball are flexible -- a living document. Therefore, we should be able to change the rules in the middle of a game to our advantage."

If the rule change goes through, the church team will be allowed to immediately appoint four outfielders to join the game to help silence the Mormons' bats.

It may all be a moot point, however, as the Mormons have been accused of looking at seer stones to predict the opposing teams' plays.

This was a pretty good one with an LDS reference.

[canpakes]

Losing Baseball Team Demands New Rules Allowing Them To Win with Fewer Runs than Opponent

HAMPTON FALLS, VA—The official baseball team of Gracecornerstonelife Church in Hampton Falls was losing fair and square against the Mormon team last weekend. But then, they had a great idea: claiming that the Mormons cheated, and that they had actually won, instead of getting their arse handed to them.

The team filed over 60 lawsuits, including having another team announce a lawsuit against the Mormons based on the claim that showing up to the field early was illegal. No actual evidence of cheating was presented.

The Gracecornerstonelife Church team later decided to ransack the hotdog stand and restrooms after their claims were not entertained by the attending fans or opposing team.

[Doctor CamNC4Me]

What Xanax thinks he’s like when crap posting on the board:

[Themis]

Fact check coming in 3, 2, 1... Don't ever say I don't have a sense of humor.

Sure. It was a little funny, and jokes don't necessarily need to make sense to be funny. Conservatives should watch out though. Liberals know the vaccines protect the vaccinated almost 100% from severe Covid 19 disease. They also know the vaccines do not mean one cannot get covid 19. Especially over many months to years after being vaccinated. Beware the liberals showing up at conservative events, for they are asymptomatic with covid 19 to infect the un-vaccinated conservative masses.

[ajax18]

Fact check coming in 3, 2, 1... Don't ever say I don't have a sense of humor.

Sure. It was a little funny, and jokes don't necessarily need to make sense to be funny. Conservatives should watch out though. Liberals know the vaccines protect the vaccinated almost 100% from severe Covid 19 disease. They also know the vaccines do not mean one cannot get covid 19. Especially over many months to years after being vaccinated. Beware the liberals showing up at conservative events, for they are asymptomatic with covid 19 to infect the un-vaccinated conservative masses.

lol, if I were scared of dying from COVID. What actually scares me is having my job shut down, being forced to work on the black market, and seeing more enormous chunks of my inflated paycheck dollars being redistributed under the guise of COVID.

[Chap]

lol, if I were scared of dying from COVID.

C'mon now. You love your family, don't you? Even if you are one of the pretty rare human beings who set little value on life for its own sake, don't you have a daughter for whom her father's death (or long-term physical or mental disablement) would be a huge emotional and material loss?

So please cut the crap a little.

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C'mon now. You love your family, don't you?

I'd rather be dead than see my family living in poverty. My family would be much better off if I were dead than if I were disabled.

Even if you are one of the pretty rare human beings who set little value on life for its own sake, don't you have a daughter for whom her father's death (or long-term physical or mental disablement) would be a huge emotional and material loss?

So please cut the crap a little.

I'll take 550,000/250 million odds any day. That's about 0.2%. How many working age people have been permanently disabled from COVID so far? It's not the 20% you predicted last year at this time.