"Are you on your period or something?" and other sexist remarks

[Res Ipsa]

Please, mother, make it stop!

The beatings will continue until morale improves!

[Doctor CamNC4Me]

Good Lord, you’re still acting like the victim. Did you not get enough attention writing for the Trib? “F”. At least read the opening post you dill weed.

- Doc

F off. I do not want any further insults from you.

Once again, we see Robert Kirby doubling down and refusing to damned read the OP. Despite Chap’s entreaties to stop, this is an important point to note about the thread. We have a purported feminist ally waltzing into a thread where the reason for the OP was clearly shown by copying and pasting a story about a respectable woman who’s spent a lifetime enduring dismissive comments and behaviors from men, and she finally lost her crap on her husband (which I don’t agree with, but understand), and this feminist ally makes a stupid dismissive comment not once, not twice, but three damned times and THEN gets so damned butthurt at being called out for being a jackass on this issue that he attempts to make it about himself, turn the board against feminism (i wIlL nEvEr tOuCh a FeMiNisT tOpIc aGaIn), and make it all about himself. Instead of having a moment of clarity and seeing the thread through not only Lemmie’s eyes, but from Ms. Brown’s eyes, or even Jersey Girl’s eyes he damned craps up the thread with ‘cAn I gEt aLiSt oF aCcEpTaBlE tErMs to use around those Haiphong Harbor women’?

Ok, buddy. You’re the victim. You’ve been wronged. We should’ve provided you a comprehensive list to use around those emotional women just itching for a fight. Your metaphor describing feminism and sexist language was totally appropriate, and women should stop being so explosive.

- Doc

[Chap]

Please, mother, make it stop!

The beatings will continue until morale improves!

It certainly looks like it.

[Analytics]

Oh my. I wasn't going to bring this up, but since you did, are you referring to the time when I was participating in a thread that contained statistical analysis, and you, multiple times, would give a statistical response, then stop, refer to me specifically as a female, and then give a simplified (dumbed down) version, followed by asking me, the female you thought could not POSSIBLY understand your mathematical analysis, the question:

“Does that make sense?”

The way I remember the event is that you said you didn't understand my argument and asked me to explain it. I obviously misunderstood the question, and wasn't aware that statistics was your speciality (if you had posted your C.V. at some point, I missed it).

I find it strange that you would perceive this misunderstanding about your question as sexist. Why would I think a female "could not POSSIBLY understand my mathematical analysis?" I work with brilliant females every day who understand sophisticated mathematics. In my world, there is nothing the least bit notable about highly educated and intelligent professionals being women.

https://www.google.com/search?q=what+pe ... are+female

Also check out this link, where you'll see that the Society of Actuaries has fifteen Board members. Of the fifteen, ten are women.

https://www.soa.org/about/governance/bo ... directors/

I'm just totally blindsided by your preconception that I would think a female could not POSSIBLY understand math. It has no bearing on how I see the world.

Do you honestly not understand the difference between THAT, and me suggesting “does that make sense?” Is better than “Are you on your period?”

What I still don't understand is how misunderstanding your question is an example of "the absolutely most egregious sexist expressions" that you feel compelled to call out.

Likewise, I still don't understand how thinking "full-time missionaries" means "full-time missionaries" is another example of "the most egregious sexist expressions" that you feel compelled to call out.

(By the way, when you were condescending to the lone female on the thread, you were speaking to a professor who specializes in economic policy and statistical analysis. The math you were “explaining” to me was what I teach, in my graduate classes.)

Congratulations on your career success. I know getting to where you are requires innate intelligence and a ton of disciplined work.

Wrapping this up, what do you want from me? The next time you blindside me with accusations of sexism for transgressions such as using the term "full-time missionaries" to refer to the statistic labeled "full-time missionaries" in the Church's statistical report, what should I do? If I put my hands in my pockets, put a contrite look on my face, look down, and mumble "sorry," will that make you happy?

[Some Schmo]

I’m not going to participate in a process that I believe perpetuates the problem.

This whole thread has been destructive. I've participated in the pro-feminist side of arguments in the past. Now I will steer as far clear from them as possible.

Yeah, seriously. This thread really advances women's issues... in some other universe.

All I can think about is that if this is the way people are trying to end sexism, it will never end. Nobody's going to listen if all you have to offer is thoughtless reactions and can't be bothered to listen yourself, because you've decided to insulate yourself in your own self-pity and pseudo-righteousness.

[Lem]

Oh my. I wasn't going to bring this up, but since you did, are you referring to the time when I was participating in a thread that contained statistical analysis, and you, multiple times, would give a statistical response, then stop, refer to me specifically as a female, and then give a simplified (dumbed down) version, followed by asking me, the female you thought could not POSSIBLY understand your mathematical analysis, the question:

“Does that make sense?”

The way I remember the event is that you said you didn't understand my argument and asked me to explain it.

Funny, I remember I disagreed with you, and POLITELY asked you to further explain, In case I was misinterpreting something. You know, that POLITE way women have, rather than just tell someone they are wrong. I should have just told you you were wrong.

Wrapping this up, what do you want from me?

Not a damned thing.

The next time you blindside me with accusations of sexism for transgressions such as using the term "full-time missionaries" to refer to the statistic labeled "full-time missionaries" in the Church's statistical report, what should I do? If I put my hands in my pockets, put a contrite look on my face, look down, and mumble "sorry," will that make you happy?

No. I would be completely satisfied if you just never again say to a woman:

"YOUR THINKING IS CLOUDY. ARE YOU ON YOUR PERIOD OR SOMETHING?"


Who knew this would be such a hard point to get across.

[Analytics]

Funny, I remember I disagreed with you, and POLITELY asked you to further explain, In case I was misinterpreting something. You know, that POLITE way women have, rather than just tell someone they are wrong. I should have just told you you were wrong.

That is certainly possible. What we can agree on is that whatever the specifics, I didn't understand exactly what you disagreed about, nor your background in statistics.

No. I would be completely satisfied if you just never again say to a woman:

"YOUR THINKING IS CLOUDY. ARE YOU ON YOUR PERIOD OR SOMETHING?"
[/size]

I have some wonderful news for you. I'll never say that again. Done.

As a bonus, I have also tried to remove from my lexicon the phrase "Does that make sense?" I'm trying to train myself to say "What are your thoughts?" instead.

Unfortunately, it will be harder to avoid the phrase "full-time missionary."

[Some Schmo]

As a bonus, I have also tried to remove from my lexicon the phrase "Does that make sense?" I'm trying to train myself to say "What are your thoughts?" instead.

I've used the phrase "Does that make sense" about a billion times in my life, and it's never offended anyone.

I'm wondering what has to be going on in one's mind to take offense at that. Perhaps it's just a desire to be offended.

[Lem]

Funny, I remember I disagreed with you, and POLITELY asked you to further explain, In case I was misinterpreting something. You know, that POLITE way women have, rather than just tell someone they are wrong. I should have just told you you were wrong.

That is certainly possible. What we can agree on is that whatever the specifics, I didn't understand exactly what you disagreed about, nor your background in statistics.

No. I would be completely satisfied if you just never again say to a woman:

"YOUR THINKING IS CLOUDY. ARE YOU ON YOUR PERIOD OR SOMETHING?"
[/size]

I have some wonderful news for you. I'll never say that again. Done.

As a bonus, I have also tried to remove from my lexicon the phrase "Does that make sense?" I'm trying to train myself to say "What are your thoughts?" instead.

Unfortunately, it will be harder to avoid the phrase "full-time missionary."

Your over-reaction is unnecessary. Simply not asking if a woman is on her period when you disagree with her is sufficient.

Additionally, your little slur over on Res Ipsa's thread was unnecessary.

As another case study, Schmo said on that thread, "Men who can avoid [tropes such as my infamous 7 words] are certainly more evolved. It's certainly past time to leave those in the rhetorical toolbox." That seems to be exactly your point here, Res Ipsa, right? That people shouldn't say what I said? Despite this excellent advice, Lem found reason to be offended by what he said and it quickly devolved into her declaring, "this un-damned-believable. . Did you even READ the stupid title of this thread? Did you read the OP? Did you read anything posted here? Did you not get the point of Doc's post?!!!!!!"

Get your story straight. There were 3 or 4 exchanges where I tried very hard to be clear with my point, which you define as 'quickly devolving' and my response to some schmo that you quoted was after he said 'it looked like I was picking a fight,' and after he and Doc had had several pointed exchanges. And yes, I made a heated response (like pretty much every man and woman posting here does occasionally. )

I feel like you need to try to make me look bad so you can get past this. It's not necessary. The apology you made early on was entirely sufficient and I don't hold it against you.

[Some Schmo]

Get your story straight. There were 3 or 4 exchanges where I tried very hard to be clear with my point, which you define as 'quickly devolving' and my response to some schmo that you quoted was after he said 'it looked like I was picking a fight,' and after he and Doc had had several pointed exchanges.

Yeah, you might want to get your story straight. I never had any "pointed exchanges" with Doc in this thread. Your memory is just as suspect.

And it turns out I was right; you were here for a fight. That has become painfully obvious. And I've yet to receive a "thank you" for fulfilling your wish. Ingrate.